Whats Existing? What the FUCK! is reality

All your comments really did help, I'm now in the process of tuning in to this new expanding energy, feels kind of like riding a wild horse... i still have this small gut feeling, of a sort of painish meloncholy, but in a way it almost feels good, like i can use it to expand myself... but anyway, thank you guys so much... the garden of eden is here man.. we've always been there, we just gotta kick those worms leading our ficitonal territories out.. hey but theyre holding the energy for some reason.. and as long as we realese, nothing can really go wrong.

 

Seriously, meditation is the way to go... Merely clear your mind, and then concentrate on this question. Then, do not stop focusing on it until you exhaust every other answer; and... you shall be left with the one truth.

Kinda like: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

 

Yeah... I'm losing my mind over and over again... hahaha.. I'm so fucked up man, Im thinking so unclearly like "meditationsbwaaa, but i need to love a girl, meditations clear focusss, i like daeth... wheres do i go.. meditation.. im lonley, shshsjbbhome... uh god, meditation i sborning.. hahhaha.. whers ielse is there to go?.. i dunno.. im dead.. im freaking onut, i need a girl... blah blah blah blah blody bluie, oh hist i mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... what am i... whayt??/"

 

Just breath slowly, and focus on your heartbeat...

 

The heartbeat in times of turmoil is just as eratic as the soul.
Eric, my brother, let Creator guide you into the Light.
The path will come to you soon enough.

 

okay....

 

Well.. it was nice and calming.. Im going to have to do that alot... i kept seeing this girl though inmy minds eye.. id never seen her before... but i kept letting it drift like a cloud, and it kept coming back...

 

Something I've learned is that the first step towards realizing what you say you "know" you need is to not label anything. No good/bad, happy/sad, or even green/blue/red. Just observe with a quiet mind. Beginner's mind is what its called in Buddhism. From that will come less attachment to things (people included), which is a key step in expanding your understanding and experience of being. Also, I would highly recomend reading Thich Nhat Hanh. Here is a thought that I use alot:

If you can learn to enjoy the ride, then it doesn't really matter where you go.

Don't let the culture we live in beat you down into submissively thinking that somewhere else is always better, and whatever you're doing now is some means to a final end. It's hard, and everyone (guru or not) struggles with it, I know I do on a daily basis. Hope that helps you a little bit.

 

Thats what i realized in the meditation... I need to always remember that... no good bad... no good bad...

 

Hehe, I'm a transsexual; so... I constantly deal with a lot of pressure from society. I learned to let go of all labels... I wouldn't even call myself a transsexual if it wasn't necessary to describe who I am in a word. I am way more complex than that; I enjoy masculine and feminine activities... Through meditation, I learned to let go of all of those pressures to find out what was truly important to myself.

 

the question of existence and who or what is real and what determines real has been on my mind too a long time...so you definitely aren't alone in this quest...know that first. secondly, you're looking toward enlightenment by acknowledging these questions and delving into them. thirdly, here are some movies over the topic that i found VERY helpful, intriguing, and an intellectual turn on:

Waking Life
What the Bleep Do We Know?
I Heart Huckabees

and the essay "The Doors of Perception" by Aldous Huxley is also a good resource.

bon voyage, peace, and keep us posted!

ps...im not at a level on contentment yet...but i have realized that satisfaction is possible, which to me was a big step and took the weight of the universe off me...and i accepted the "dream" world

"I live in a subjective, irrational world. I'm flying around! I'm talking about dreaming in my dreams. It's as if I'm asleep in life's waiting room."

 

Wow thats deep

 

Meh, I just try to live a balanced life... to understand every aspect that affects my situations as they arise. I embrace everything; for denying any of it, leaves you with an incomplete image...

 

Ive seen all those movies, and read that aldous huxley a little bit..

I really have never felt so limitless as I am now.. because of the beginners mind

 

rofl

 

I'm really sorry to hear that. I kind of feel where you are coming from, though..I am still getting over my 'first love' from the summer who we just ended about a month ago..it's still really hard, even from all the time. But, each day it gets a little easier, not 'easy'..but easier. And I've realized you will NEVER 'get over them' but you will heal from it, and I'm okay with that. At the same time it was almost a blessing..I've done so much to rise from it and regain myself and come back to center and draw nearer to myself, it feels really great. It has taught me a lot and through the pain I would never go back..I've done a lot from it, I've really risen..I've got a 4.0, I got the lead in a huge play production, I am involved in so many clubs and theatre troupes, and mostly I'm really happy..what I am saying is, as hard as it is (and as many nights you cry yourself to sleep) take the pain and do something with it, for YOU..then, one day, you'll wake up from a night of crying and......suddenly, it doesn't seem so bad.

 

reel-all-it-y, iz only and totally watt U now tink it iz arrrr, itz sumthin all rite, sumtin like ah real 2 reel hollywood production, Uh R duh star..

 

I agree u need to stop and calm down. Its not that bad i my self go through phases of what the fuck is going on we have all this potential inside of us infinte potential and most of the people on this planet waste it. You ask urself y. We are still learning and will always be learning. Everyday is a school day. U know what i did? I had enough hated my job where I lived so I thought fuck saved up money and fucked off round Italy Spain Porutgal and Morocco going to a festival in each country and its totally changed my life i think u just need to save up some money and leave. Enjoy the freedom that comes with travelling there are loads of amazing people in the world. I myself think i found my soul mate when i was traveling. Just save up and go and hey if it doesnt work out what the hell... ur still alive with loadz more chances.

Good luck

 

descartes said that to think is to exist. i agree with this.

 

I tell ya... i ask for the answers.. i get em... Oh shit...