fuck!(a little long, a little desperate..)

i just don't know how to feel right now. my boyfriend and i have been together for about 8 months or so and everything's great but he's a crazy party animal and is ALWAYS with a million friends having some beers and chillin and doing wild stuff... he's in last year university and only has 3 courses.. he works all summer so he doesn't work during the school year. i have 5 courses, i work about 20 hours a week, i volunteer about 5 hours a week, and i have other things on top of that.. so needless to say i don't have that much time to party. when i do get the time, i'm often too tired to keep up with the gang. this weekend he's had people staying at his house (including a bunch of other girls) that he's known forever and they've been partying non stop.. like seriously, 24/7, for 4 days now. I've been working like a dog at my job, then i was absolutely devastated by laryngitis and begining stages of strep throat so i had to take time off work (which sucks cause i need the money) and i felt sooooo crappy for the two days they were all havign the time of their lives.. and then finally im feeling a little better today, but i have so much school work to catch up on now so i'm at home FRANTICALLY trying to keep up with 5 difficult courses and i just talked to him online and he tells me they're all getting stoned and having a big dance party at his place... which, obviously, is SO freaking fun. not like i can go, right? i'm still trying to fight off this illness, i have 6 hours of school tomorrow and 4 hours of work, and the rest of my week gets busier from there. i feel so excluded, like i shoudln't even be his girlfriend.. he has enough fun without me.. what good am i? guys, girls, please advise me... am i just being a jealous whiner?? i know it sounds so selfish but i wish i felt more cared for... fuck i'm so frustrated

 

three words: talk. to. him.

how will he know if you don't tell him how you feel? if this partying has always been a part of his lifestyle, then he probably has no idea that you feel excluded. tell him how you feel. that's the only way he's going to know...

 

no u're not whining or jealous.. well at least not jealous of another woman jealous .

life is not easy as u're finding out. sometimes u have to ask yourself what your goals in life are and whether you think it's worth pursuing them. FWIW from what you post I see someone whose driven and whose ambitious and also responsible. All these things are very hard to be at 18 so it's not surprising sometimes that it all becomes a bit much and you want to say sod it.. I want a good time too. The question you have to ask yourself first of all is do you want this life and if so what are you trying to achieve? And then it's a question of prioritising and deciding where your BF fits in your life. It wouldn't be the first time that someone's not got time for a relationship. there is no right or wrong way to live life.. it's just what you want from it and how you get it and whether at the end of the day it will make you happy. good luck.. I think u'll be just fine. u strike me as the type who has all the necessary coping mechanisms to make it good for you .

 

One thing comes to mind, as I am an old man and can look back. Try to realize that the situation you are in is just temporary. When I get stressed out I tend to forget that and the now becomes all. You can only do so much. So just take one thing at a time. No matter what, eat well, get proper sleep and drink lots of water. I know it sounds like you mother, just trying to help.

 

The first year at college is often the toughest. Try to control what you can. You need the courses and the money but you may be able to cut back some of your volunteer work. You can't be everything to everyone or you'll burn yourself out.

Parties are fun but they aren't everything and there will always be more parties. I know it's frustrating to miss something enjoyable. The opportunity for your degree is something that won't come back as easily in the future. I would keep it as a high priority.

Hope you are feeling better now, Socks. You seem like a nice person.

.

 

well
ok..
i dont get it..
i work 8 hours a day, so in a week it makes about 40 hours.. i do study in the university and i still have some time to have fun and play ..
as i was in finland, as wxchange student, i was partying nonstop 5 or so days in a row as well.. well, i wasnt working then..
in the summer i was working and partying at the same time (did my work, 45 or so hours in a week) - 1 day working 2 partying..
as im doing them at the same time right now, i still have some power.. right now ive been working in the evenings, and ive got few beers on the nights as im just off the work.. im chillin and i been partying whole night..
i dont get it? why you dont have any time?