how long without contact before you call it quits?

I know it's different for a new relationship vs an old one, but if you aren't given any notice of your partner leaving on a trip or being away from the phone for some reason, how long before you start worrying? Before you call your relationship done with?

I ask mostly because I've started into a new relationship with someone (his idea, he asked me to be his girlfriend) and he hasn't called me in a while. I'm getting more and more annoyed with each passing day and I'm wondering how legitimate my upset-ness is compared to others. arg.

 

"Days" justify worring/finis.
Your "upset-ness" is legit...

Tonight's two bits,
A

 

i'd say it's his loss. unless you're okay with him acting like this, i'd say it's over.

ps, if you let him get away with it, he'll do it again.

 

I'm going to agree with nimh on this one.

 

yeah, I'm gonna agree with nimh too, unless he has a damn good reason, this is going to repeat itself and you prolbably don't want to sit around and wait for it.

 

Why haven't you just called him if you wanted to get together and do something or talk? Why would you dump him because he hasn't called you, yet you haven't done the same thing? I mean I can't imagine why someone would go to all of the trouble of asking someone out then just doesn't call or anything. Sounds weird to me. I'd call him and see what's up. Maybe he is waiting on you. Don't see why you would just dump him or assume the relationship (if you can call it that) is over because he hasn't called in a few days.

 

I did call him before, after he'd asked me to be his gf.... he didn't ahve my number at the time but I had his, so I called him a couple days after he asked me to be his gf to see if we could do something that weekend. He said he was pretty busy (we compared schedules and he was legitimately busy) and said that I should call him or he'll call me or something. yeah, 'or something', hrm. I'm gonna call him thursday if he hasn't called me, that'll be over a week since we last talked (however briefly)

 

that's really bizzare, to ask a girl to be your girlfriend and then not call her, really odd. I think before dumping him talk to him about it, but if it was me, my mind would be halfway made-up already, and like I said before, unless he's got a damn good reason (like being in traction) then homie don't play that.

 

hmm that is weird... in my own experience that would have done been over already... if nobody calls the other in over a week, there's usually not enough interest to continue on, in my opinion anyway, so yeah, i would have said bye by now. i would call him though, just to see what happened. i have a friend who dated a girl who totally put the moves on him and he wasn't too interested but they ended up "dating" anyway, and then he would try to call her like every other day and get no response from her and finally she called him and apologized but it was already over... she was no longer interested, but at least him knowing made it a little better.

 

Hmmm sounds to me like he is just truly busy. I say call him again and see what's up and then if he can't hang, maybe tell him that you think that being boyfriend/girlfriend isn't exactly going to work out if you don't spend time together.

 

My boyfriend wasn't calling me very often on the begining of our relationship (and it was his idea to be together too). Once he wasnt calling for seven days! I was desperate! The 8th day I called him with idea to break up. He didnt acctually have any good reason (well, not good for me) for not being in touch, but he apologized and asked me to gave him one more chance which I did (i really dont know why i did it, but thanks God i did).
...Now, 3 years later we are still together and his calling 3-4 times during the day (sometimes even more). We talk lot about his early behavior and he says he wasnt calling because he was very afraid and confused ))))

So, dont give up untill you see what's the problem. Maybe he has a good reason (or he is afraid ) ... Just be honest, tell him what you think about everything.

Good luck!

 

i was in a somewhat emotionally abusive relationship a lot like this a while back. he'd make promises to do something with me, then get drunk or high and completely blow me off. once he even went to australia for two weeks with his family and didn't tell me until he was already there! i would get so mad and hurt and upset, but then he'd always apologize and swear it wouldn't happen again. i'd take him back, and sure enough, a week later we'd be going through the same thing. point of the matter is... give him the ultamatum. either you stop treating me like this because this is how it makes me feel, or we're done. it doesn't matter how much you like them/love them, if they're doing shit like that, the best thing you can do for them is stop impowering it.