Funny stories from when you were stoned!

All i have to say is watch this video, if you lvoe family guy and your high...your gonna luagh your ass off!! http://www.mycrazyvideos.com/video_family_guy_206.html

 

I've seen that clip a dozen times, but it's funnier everytime I see it.

 

went to an Audioslave concert recently and i managed to smuggle in a cigarette pack full of joints. a couple of my buddies didn't want to smoke because there were too many ushers and cops patrolling the area but i decided to light up anyway. things go well until one dumbass friend just stands up takes a huge drag and blows it at a couple of cops and 3 ushers talking. needless to say they noticed us came over, shined their flashlights at us and one cop said,"i hope you brought enough for everybody son cause this is one kickass concert" so we smoked up the cops and ushers and had an AWESOME time.

 

It's always nice to know that there are cops that don't reject weed just because the law tells them to.

 

^^ yes yes it is

 

The funniest stoned thing to happen to me was with my friends at this girl's house. We were "babysitting" these 9 and 11 year old kids. Now the parents were really good friiends of my friend, and it was their going away party, because they were moving. They all walked to the bar down the street, and left us a ton of alcohol, telling us to have a good time and drink whatever we want (I kid you not!!). So we played with the kids for a while, and acted all responsible, then put them to bed, drank some, and smoked abou 3 bowls. The parents and all their friends came home soon after, got on our case because we hadn't drank very much alcohol, and started to continue their party there. We left, and while we were leaving there were these old men in the driveway going down the hill on the little boy's bicycle.They told us that they wished they had babysitters "as hot as us" when their kids were growing up. It was hilarious to be baked around so many 30-45 year old adults who were having a crazier time than us!
~Nova

 

Alright it was me and my two freinds and b/c this was a while back we were smokin outa a pop can. Between the three of us we smoked 2 nugs the size of half dollars. keep in mind it was pretty sticky shit but when we got done smokin tj went to sit on a big rock like 3 ft high. and then he fuckin passes out and falls into a pricker bush lmao and gets thorns in his cheeck and dosnt even know it haha

 

me and my other 2 freinds zack and tj were smokin outa a pop can but only b/c that was a ways back and i had nothing else. but we smoked 2 nugs each the size of half dollars and needless to say we were really high. so tj decides to go sit on a 3ft high rock and relaxe. well then he passes out and his fat ass fall into a pricker bush lmao he had thorns in his face and didnt even know it

 

srry for double posting it wsnt an accident cause im new

 

My happiest memory was when i pulled over a car with 4 people inside it. I immediately noticed the smell of marijuana when i approached the drivers side of the vehicle. Then, unexpectely, the passenger on the other side opened the door and proceeded to run out of the vehicle. Hahaha, he thought he could outrun me because of my medical wieght condition, but i shot him in the back 3 times because it looked like he had a gun which was really a quater of an ounce bag of marijuana. I tell you the look on the faces of his friends still gives me an erection every time i think about it

 

Bah, bastards posts got deleted. Now my reply is in reply to nothing.

 

That is one of the funniest clips i've ever seen. I laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes.

Anyways my favorite memory took place a few months ago.

Me and my friend were pretty baked. I dont remember how much we smoked but hey who cares. We were leavin his house around 1 or 2 to walk to my house which is like a half mile from my house. So we leave his house and walk to the end of his driveway. So he starts gettin paranoid and shit. I live in WA so it was POURING rain. Just a fuckin downpour. So i saw a car coming and didnt think much of it just started walkin out, and he's like 'wait dude, those look like cop headlights' so i was like oh shit, and we got back in his driveway and waited for it to pass. It turned out it was just a jeep. So he's like dude lets just go wake my mom up and have her give us a ride. Now his mom's cool and shit with us smoking. She's actually my dealer, but back to the story. And I was like no dude we arent waking your mom up. So we started walkin in the rain. I light up a cig and start walkin. Now i just started smokin and got a nicotine buzz so my body felt really heavy. So i relaxed my walking so it was more comfortable and i guess i looked like a retard cuz my friend looked at me and was like 'wtf are you doin'. The walk ended up taking alot longer than it should have. Or my time perception was completely thrown off. Anyway we got to my road and it kinda loops around. And every now and then i would cut through their yard when i was headed to his house cuz i'm lazy. So we decided to cut through the neighbor's yard and when we got over his hill of beauty bark there's gravel and then there's grass. I decided to take the gravel way but my friend decided to go the grass way because its quieter. So i get passed the gravel and was like dude come on. And so to get out of their yard faster he decides to run on their paved driveway. So in his process to make less noise he slipped and fell on the pavement and ate shit creating more noise. And after that we got to my house and all was well.

 

OW! He ate the pavement? That must've hurt.

My friends and I have some running gags that we do all the time when we're stoned. I don't have any good stories, but we have little things.

One time, we were all driving in my friends truck and we wanted to change the music. I burst out loud saying "How 'bout some vintage Metallica??" My friend Tony immediately says "How 'bout NO??" We all cracked up.

Another thing we do when stoned is my friend Keegan, at completely random times, says out loud: "MATT...DAAAMON!!" We all crack up everytime.

Another time, Tony (stoned) points out that everytime Keegan breaks up weed and packs a bowl for Barry the Bong he always crouches down, concentrates intensively, and licks his lips like crazy. It's like watching a hummingbird. So Tony says "This is why Keegan never gets girls, he does this [licks lips rapidly]"

Another is the time when I was stoned and decided to pack a bowl with some tobacco from a strawberry Phillies cigar. So I light it, the smoke fills up, and I immediately feel a HUGE drop in my body weight. I was like "Oh SHIT! I got too high!" I fall to the ground, spiraling in my mind, and begin philosophizing about random things. I said "Why is the traffic system biased against left-turners? Our left-turners are being oppressed!"

That's all for now.

 

That was some funny shit. I think I'll read it again.

 

Yeah i think it did but i still pitch him shit about it.

 

this is the best i can come up with cause i always forget a bunch of stuff when i get high haha, this is exactley as i remember it

Im smoking, next im at home on the computar and i get frustrated while trying to type and drink a smirnoff for some reason, then im like a quarter of a mile away from my house wondering how i got there and then i look at my hand and im holdin pizza and then i was happy again, then my mom pulled to the side of the road in our car and asked me if i wanted a drive i said no, i think it was raining and it turns out i was close to my friend's house, i check to make sure his dad's not home, cause hes a cop, and i go in and eat all their crackers and play video games, and when i left i look down and i was wearing my friends shirt with his band's logo on it,

i think thats how it went when i get a little high i forget evrything but when im baked i remember it all

 

Damn I cant remember anything let me think a little bit...

Well I thought of some stupid shit ive done... I put the wrong end of the blunt in my mouth once and in haled ashes all in my throat...

Thats all i can remember, I know we have a shit load of funny stories but I cant remember any of them... if I do I will put them on here

 

Oh man I remembered something I came up with. Like an idea to shit, its not really funny tho but here it is.

On the road Red means stop, green means go and orange means caution, thats why the break lights are red, its like a traffic light that is constantly in front of you keeping you from going faster, and the front lights under the head lights are orange, meaning caution, the blinker is orange meaning caution... its like red signifies that if we go past it we are going to get caught by the cops, and green means its safe and cops wont harm us... lmao its stupid and fucked up and I dont know how i came up with it...

 

I got another one!

My friends and I got some Northern Lights one time and we were ripped out of our minds. We started talking about cereal brands (including the oppression of the Trix rabbit) and Cookie Crisp comes up. Keegan just yells out, perfectly imitating Chip the Dog, "COOOOOKIE CRISP!! IT'S COOKIES FOR BREAKFAST!!" We started howling like hyenas!

 

i dont remember cookie crisp