Lousy libido

Yeah, so I totally have no idea what my problem is but I don't have much of a sex drive. I get horny once a week, sometimes every other week... depends. I would think that at 22 years old I would want to be boning my boyfriend 3 times a day, but its not at all like that. Sometimes he has to remind me that we haven't had sex since X amount of days because its just not something I think about.:& Sometimes we even argue about the frequency of sex. Don't get me wrong, I love orgasms, but it takes so much effort to get me in the mood. Once I'm going though, I have a great time.

Is it common for young women to have low sex drives? What IS a normal sex drive? Anyone know of any good websites on the subject?

 

you sound like my gf. it has definitely caused friction between us. i don't have any real great suggestions, sorry.

 

You have the exact same issue as my girl. It causes friction between us sometimes also and i don't want it to, cause its actually the only thing we ever argue about. I don't like to give her a hard time about it and i try to do my best not to bring it up but she is the sexiest girl to me and i really do want it all the time. Maybe if you just try to be a little more conscience of it and initiate it rather than giving him a chance to initiate first the next time your together(even if your feeling it or not) it will make things better. He just wants to know that your thinking about him the same way he is thinking about you. You can tell him all you want your interested but without showing him, its sometimes hard to get past. In answer to your question, some girls just aren't horny and don't think about those things and others think about them too much. Your just different and may need to try harder to think about it, could just take practice, telling yourself you want it or fantasing on your own, like anything else can't hurt to practice

 

Happens in men, too.

At least girls don't get asked if they're gay 24,0000 times a day

 

I have the exact same problem, only im only 18. Im reallly glad to hear about someone else like this.... I know exactly what u mean. I dont think about it either and my bf is alwasy complaining..and yeah its good once i get going but idk...i still feel like something isnt normal... I was planning on going to the doctors and ask her about it in a couple weeks

 

women don't get asked if they're gay all the time because it's just assumed we dont' like sex as much. if we do, we're pretty much disdained as nymphos or sluts.


as for the sex drive thing, everyone's is different. if it's so different between the two of you, it may mean that this relationship just isn't the right chemistry for y'all.

 

LOL So true!

 

Try making love instead.

 

I hear ya! Sex is really hard for me, i all seems to take so much effort, warming up and all... and then you think about how hard its going to be to have an orgasm, and by that stage, it all seems so unachievable that you just don't want to do it.

 

Yeah but you still kiss and have fun in other ways often even if you don't have sex all the time right? I actually would love to just fool around a lot. Rub noses and kiss her neck and hold her in my arms lay together and oh god I'm going crazy. I need a woman.

 

That's BS , I know a girl who is absolutely faithful but likes sex prety much all the time - the only thing all the men around her wonder is why arent there more like her.

 

are you on anti depressants? they really messed with my sex drive when i was on them.

 

anti d's can definately do it. but the older i get, the more of a sex drive i get. i didn't have a very high sex drive when i was 22.

 

yeah, if she's in a relationship. she can fuck herself raw if she's in a relationship. but the standard perception of women who enjoy lots of sex is a negative one.

 

why are women always made to believe that they are the ones with the problem when they can't get an orgasm? maybe it's a question of whether or not you're with the right person, and not so much if you have a low sex-drive.

totally off-topic, but girls, try rubbing your clit...it always works for me i almost believe that women are trained to think that a clitoral orgasm is "immature". to me, the vagina is a hole and i don't have a "g spot". i mainly orgasm from my clit, and that's fine with me. i like being filled, don't get me wrong, but my clit being stimulated in just the right way always makes me have multiple orgasms.

 

absoutely. and practicing on yourself in general makes for better sex. how can your man know how to get you off if YOU don't even know how. figure out what WILL turn you on, too. it's a handy thing to know.

 

I'd give you some of mine...

But then I'd have nothing to do all day.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. Its nice to know there are other young women out there who have the same issue.

To those who said "try making love" or "are you with the right man?"... I don't think thats the issue here. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. Yeah, sometimes I miss being single and we have our occasional fight, but who doesn't in a relationship? Anyone who's hit the 2 year mark in a relationship knows there's a "comfort" zone after being with someone for so long. In short, it's me ..not him.

Anti-depressants. Good call. I don't take any pills but I am somewhat of a pothead. Maybe thats whats doing me in...

Who knows.. I just can't wait until I'm 30 and hitting my sexual peak and he's asking ME to stop groping him all the time. hehe

 

that may also be a problem. i've had several long term relationships, and they do tend to dampen your desire for each other. it's just the length of partnership. you've moved into a different focus in your relationship. relationships are just about sex.

and i'm 30. i've hit no peak. i think that perhaps comes with the increased testosterone of the perimenopausal and menopausal phase...

 

once a week!!!!! low libido!!!!!! my hubby would love it if that where the case with us, try 5 times in 10 years and then thats only with me crawling up the wall trying not to! yeah i know i need help, we are working on that one! to be honest i just dont see myself in the same way as he does, self esteem low? sure is, and it doesnt seem to matter how many times he tells me that im beautiful, well i dont know where he is looking but my mirror doesnt say that to me