I’m 23 (male) and have had four serious relationships (all over a year long). I notice that I tend to lose sexual interest in the girl waaaaaaay before she loses interest in me. In fact, I ended all four relationships because I just lost interest in the girls sexually (it becomes a chore to have sex, but I’m a good actor so I pretend I’m into it). Usually I lose interest after about a month, followed by a few months of tepid interest, followed by complete lack of interest (and sometimes aversion). This is a key point: I usually cheat on the girls (because I remain phenomenally attracted to other women) and constantly fantasize about other women. I feel like my ideal situation is to be with a woman for about two weeks and then move on. I know this is fairly normal for males, but I seem to be at an extreme. So, I suppose my questions are: 1. To what extent is this normal (and if it is quite normal, how do people in long-term relationships possibly tolerate it, considering there is nothing on Earth better than novel sex)? 2. Does anyone know of any psychological literature and/or books about hyper-sexuality in males? I imagine it is treated quite differently for males than for females (considering the former is more common in society).
Why does it just have to be about the sex? falling in love with someone, discovering everything about them, that can be just as riveting as having heaps of different partners. I mean it is a trade off, but it's not too raw a deal - you swap the giddy infatuation and lust (which yep, is great) for a higher level of intimacy, which is just as great (more so?) eh, i'm not being very articulate, i guess what i'm trying to say is that imo novel sexs is not the greatest thing on earth. Yep, having sex with someone you find hot and you finds you hot is great, but when it's with someone you cherish and who cherishs you, it's just that much more fulfilling. How you get to that stage i don't know - maybe go for girls you find emotionally sexy as well as physically sexy? Then when the intitial rush fades slightly it can be replaced with a deeper affection rather than boredom.
I don't think you need any worldly insight..you aren't broken. You just haven't met the right person..when you find someone you simply can't get enough of...sexually and otherwise. It will all click.
or he may be the sort that WON'T meet the right girl. i wouldn't delve into any long-term relationships, i wouldn't tell these girls it was exclusive. because you're leaving a trail of man-haters. you gotta look out for your brothers. you are what you are. you're young, you're active sexually, and you're lying to women (probably inadvertantly). try to be more honest about it while trying to figure out your inability to be faithful. or find an equally open female.
at least tell them that you suck at monogamy, give a girl some warning hey. It sounds pretty extreme to me, I mean.... if that same behaviour was occuring in a woman it would cause a lot of people concern. slutty, even. sorry if this isn't making any sense, this cold is making it impossible for me to properly articulate what i'm thinking. I think you need to figure out why you cant stay with the same woman for any period of time, why you're so driven to go out and fuck a new girl. sounds like dangerous behaviour to me, self destructive sorta stuff in the long run
hey tabla tabla how you doing.. can i just offer one bit of advice man instead of going straight for the self help books why dont you try talking to the girl your with at the time and see if you can both work something out.. maybe the answer could lay there hope you work this out man
you should deffinatley break up with girls before you go out and cheat, but, that being said..i dunno man you are young and thats just the way some guys like it. i guess this shoudl be the age where that kind of attitude starts to wear off, so if it persists i'd be a lil more worried about it then i am now. do you fantasize about having a family or wife in the future or do you always see yourself alone out of choice? if its the later, you may not need a long relationship, but it would be nice if you informed your partners of that before or during the begging of your relationship with them, and alert them promptly when you lose interest as opposed to feigning it...it would make both of your lives easier.
i know this bloke who's exactly like you have described yourself. he confessed to me one day that he loses interest in the girls he sees because they dont offer him any kind of challenge. I just think it's a bit selfish of you (and him) to think that way about relationships. This is not about sex only, if it is for you make it clear from the start. Its not about being challenged, as if sex was the ultimate goal to be achieved. It sounds really inmature and selfish. You might want to be more honest with girls you date in the future, or someone will come and rip your heart into thousands of pieces, like it happened to this bloke i was telling you about (long story)
It's very normal. And they're called prostitutes. 2 million American men visit them, each single day.
I don't think your talking about just hyper-sexuallity. Cause your talking more a long the lines of loosing intrest. I understand what it is like being a hyper-sexual male I am one. Hyper-sexuallity is where sex is the greatest thing ever and you want it all the time. But a hyper-sexual male can stay with one partner (though hard) if they want, because they get sex. Sex is what a hyper-sexual male wants not just new people. You've got a relationship thing going on there. And YES! Tell the girls first.
