Taking your husband's name

Discussion in 'Women's Forum' started by MoonjavaSeed, Sep 25, 2005.

  1. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

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    LOL :)


    Anyway, back on topic...

    Will have to see how it goes and all, but I will probably keep my current surname, for several reasons...

    * At some point in the reasonably near future I will be changing my first and middle name. So to do that but keep my surname would be the exact opposite of what most normal people do. (thus maintaining my excellent track record)
    * Do you have any idea for how long I have fussed and worked to get my name just perfect (trust me I'm pyscho obsessive about such things). The odds of finding another surname that would fit so well are really rather small. And I'd rather not compromise.
    * I'm a writer, and will publish under that name. So it makes sense from a business/career perspective to keep it. Could keep it as a pen name, but that wouldn't feel right, as it's so much more than that.
    * The name links in with my ancestry/heritage. Would feel wrong to just happen to take on someone elses (ie my husband's) to which I've no particular claim. If he were proud of his heritage, well that'd be lovely, but he can keep it.
    * I'm pretty lazy about paper work, so just can't be bothered to go through all that getting it changed stuff (considereding I'd have already done it once).
    * Like think myself a feminist, so yeah go figure.
    * I just like it, a lot, to the point of not wanting to give it up.

    I don't really mind if my future children take their father's name. My brother can 'keep the family name going'.
    Probably wouldn't hyphenate, think that looks/sounds a tad pretentious (just IMO of course) and the odds of finding something goes with Ingram are rather small.

    So yeah I vote keep :)
     
  2. feministhippy

    feministhippy Member

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    I'd keep my name. I like my last name. It's a nice, Irish name. I've had it all my life. I'm used to it. Changing it would be really weird.
     
  3. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    hahaha. we actually have that tradition in my family.

    the girls take first the maternal grandmother's middle name, then the paternal grandmother's middle name. my kids are going to be screwed, since i don't have a middle name, unless you count K. as my first name and C. as my middle name.
     
  4. IronGoth

    IronGoth Newbie

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    How did you end up with "KC" as a name?
     
  5. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    mom was a fan of K.C. and the Sunshine Band....

    well, that's what i tell people, anyway. i'm not really sure. my older brother went by J.B. (short for james arthur brock), and brad was B.D. so, somehow, they thought it would be a good idea. i have a little brother, dalzell, whose name is pronounced DL.
     
  6. FrozenMoonbeam

    FrozenMoonbeam nerd

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    yeah we have a middle name tradition in our family too - on my mum's side, back in the 1800s, the first member of our family to come to NZ was called Leocardia. Her oldest daughter had the middle name Leocardia, as did her oldest daughter after that and her oldest daughter after that and so on.

    But then we get to now. My aunty - the oldest, the Leocardia, only had sons so the name might die out. However, i might be adding Leocardia to my name as I am the oldest granddaughter - and i think it's quite a sweet tradition. I'd like to follow in the footsteps of the strong women in my family who have had that name
     
  7. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    my little sister got my mother's maiden name, turner, as her middle name. i'm not sure why i am the only memeber of my family not named for someone else in the family. maybe my brother's weren't joking about me being adopted.
     
  8. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

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    I'm married. Ive been with him almost 9 years. We married in May 2005. I havent changed my name yet but I will. I don't think it's that big of deal not to. It's kind of an intresting change. Plus we have a son together and I want us all to just have the same last name.
     
  9. sara_rose

    sara_rose Ice Queen

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    i wouldn't mind taking my husbands last name, don't think it's that big of deal :)
     
  10. EarthMama8503

    EarthMama8503 Member

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    I plan on taking Ross' last name. My dad died about 6 years ago, and it only seems natural to me. I think that he would want me to take my hubby's last name. Afterall, I want to be part of my hubby's family and have our kids carry the name.
    Peace, Love, & Blessings!
     
  11. lawngirl

    lawngirl Member

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    i'd gladly change my last name, because i don't have a real connection with the paternal side of the family. my moms last name feels more like my name than my name does.

    the only reason i wouldn't change my last name were if i had done something awesome, with my name on it... like if i published a book, or had my last name as part of a business name (ie: law firms with names like "shultz, smith and williamson," or car dealerships, sometimes).
     
  12. purplemoonbeams

    purplemoonbeams Member

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    I'm not going to keep my last name simply because like someone else pointed out, it feels like everyone is binded together even more strongly when they have all the same last names. BUT, I am thinking about giving my future kids double middle names and the second middle name will be my last name. Their real last name will be the lastname of my future husband, but that way my side of the family is passed down. For example, pretend I marry a guy whose last name is Adams.

    Ophelia Xanthia S****** Adams.
    Theodore Timothy S****** Adams.
     
  13. SunshineLovePeace

    SunshineLovePeace all you need is love

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    I dont really think Im going to get married. Marriage is just a peice of paper and I do not need that peice of paper to prove my love to somebody.

    But, IF I did Im not sure if I would. Im quite proud of my last name. It'd be so strange to have to say/write a different name. Like, take my sister for instance, she STILL (after nearly 2 years of marriage) writes her maiden name on checks/doctors forms/paperwork ect.

    And I know it sounds really shallow, but if the name didnt fit well with my first name I dont think I would either. I dont know, its something I will decide if and when it happens.
     
  14. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    well, my stepson had the issue come up when he was 9 or 10, that he didnt' have the same name as his mother, step-father and little brother. i never thought it would make a difference. it didn't to me, but then i had a coupe brothers with my name. so we were all called in for a sit-down, by little tyler, and had to offer our case on whether or not he should change his last name. eventually he chose not to, and is really happy that he now has a couple little sisters with the same name. but it DOES matter to the little ones. my stepfather wanted to adopt me, early on, when i was still unsure about him and he wasn't getting along with my brothers. i told my mother i didn't want dal's name, i wanted the same name as my brothers. it was my last ditch effort to maintain some sort of family that was familiar to me.
     
  15. sweetersappe

    sweetersappe Member

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    I did not change my name when I married. My step-son has my husband's name, my daughter has my name. I think if we have any more children, they will probably have my husband's name. I never in my life thought I would get married, but it seemed to be something we needed to do for ourselves, but I didn't think it was important to change my name. I think if we have more children, I might hyphenate, but I'm not sure about that.
     
  16. Lazuli Blue

    Lazuli Blue Member

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    I didn't really like my maiden name, my married name is very common though and sometimes I feel nostalgic about my old name.
    I feel bad for my father as my parents divorced when I was young but my sister, brother and I kept our father's name. My brother died a few years ago, and he was the last of the line. Maybe my sister will keep her surname :)
     
  17. FallenDreamer

    FallenDreamer Member

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    Don't know, depends on the guy. Most likely it would be the we live 2gether forever b/c its hard when u don't hav a religion and the gov sucs. So if he wants to, cool. Most likely he would take my name (if thats possible) but hey things change. Not that it matters, guys r really dense sometimes so its impossible to look past the will-he-even-know-I'm-alive-2day thing.:(

    I think I just got really off topic, sry!:D
     
  18. Dariah

    Dariah Member

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    Not sure yet because I haven't been put in the situation (i'm no where near comfortable for commitment right now). But I always assumed I would take my husband's last name. Unless it just didn't fit with my first name. Or like it rhymed with my first name. I don't know if that would be considered shallow me...

    Question: Do men get offended if their wives wouldn't take their last names? I know it would depend on the man... but in general.
     
  19. Megara

    Megara Banned

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    I think i'd be offended if she wouldnt take my last name. At the very least i'd want us to pick a new last name that we can both share. I wouldnt be happy with her keeping her last name or having a hyphenated name. And there is no way i'd let any kid of mine have a different last name than my own.

    Demanding of me? Yep. Then again, marriage is a sacrifice and i'm traditional.

    flame on :p
     
  20. Penny

    Penny Supermoderaginaire

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    when I get married, I know I'll keep my name, Nick's father was an asshole and I love mine so much, besides, if I don't keep my name it'll die, there aren't any men in the family, only 1, but I doubt he'll ever live long enough to get married and have kids. He's a total heroin addict, my cousin.. even if he gets better, I don't think he's the type to get married.
     

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