Funny stories from when you were stoned!

And you know... I completely understand that, and I am not even slightly high! Having to make a left turn makes me feel like a jerk because everyone has to wait behind me, and if I'm the person waiting, I'm like "hurry up!"
It makes sense!
~Nova

 

K me and 3 other friends decide to go on a college visit instead of school. So of course on the way there we blaze up like 3 blunts and get super stoned. Once we got there we realized that they gave us our excuses to bring back to school the following day. So we ended up leaving after being at the campus for about 15mins. We turned around and went right back home and got home by 11a.m. So we ended up smoking more and drove by the school a few times. Ends up the principal (also my basketball coach) somehow sw us drive by and the next day we all got bitched at. We really dint get in any real trouble but still a pretty cool day.

 

I remember I started tripping once, after smoking some pot. Started seeing smiley faces and cool shapes! lol

 

I went to a party a while back and happened onto some stoners a little older than me. They were rolling a fat ass spliff. I asked if I could hit that and they were kind and let me join in the circle. Soon we were all flying this psychedelic high. We all stood in a line shoulder to shoulder and pissed in the backyard and then we went up stairs to drink and play playstation. I passed out several times, each time waking up in a different place...

At about 3 in the morning, I finally crashed in the middle of the kitchen with a bottle of Smirnoff in my hand. I woke up at about 3 hours later on the couch. My cock was sticking out of my pants and I had a string of man gravy pulled to the side. I sat up to find my host's girlfriend lying on the floor passed out. I zipped up and went outside to smoke the best cigarette and bowl I've ever had.

 

Wow sounds like a good time.
I dont know if its a story but today me and my friend were watching kid's jeopardy and there was a girl with glasses on it and my friend was like "she has to be smart, she's wearing glasses." it was so funny.

 

I can't remember exactly what happened, but luckily I have a habit of calling my friends when I'm stoned. My friend, who is also my dealer, told me that I called her up and was yelling about being chased by a giant cricket, and how it wouldn't leave me alone. She also said that I was talking about how the birds flying over my head were government spies, and that if they saw what I was doing I would get in trouble. After this convo I guess I hung up, or dropped my phone, or something like that. Then she said that I called her a couple minutes later and was asking her if I could go home. She could tell I was still too blazed to go home, so she told me that there was a giant invisible gate surrounding my house. She said that I kept yelling about not having a key, and that I was almost crying. I don't know what happened next, but she said that I called her a third time and kept asking if I had the key yet. She said that I sounded like I was sobering up, and that the gate was gone and I could go home in a little while. The only thing I remember clearly is waking up from a nap in the middle of this field, and wobbling home. This is probably the funniest experience I've had so far. My friend is hooking me up with some purple haze, so hopefully I'll have more to share soon.

 

Today i was baked and i went to my friends garage and hung out with him and then i said "why are you wearing woman's slippers?" and he said "they're not woman's, their mine!" and for some reason i couldnt stop laughing and then i went to a resteraunt and ordered fries and i thought that the lady was an agent in disguise and that she was calling the cops but she was just talking into the ordering phone, and a lumber jack type guy came in and ordered something and i was convinced that he an undercover cop and the whole ordering thing was some code talk LOL i was parranoid at this point!

 

^stupid

 

...too bad pot doesnt make you trip... but ok

 

I remember once my friend was playing with a lighter, and at the exact same time when it made the lighting sound a rain drop came and hit me square in the forehead. With the drop hitting me and the noise from the lighter at the same time, i started to wonder if my friend had shot me! Ha so i asked him in all seriousness, then i realized what happened and we had a laugh.

 

completely...it was the most i'd ever had

 

last year me and my friend were dex tripping, we were just wandering aimlessly around the city. we smoked a joint and went into hoffmans music. my friend handed me a guitar plugged into an amp that had the delay and flange effect on, and the reverb was all the way up. i just improvised forever untill we had to leave, it was fucking sweet. its pretty hard to play on dex.

 

Hahaha some of these are really funny!!! Hmm let's see. Well one incident involves a cockroach flying into someone's hair. She flapped and flailed around like a maniac and then the massive roach eventually flew out and landed on the fridge, thus trapping me in the kitched! I do have a terrible phobia of those bastards.

What else? Oh shit yeah, we had these crazy ass neighbors. We'd smoke outside the bedroom window opposite their bedroom window. (Two story houses). One day the mom, son and daughter all came to window while we were tokin' and started waving. We waved back. They didn't stop. The mother kept waving and going HI!! ... HI!!! Over and over again. While the kids silently waved at us. We were like "ok... we've said hi already.. why the fuck aren't they going away..."
So we close the window and curtain after puttin out the J. Checked to see if they were gone but they were still there! Waving at our closed curtains like psychos... I don't think they were fuckin' with us... I think they were crazy....

 

oh i remember another, we were walking and a man in the towns clocktower yelled to us "what time is it?" because he was updating the clock because sometimes it loses time and i said "your in the town's biggest clock, you know what time it is!" it was pretty funny

 

at my old high school me and my friends could stop the elevator by prying the doors apart while it was going down, when the door opened there was just a wall with a bunch of graffiti on it. we could smoke in there before school. one time we did it and it stopped right obove the door on the bottum floor, we could peek between the cracks on the door and see this jock kid with a cast waiting for the elevator while we were in it taking bong rips.

 

ok so i get home early from school and no one is supposed to be home for a few hours so I decide to toke up. A couple hours later I'm all cleaned up, I've showered, deodorized the house and everything. My mom gets home comes into my room and says it smells funny. I get nervous. She comes back in later and says it smells like smoke! I'm sweating bullets now. She comes back in a third time and says to me...IT SMELLS LIKE POT! I start blubbering then she goes to my window (which was open) and then declares,"it must be the drug dealer neighbours smoking again just close your window" WHOOAAA close call. i go to close my window and before doing so i check outside...its the neighbours kid starting fires around his backyard...

 

nice, very nice

 

Nice to see my thread has caught on very well.

Last saturday I was sooo blazed I can barely remember stuff that happened! I remember me and my friend talking about me staying the night with him and how his mom wasn't going to get anything. I said freak chances happen, so what if I do get to stay the night and your mom gets some Marijuana.

We walk in and she has WEED! So I call up my dad and he says I can spend the night! While I talk to him I'm smoking the pipe lol. So we start toking and this is were everything goes fuzzy. Nothing was super funny, but some things made me laugh hard.

So here is what I can remember.
Me and my friend go walking around the apartment complex and decide to come back to his house. We toke some more and next thing you now we're at his mom's friend's house that live next door.

My friend's mom is crying about something so we decide to go back to her house. Me and my friend are in his room and I look at him. He looks super tall and the walls looked super tiny, almost boxed in. They only looked like this if I focused on him.

So we go back in the front room and my friend's mom's friend that is our dealer and friend also (we'll call him Bob) is sitting at the table with the neighbours and "Mom" "trying" to pack the bowl. So we sit down and chill laughing at stuff. So Bob packs the bowl and takes a hit and says something like, who wants a hit? Or he is just holding it up there.

So the neighbours ain't taking it and nethier is "mom". So I take it (He knows me and my friend toke) and I take a hit from the pipe. "Mom" starts screaming my name and she is kinda mad at me. I think it is because the neighbours don't know I toke or the little kids saw me toking. But I was so blazed I didn't know they were there. I think I remember them saying "Did he just hit the pipe?!"!

Everything is cool and my friend calls Bob into his room to talk about how to grow Marijuana. I get paronoid because my real mom was talking about her experiences with drugs when she was young a few days ago, and about how her friend's Mom tried to sell her to someone, but she didn't get away with it.

So I start freaking out thinking Bob is going to try and rape us, but he would never do that. Plus I was so blazed he looked huge and the house looked very, very small. But everything was cool and we went into the front room to chill.

When I looked at the t.v. the room looked very weird, so I concentrated on the t.v. so the room would stay looking weird. It kinda looked like this.
/\

The room really looks like this when you're not stoned.
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So yea.

But I still feel the after effects of that night, so that means I still feel alittle hung over. Lol, that was a great night!


Happy Toking!

 

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Woops, I messed that up. It looked like a triangle when I was stoned, with the t.v. at the
"point" of the triangle. When you're not stoned it is a regular square.