lets do simalies

a poster above you thread

simalies (did i spell that right)? have long been the backbone to good literature, they add flavor to the moment or the feeling, giving the reader something they can relate them too. my favorite one of all time has to be , silent as... the grave, from dickens scrooge.
so i was thinking that with so many talented folks here we could have fun with these, a poster above you thing yaknow? for instance if you were to say " for my dog, taking a bath is like",, I would reply.. " doing a goth chick, kinda spooky but it feels good"
ok so i will start

the ride was as bumpy as...

 

The ride was as bumpy as... Paris Hilton's bedsprings.

The day was as hot as...

 

...that girl you have had your eye on

the floor was hard as...

 

the girl i have my eye on gets me

your momma as fat as

 

...Nebraska.

Your armpits are as smelly as...

 

camels

Your house is as nice as...

 

...having malaria....

my ass is as wide as...

 

the truck I'm driving.

My music is as loud as...

 

my music is as loud as.......my bed squeeking last night.......


My toe tastes like.........

 

...anthrax.

the cucumber was as long as...

 

an equally long dog turd


the day was a hot as...

 

me and my boyfriend when left alone in a room...

....my dog has a bone asbig as

 

White Scorpian's cucumber.

My hair was wild like...

 

The African Savanah.

My coffee was like...

 

....the night, so black and like love, so sweet.

The postman looked as exhausted as...

 

...the blonde who did the Indianapolis 500 sex marathon.

My arse is as hairy as...

 

my back...

I rocked like...

 

.... a rolling stone...?

(uh... i actually don't quite see how some of these are similes...)

She was as pale as....

 

an albino whos just seen a ghost

it sucked as bad as...

 

a crackhead with lockjaw

My nose is as big as...