I'm 22 years old and am about 7 or 8 months into my first serious relationship and we're crazy about each other. About a month ago I was opening my a file on my computer to show her and forgot I had some porno stashed in the file...she saw it and just got pissed!!! like she said it was seriously degrading and offensive to her that I could look at other girls naked (she has some big self esteem issue's) and that she thinks less of me now because of it and says she really doesn't know if she can get over it. So I don't have any porn anymore, don't look at it at all. she does catch me checking out other girls though which I try not to do but girls are just all so pretty, I look and don't even know it.......so now she thinks i'm just settling for her until some better looking girl comes along and then I'll ditch her, which of course is not true....... I don't know what do you girls think?
she has every right to be pissed off at you and thinking what she is thinking. I have been going througha similar situation for the past 15 months. my sexlif with my fiancee has been going down hill and now its nonexistant cuz all he does is watches porn. now he doesn't even bother with me. i beleive that porn is degrading especially to a girl that has serious selfesteem issues. what you need to d is reinforce to her that she is the only one for you and that no othe girl could match up to her (or something similar to that) and explain to her why you do look at porn.
Not to sure about the porn thing, porn affects everyone and every couple differently. I'll agree with fallen fairy that your g/f has the right to be upset, but I'd say you have the right to your freedom. You'll have to come to some sort of understanding that you both feel good about. If she is really affected by your porn viewing, and you truelly want to be with her, give it up.(as you have) But looking at other women on the other hend is TOTALLY HUMAN. I definatly try not to look when I'm with my wife just cuz its kinda disrespectful to do when she's at my side. But when I'm alone I look! I look a lot! My wife knows and even encourages it, and I encourage her to look at other men (or women too for that matter :X ). There are so many different colors shapes sizes of people, how can anyone be expected to truelly have eyes for only one? Love only one maybe, but beauty comes in many forms. I hope your g/f dosn't try telling you that she never looks.
Poke out your eyeballs..immediately. This is the only way this relationship will ever work out...hehe Okay, sorry...just kidding. You're only human..you can't help it that you look at pretty girls. I don't see anything wrong with porn either, just as long as it's not giving you a warped view of how she should be in the bedroom. That's my only bitch when it comes to porn. It can be a little bruising to our self esteem thinking we have to measure up to the pros in the porn industry..lol Just make sure she knows how important she is to you, and I mean constantly reassure her if she has self esteem issues. If she don't get it, then it's her problem...not yours.
Oh geez, yes you should burn for looking at porno... pfft, you are human, if she thinks differently of you cause you had some porn on your computer, then she is the one with the issues and she shouldnt make you feel like you did something so horribly wrong.. please, thats just stupid. She has issues about herself and shouldnt make you responsible for that.. Porn is nothing more then entertainment and something for someone to look at so they can do whatever...not a big deal.. But she shouldnt lay her issues at your doorstep and make you feel like a horrible person...
Just put up with her for as long as she'll stick with you. She's wrong, but shit, isn't it nice to have her around to play with?
yeah, thats pretty wierd. i understand people not liking porn or whatever, but who really fucking cares? unless you're watching girls actually being raped or forced into it, it's all a bunch of adults making up their own minds about what they want to do. if she is so self conscious that you can't even look at or think about another girl, she has some major problems and personally i wouldnt stay with her. thats just way too much jealous, controlling, unhealthy attitudes. seriously, take toolmaggots advice haha sorry, i know things are different when you care about someone or are in your first real relationship or whatever...but seriously...you can't look at other girls? do you even realize how fucked up it is that she thinks that way?
Being an extremely open-minded person when it comes to relationships, I think your girlfriend is being completely irrational and unreasonable. You're committed, not blind, afterall. I suppose I can understand where she might feel like she doesn't amount to the girls in porn, but you should explain to her that you still find her way better than any of those girls. Is your sex life okay? As long as you don't focus all of your sexual energy on masturbation and porn (unless you guys abstain from sex), then there's nothing wrong with it. Her having self-esteem issues could open up a lot of problems in your relationship. I applaud you for handling them for as long as you have, a lot of people can't handle constantly having to make someone feel better about themselves. I had self-esteem issues for a very long time and I lost a lot of guys that way. I'm not exactly sure how you can make her get over them, but self-esteem issues can eventually turn into a little subtle way of controlling you. Jealous, controlling people definitely don't contribute to healthy relationships. Maybe you guys should see a counselor together, because if she doesn't get over her self-esteem issues, chances are good, you'll both be miserable. If she thinks less of you just because you had some porn on your computer, then she has some major issues. That doesn't make you who you are. You definitely need to take a step back and decide how much more serious you want this relationship to get. Her extreme fears of you leaving her and self-esteem issues could be a step up to a dangerous obsession. Definitely do some thinking and if you feel it necessary, don't be afraid to end it. It would be better to end it now before things get really scary.
