. A recent post asked what kind of Gay are you? My curiosity is about bisexuals. The idea of bisexuality owes alot to the Kinsey Report on Male Sexuality. Unfortunately, Kinsey's data were corrupted. (He focused his gay part of the studies on too small a group of individuals.) But he did come up with a decent concept that we all seem to reflect on. The Kinsey Scale was unique because it placed most folks somewhere between totally gay and totally straight. It gave room for someone to identify as bi, just as Kinsey himself identified. I see myself as totally gay, but because I have had sex with a woman I wouldn't be placed on the most extreme end of the scale (6). I could never have a fulfilling relationship with a woman, I mean sexually fulfilling. I've had sex with a woman, but I had to shut my eyes and imagine a man. So in a sense I was having sex with a man, he just happened to be in another building on the other side of the planet. The question isn't can you have sex with someone of the same sex, because anyone can, the question is can you have a fulfilling emotional relationship? In the middle of the Kinsey Scale, you find ppl who can have fulfilling sexual relations with either men or women. But are they more satisfied with one or the other. Does that make sense? The Theory wouldn't really have an absolute bi. You might be more or less bi than the next person, or more attracted to men on the weekend, or more attracted to women in your youth or more attracted to the same sex in your fantasies, and so it goes. Regardless of that, I think if you're in the middle, you would be more prone to being straight or having a straight relationship. Yes, always accepting the possibility of having a queer lover, but how much easier to keep a straight relationship. How much less of a hassle. I don't have that luxury. (Which makes that part of my life that much more uncomplicated.) Being gay is tuff, the way society treats you. Nobody would wish that on their child. (I am proud to be gay, but not blind.) I don't know what it would be like to have a choice. Some of the Bi folks I have met think it is okay to take a main straight relationship, somebody they marry and have kids with, and then have gay lovers on the down low. A lot of straight folks have lovers on the side. If you have committed to a relationship, that's called cheating. But for some reason there is the Bi who thinks it's their right to be married and still screw a queer, well... because they can. It isn't cheating because 1) their partner can't "satisfy" them completely, and 2) they can't marry the queer. I just think straight folks should be involved with straight folks. Queer folks should definitely be involved with other queer folks. And bisexuals should date other bisexuals. Am I too old fashioned? .
shouldn't really place boundaries on other people. if you don't want a relationship with a married person, then don't. people find their love and joy where they can, life is too short to judge. i think that it's terribly sad when people lie to themselves and their partners. but when people are open, honest and okay with one another, a couple can be a great team, a great family, and great friends. i am married to my best friend. but from the very beginning he knew my proclivities towards women. i love them, i want to love them and make them feel special and exhalt them in my way. dave understands this, and this is why we work. the fact that i found a man to espouse instead of a woman is really a matter of happenstance. the one i finally settled upon was a man.
on a scale of 1-10, 10 being strictly gay I would probably be like a 9.5..I dont know, I just think it would be really awkward to have sex with a woman.
i think the thing about the kinsey scale is that it is a moving scale: it's a continuum that ebbs and flows. and, like hipunk says, it's not entirely about 'who do you find sexually attractive and who could you sleep with?' it's more about 'who do you find attractive, or acceptable enough, to have a relationship with?' and this relationship could mean a major or minor relationship. in fact there would be few ppl who are either entirely 0 or 6 (that being the full range) because most gay men have got something of the heterosexual in them to be able to relate to women at all and most hetero guys have enough of the same sex propensity in them to be able to relate to other men in any kind of social sense. the same principle, i think, applies to dykes. there are ppl around who are entirely 0 or entirely 6 but i don't think i know any.
For me, I just develop feelings for people, that I don't really control, and those feelings could be for someone of either gender. Who will I ultimately end up with? Will I want to be with just one person? Who knows, I'm not gonna worry about that. I think it's fine to have partners outside of a marriage, if both of the people who are married know about the other partners, and are ok with it. I don't really understand why bi people can't have a relationship with straight or gay people? Could you explain that hipunk?
You should move california it not much of a hassle if any i find being bi has allowed me to have more insight on sex, and i've been with people who i never been able to reach an intimancy level if i wasn't bi and only went for girls. I think i think you said it before that one hour/day/week i feel "queer" and so i go "queer" and i guess am a "queer" doing "queers" and when i feeling stright i go with girls and so i'm stright doing stright so in that sense your right i think the only time the two feelings meet is when i see tansexual (in porn i've never seen a tansvestite) i guess i attracted to both sexes but i do notice when i feeling gay and when i'm feeling stright in both respects when i'm in dances like where people know me i do go stright not to shake the water so it is useful
I am 100% gay bottom and have 2 bi lovers and neither think they are "cheating" on their wives. Why ? - becaue they aren't "doing it" with another woman - it is a quicky lunch time or right after work trist - no chance of an unexpected pregancy - no chance of the jealous woman creating a scene when accidently running into each other in public doesn't cause any friction. The men know they have the best of both worlds.
I'm sick and tired of the stereotype that bisexuals NEED to be with both genders. And a bit offended that one would suggest that bisexuals should only date bisexuals. I am a bisexual male. What does that mean to me? It means that I can find love in either gender, but not necessarily both. I'm in a committed relationship with a heterosexual woman. She satisfies me completely in bed, but I don't think one's sexuality necessarily applies to the bedroom. I still find men attractive, but it doesn't mean I have to have them. When it comes to my attractions towards other people, gender doesn't necessarily play a role in who I choose as a significant other. It's what's on the inside that counts. So I'll date whomever I please, gay, straight, or bi. If you preferred blondes, but ended up with a brunette, would you think it's okay to have a blonde lover on the side? Probably not. Which is why I don't think bisexual should use their sexuality as an excuse to cheat.
It seems like the big issue in this discussion isn't so much bisexuality as it is fidelity. Before you commit to a relationship, it's wise to be very honest and open about what you seek and what you offer. If you don't want a monogamous relationship, don't get involved with someone else who does...and vice versa.
I posted this response in another thread but if fit's here too. I'm bisexual (and always have been) and the difficult thing I've found is sustaining sexual interest in long-term relationships. For instance, I'm in a relationship with a woman and we've been together for just over 4 years now (we live together). I love her and we have great sex but at this point, I'm ready to have sex with a guy again. I'm starving for it. She knows all this by the way and is understanding but isn't cool with me having sex with anyone but her. So basically, if I want to keep our relationship in-tact, I have to just stifle my desire for men... which isn't working. I don't want an "open" relationship so I've suggested swinging with other bi couples (there's plenty out there) but she's not at all interested. So here I am in an otherwise great relationship with a woman I love, but it's potentially doomed because I feel compelled to express my bisexuality. It's a shame because we've both invested a lot into this relationship. If she was open to swinging once in a while, I know I could be happy with her forever. But this sex-with-one-person-only thing for the rest of your life isn't for me.
definitely a 6 for me on the kinsey scale. I've never been with a woman, and the idea of it just doesn't quite cut it for me. some people have told me that everyone on earth is bisexual, and can't be for one gender only, but I have never been able to look at even the hottest, barbie-doll girls and think any kind of erotic. But if I look at even a slightly cute guy, I'm horny almost instantly. I personally think having sex with a chick would be absolutely the most unsatisfying, unpleasurable experiece ever, but then again, I really shouldn't knock something until I've tried it....only problem is: i have absolutely no interest in trying it lol....
3.5-ish I should imagine - curious....but yellow. Also rather unfortunate - the one occasion I indulged lately wasn't all that terribly fulfilling. I think I may just take a vow of celibacy
What you are describing is a form of segregation. Sure it would be easier if us bi people only played with other bi people but I don't see it as realistic or fair. At any given point in time it is entirely possible to be attracted to anyone within the gender or sexual preference. To attempt to limit yourself to only people that are bi would deny many possibilities. Besides how are you going to know. In spite of the fact that I have often thought about wearing a tag or something so others would know I'm bi let's face it pwople really don't come with identification tags like that. It does piss me off when someone is on the down low. It pisses me off much worse when someone is so low down that they won't admit it to other queers. There's a couple I know who both came onto me but neither of them considers themselves queer. At least one of them would have to be. I quite hanging out with them.
right now i am in a "straight" relationship with my best guy friend, and i can't imagine life without the cock, but in my mind, love knows no gender. i have cared very deeply for people of both genders and i really don't have a preference.... gotta say though, there is something incredible about the female body.
if you want to find sex friend and feel happy like i do go here -->> http://adultfriendfinder.com/go/g822271-ppc enjoy it.
