jokes...feel free to add some more...

Girls Night Out
Four women went to a ladies nightclub. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, she licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a $20 bill. She called theguy back, licked the $20 bill and stuck it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, the third girl pulled out a $50 bill, called the guy over, and licked the $50 bill. I was worried about the way things were going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his
butt cheeks again.
My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things were going, the guy gyrated over to me!! Now everyone's attention was focused on me, and the guy was egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do? The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the 80 bucks and went home.


A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
"St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line, St. Peter says "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies: "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.

 

It was too painful to read. Truly, that font is very light.

 

does that help your poor little eyes...j/k