Cyber Love With The Bloodninja

I found this posted on a website a while back. Who the Bloodninja is, I have no clue… all I know is that this shit is pretty funny.

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)

DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!

bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja::Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

bloodninja::So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja::I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: Fuck

 

Lmfao....

 

Remind me to cyber with him

 

Here's some more


bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

But my man wasn’t through with Miss Spears… oh no.

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: damn I gotta write down your names or something

HAW HAW HAW!!!

Finally, my man finds himself with a girl who has a fondness for produce…

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.

bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

MommyMelissa: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.

MommyMelissa: …
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

My zucchinis caresses your carrots. Damn, I’ve got to use that line one day

Thanks to whomever Bloodninja is.

 

It's a text file on AlbinoBlacksheep.com. I love that site! Good stuff!

 

omg that was hilarious

 

hahahaha wow, that was good! like orgazmik said, remind me to cyber with that guy! lmao

 

bumpity-bump-bump

 

heh, yeah, that's pretty funny

have you seen the purple prank? it's classic

http://www.zug.com/pranks/purple/index2.html

 

I don't click on links.

 

just google: the purple prank

you'll find it

 

haha thats funny....those people got so angry, loved how one was called, "MommyMelissa" very classy...haha

 

that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while......

 

Lmao! Keep 'em coming

 

that makes me want to mess with people...
i dont understand why people cybersex, you have hand, you have the internet, put two and two together and you get the solution..

 

I read the Wizard one on Albino a while ago, it still reigns supreme as the best for me. "I put on my robe and wizard hat" I still say that anytime someone mentions cybering or sex in general. No one ever gets it, but I laugh to myself, and as long as I'm laughing, fuck everyone else!!

I dont really get cyber sex either...

 

heres my example of cybersex..

sexy69herpes: hi how old r u?
boytoyballsack: im 15 and u???!!??? btw me horny
sexy69herpes: hehehe ur so cutie, im 13
boytoyballsack: kool, how big r ur titties?
sexy69herpes: um, what are titties?
boytoyballsack: ur boobs, how big are ur boobies
sexy69herpes: oh, they are big enough for u, how about your pubic
boytoyballsack: pubic?
sexy69herpes: yea, ur thingy, how big is it
boytoyballsack: um, im done now...byeee

 

this thread looks tired.... I think it could use a bump...


Yes I know i'm a dirty necroposter

 

hahaah im gonan try that shit!

 

I found more a while back, but I forgot where.