Hey there, I'm a 16 year old male from Rhode Island and I really need some help. First off, I know you guys probably have to deal with kids like me whining and bitching for help on a regular basis, but I really need some help. I just recently got a new girlfriend, and we've started fooling around and what not. Now I've been with plenty of girls, but they've never performed any sexual acts on me, it's always been me to them. But sometimes I think my new girlfriend is hornier then me at times haha. The other day, yesterday to be more specific, I was giving her oral sex in her bedroom. We've already done that maybe.. 7 times already in our 2 week relationship, so after a little while she rolled me over and said "my turn" and started to undo my pants. Now my problem... I have trouble keeping erections when I'm with her, or any girl. When I masturbate I'm fine, but when I'm with my girlfriend, I'll have an erection for maybe the first 5 minutes or so of me being intimate with her. And in this time i pre-cum a lot, but then I lose my erection. So when she pulled off my pants, I was soft and wet. She didn't seem to mind and just went to work giving me my first blowjob. Afterwards while we were cuddling and talking, I told her that was my first time ever having a girl even see me with my pants off. To my surprise, she told me that was her first time giving a blowjob even though she wasn't a virgin. I found that touching that she felt so strongly for me. So then I told her that i was extremely nervous and that's why I couldn't get hard. She said it was perfectly alright and that "maybe next time." Here's my dilemma... I don't know what will happen 'next time.' I'm not one to think immediatly that something is wrong with me, but If anyone out there has any tips or suggestions as to how I can keep an erection longer during intimacy, I'd be forever in debt. This is a very frustrating problem for me as you can imagine, and I really need your help. Thanks again, Mike
You've been with her 2 weeks and you are already thinking about sex etc. thats quite quick. if it was your first time having oral how did you know that when other girls do it you loose your erection. I'll have an erection for maybe the first 5 minutes or so of me being intimate with her. - i thought you where a virgin!!!!! how does that work then? Right thats enough of me being picky if its true and you are scred of what will happen next time talk to her - tell her you are worried etc. Relax a bit more - have aglass of wine or something, If you have problems getting 'up' go and see a doctor at your age that shouldn't happen, if you can get 'up' but can't keep it relax a bit more, i dunno what else to write i haven't got a penis.
good point, i didn't explain that correctly. haha i think most guys here can vouche for me that you can feel even the slightest erection in your pants, so when im being intimate with her, i can feel myself getting hard. and yes, i am a virgin about the whole doctor thing... i forgot to mention that. my mom caught me and a past girlfriend fooling around once, so if i go to her and tell her that im having sexual problems, yea, she'll laugh in my face (she's seriously like that)
Do you think your relationship with your girlfriend is going to last months? If it's going to last more than like two months I think you should sit down with her and honestly say, I'm having a medical problem because when you touch my penis it goes soft after a while, so please be aware of my situation. Otherwise, if that was the first time she's given you head, how do you know you went soft because you have a hard time keeping it up? Maybe she just isn't particularly experienced orally or wasn't doing it the way you want her to. Show her... say, "I like it this way...". This is likely the case because you said that you can keep it up when you're jerking off. Plus- you can always jerk off into her mouth, too, if you feel yourself getting soft. Other than that, it may be medications you're on [if any] or just pre-game jitters. Try to relax, go slow, and if the relationship doesn't seem worthy of putting yourself on the spot by admitting a personal problem like that, just tell her to lay off the head for a while until you better understand where the problem is coming from. Hope any of this is helpful. Let us know how it's going. P.S. ~ Don't say anything to your mom. Talk to your doctor next time you go in for a check up/ etc, and ask him/her to keep it private.
Before we started going out we told each other we wanted a serious relationship, one that was last a long time. We're just compatible on so many levels, I don't want something like this to mess it up. I didn't go soft when she touched me, i gave her oral for a good 15 minutes, and within the first 5 i went soft. I'm hoping its just because im nervous, which it probably is, its just my male side thinking somethings wrong with me. i appreciate your positive thinking, glad some ones on my team EDIT: I'm not on any medications/drugs/alcohol, never touched any of that crap, except for like Motrin when im sick lol
Well, that's good! Best of luck in the relationship, too. It's good that you have someone to be close with! Oh, if you got soft while giving her head, then don't worry. If you just don't like doing it, then that could cause the problem... plus you aren't really getting any attention yourself so it would be understandable that you went limp. Sometimes my boyfriend goes soft when he's working on me, but I don't think anything of it... it happens. That is completely understandable. And hey- no problem! Glad to be help.
You're just used to your hand doing the work. Stop jacking off for a while and you should be gold. In the foreplay leading up to the blowjob think about your old school librarian or something until her lips touch your cock. Then its on like Diddy Kong!
haha interesting theory lodog, glad a guy jumped in with some advice lol. Misty, i love giving her oral, but i think your right about lack of attention, thats a good point...
Yea - when I am giving oral sex - I get into what I am doing and always go soft - It comes back up when it is my turn. In addition, you are not having sex under the best of conditions. You have said you were caught once. You guys probably do not have a lot of privacy. Also, as I strive to remember through the mists of time I had problems keeping it up when I first started having sex. It was just nerves. However, remember the suggestion from the above posts. You can always ask your doctor to speak with him alone, and then ask him whatever question you have. When your mom jumps you about what you asked, say you were asking him how you could stop thinking about sex so much. Be sure to act embarrassed and let her drag it out of you. Then she will feel like your being a good little lad. God what is wrong with parents that do things that make their kids not want to talk to them.
so your saying that it was just nerves? after she was done going down on me, i have never felt so lightheaded and i was literally tingling so much all over, especially my chest and head.
Mike, one thing's not quite clear here. So, when she gave you the blowjob, are you saying you were soft the whole time? Or did it get hard when she started sucking on you? I am pretty positive you don't have a medical problem, so don't worry about that at all at this point. You're just nervous and anxious. I've gone through all that many times. You'll get over it. I remember when I first met my wife before we were married. I was totally hard when I helped her undress, then I went down on her and did oral till she had a big orgasm. At that time I wanted to fuck her, but my dick had gone soft. It was really frustrating and kind of embarrassing. So I just moved up toward her face and stuck it in her mouth. She knew what to do. She started sucking, and really soon it was hard as a rock. Before I came, I pulled it out and put it in her pussy. It was great. She was so good in bed I knew I wanted to get to know her better. Another thing you might could do that would help, is have her keep her hand on your dick at all times, playing with it, masturbating it, etc. That works especially good when you're giving her oral. If she's doing stuff to your dick with her hand at the same time, you'll probably stay hard. Actually, it's a fine line there though, because you don't want her to make you cum too quick, so if her stimulation of you gets too much, stop her hand right away. Otherwise you might be cumming all over her hand. But she could help a lot keeping you hard. Sounds like you've got a great girl there, very understanding. I think she's a keeper. You'll be fine.
