ok, i have this on another forum, nd its kinda a fanfic bout a band but eh, u tell me i u like it or nor nd whether i should put more on here doschitay-- during a time of russain-american tension the premeir, a soviet supporter, wants to find a way to ease tension with america. finally, he thinks of a way to get americans to like russia once more, a musical group. so he decides to hire Ivan Shapovalov and Elens Kiper to find 2 girls , no matter what it takes... AUDITIONS-- "next," said a very frustrated Ivan, "you know i think these auditions will never end!" "hey, its not my fault you joined the music business" said an equally frustrated Elena who resorted to gum chewing to keep from falling asleep during auditions. "yeah, well, whos next?" "um, lets see, Yulia Volkova" said Elenaas she was going through her list of names. "uh, um, h-hi, im Yulia Volkova and i've decided to sing the song Nevesta, uh is that ok?" asked a small girl with fair skin and short black hair. "yes, yes, sure whatever," said Ivan who was getting a little fidgety because it was almost his vodka break and as she was singing he was blown away. "you've got the job!" "oh god, really!? i can't wait." blurted Yulia "now, Yulia, we've found someone earlier, so here she is, Lena Kat..." but before Elena could get the rest of her words out yulia blurted out "oh my god! Lena, what are you doing here?" "uh, you two know eachother?" asked Ivan who was becoming delerious from lack of vodka. "yeah" said Lena, "we were very good, uh, 'friends'" "you mean you guys were a couple?" asked Ivan "well, yeah, kinda" said Yulia "hey, this just might work" Elena says, "Ivan, you know how the Americans are fasinated with the whole girl on girl thing?" "well yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?" "don't you see or are you too dense to seewhat i'm getting at. This just may be what makes us popular in America. Now just what to call it, well nevermind, we can get to that later, now you two go get some rest." said Elena "so when do we come back?" asked Lena who had noticed Ivan take out a flask and pop a straw into it, to hold him over until he gets his hands on a bigger bottle. "well, how 'bout tomorrow, we need to talk to the big boss to see what we need to do next." said Elena "ok, fine, see you tomorrow" said Yulia LATER, AT THE KREMLIN-- "...so we found two girls to fill the spots and they seem to have had a very good, um, friendship, so I was thinking this just might work." explained Elena "you know, this girly couple just might work!" said the big boss, totally disregarding what Elena said "I couldn't have said it better myself" Elena retorted "ok, so whats the name of the band?" asked the boss "we actually never got that far but..."said Ivan "YOU WHAT?! (takes deep breathes), you know what, its ok, i'm still in control and thats all that matters, so the name is now ta-laybit-tu, this girl loves that girl, or short and sweet, tatu, plus those stupid American-pig-dogs will be too stupid to look it up" said the boss "you know," said Elena, trying to kiss butt, "I like it short and sweet" "oh, come-on, quit kissing his ass and shut up" whispered Ivan in Elena's ear
and thus hell was uneleashed on the western hemisphere in the form of the worst band to ever escape the snowy wastes of siberia
so im kinda stuck, do you want more or not? i kno how ur feelin...kinda, mi friends a hippocrate nd she says they suck but then shes like really into them so...wat u want??? winter fang
Yo Tim....keep this story going, it's freakin hilarious! Just because tatu suck doesnt mean stories about them suck
well heres some more: Elena turned her head slowly to Ivan, giving him death stares. 'You know Ivan, what i said isnt that far fetched.' she smacked her gum slowly, still staring at Ivan. 'apart from the 'sweet' remark.' Ivan's face reddened like ten shades. He rolled his eyes. 'Whatever. Anyway boss, tatu is a great name for the group. We'll be going now. Bye.' Ivan snatched Elena up out her seat and ran out the office. When they got outside, Ivan went on a tamtrum fit. 'What's the big idea of discussing my manhood Elena? Right in front of the boss no less.' Elena popped her gum, making Ivan more edgy. 'What manhood? Dont you have to actually be a man to have that?' Ivan jumped at Elena, only stopping before he did something he'd regret. 'Look, we dont have time to argue. We have to get this band together. Let's just go home and write up some songs for the girls, okay?' Elena threw her hands up. 'Fine. Whatever.' AT HOME-- Elena sat at the piano, popping on a new piece of gum. She ran her fingers across the ivories until a tune popped in her head. Ivan looked up from his lyric writing, interested in the tune his girlfriend was playing. 'Hey, dont stop. I like that.' Ivan went over to the piano. Elena kept playing. 'You got anything to go with this?' she asked. 'I think I do. Here's what I came up with so far.' Ivan scooped his papers. Elena played the tune and Ivan began crooning horribly. 'She's a lesbian Im a lesbian and we're both Russian we are both Russian so please like us'.... Elena looked up at him like he'd grown an extra head or something. Ivan was too into his lyrics to notice. He went on with the second verse. 'Girl on girl is fun Loving with the tongue And we get it on every single night Her between my thighs... I need her so mu-uch (Ivan begins to do some odd feminine panting) I am gonna gu-uush!' At this point Elena abruptly stops the piano, shaking her head at Ivan as he gives her a cheesy grin. 'So what did you think?' he asks, obviously proud of himself. Elena blew a big bubble before she answered. 'That. Is. The most TERRIBLE thing I've ever heard in my entire life!' she yelled at him. 'What? What are you talking about? I think those lyrics was the bomb!' Ivan yelled back. 'Yeah Vanya. Go to America with trash like this and your ass will get bombed for sure. That was crap! I wont be the least bit surprised if Yulia and Lena refuse to sing it.' Ivan sat at his desk, pouting. 'Shows what you know. If you think you can do better I suggest you try it.' Elena went to the piano. 'Dont get mad at me cos you cant do shit right. You are driving me crazy! I think I'll lose my mind hanging around you any longer. Hey wait a sec...' She began playing the piano and singing. 'I have lost my mind I have lost my mind....' Elena thought before she kept on, making up lyrics as she went along. I have lost my mind I have lost my mind I need her I need her, I need her... Soon enough, Elena had a whole song patched together. She wrote the lyrics as she created them so she wouldnt forget them. Ivan sat at the desk, still looking like someone beat him up and stole his cookies. 'If you call that a song then you're no better than I am. In fact, I say we bring both songs to the girls and see which one they pick.' Vanya said. Elena shrugged. 'Fine. But dont hate if they pick mine. Unlike you, I thought about their feelings and how real lesbian love should be presented.' 'And how do you know what real lesbian love is? You're not gay.' Ivan crossed his ams. Elena rolled her eyes. 'I've had some experiences. It's a girl thing. You wouldnt understand, you ofigey.' Elena went to the bedroom and prepared for bed. Ivan followed her. 'Well can we at least do something before you go to dreamland?' he rubbed her hips. Elena spit out her gum. 'Something like what?' she asked, acting like she didnt know. Vanya smirked. 'Have some great sex.' he replied, walking right into another insult. Elena yawned. 'Come on Ivan. If I wanted that, I know where my vibrator is. Hell, I can use my fingers even! Besides, we both know you're not capable of giving me that anyway. So just go get your rocks off somewhere. Good night.' Elena rolled over and Ivan smacked his forehead. 'Damn you, woman.' he said as he went off to the bathroom.
