Hard times

I have been cursed today, I have been mocked, I've been running after people, I've been holding them very strongly, I've used a loud voice, I've been giving warnings and penalties. I feel bad.

Yet one of them was happy and thanked me after the school and I got a new friend. I am ready to hear advices from all how to survive this year helping these little sunshines who try to make me cry everyday.

I told them I'm buying some cool stuff so we can make nice things in the class and I have tried to speak with them with a low voice when solving problems. I love them but it is hard.

Words of wisdom, come to me. At least I now realize the importance of praying. Yet it is hard when I have my own things to solve with God.

Goodknights to all.

 

Peace

 

casue we all know god hates it when we show anger

 

So when your irrationality and threats are refuted, you resort to bribery?
Sounds like christianity to me.
Leave the poor kids alone ~ they'll probably do much better that way.

 

Tough love?

 

"hey, teacher, leave those kids alone"

 

Has anyone of you who answered tried to work in a special class with specially angry and hurted children? Have you ever tried to raise up children or take responsibility of them? Are you just thinking that adults, teachers or parents are really not needed? Wow! You really believe on something. I just don't know what it is. Do you?

I just asked for help and advices to my work. Leave those kids alone is not a propper asnwer, when their parents have already done it with a disastrous results. Has anyone any real words of wisdom or help? I hope some that would include taken responsibility of helping others. Opposite of love is not hate, but to ignore or leave alone, abandon. I do not want to do that, and I just wanted to get help to love. Children may grow to adults without loving people around them, but I don't want to see what they will become. I've seen it and it is usually very cold and hard heart it is left, without anything in mind but to survive. I hope I can give them something else to grow with.

 

You're kidding, right?
You probably tell the poor kids that they're going to rot in hell amongst other christianized threats of damnation -

- and then expect that they'll come sucking after you with gratitude??
perleeeaaase!
Wisdom is for those with ears to hear ~ leave the poor kids alone. God will look after them.
But you, like all christians, don't believe that, do you??
And yes, I for one have and do assist those in need as you derscribe and worse. Your problem begins and ends with your christianized approach. kids from dysfunctional backgrounds need to lnow that they are each valid as individuals, and loved and respected for being so. They do not need to hear some evangelical clap-trap that goes on about sin, sinfulness, or eternal damnation. They need to know that it's OK to be angry because their lives are more crap that yours will ever be. They need you to show you understand that impoverished life forces people into crime and behavioural disorders just so they can survive. But after survival has been ensured, there are new and different ways to approach old and still existing problems.
From the sounds of it you are very inexperienced, and just preaching at them. That is not the way to success. Start with the basics ~ find out about their individuality, how they express it, what their family life is like, what their aspirations are. Work with them, not at them.
Too much to put simply and at the same time describe exactly how (you need the whole manual!!), because you sound so inexperienced and lost.

 

sarcasm, its a joke man

 

To MrRee and others: Are you blind or what? Where did you get all that stuff you wrote me preaching to those children? You just hate and do nothing else, so do not try to answer. Well, there was some answer in your post, MrRee. You said that try to learn the basics, learn to know them, learn how is their life at home. That sort of answers I wanted. That sort of stuff I have already done, but it is not aloud to ask too much from them.

I have never preached them. I have never talked about christianity. I am not even trying to tell them anything about christianity. I'm helping children who has really bad problems in their home and in school. Can you understand?

Only thing why I wrote here was that I thought there would have been thinking people who would have had some good ideas how to get along with kids who try to harm themselves and others all the time. That is why I have to hold them, run after them, sometimes shout because otherwise my voice would not be heard. That is why I was and am troubled. It is hard and I need tools to do my job and to bear all things that I have to face during the day.

But now I have seen that almost everyone here gave me advices to something I'm not doing and did not answer to my questions and to my need. But I suffer you and still ask if there would be at least one who could understand written text. Those who could not don't bother to read the Bible. It needs more than you have I believe: an open heart, eyes to see, ears to hear and will to love, not mock or hate or master someones life.

Waiting to be heard and understood. And thanks anyway to everyone. You did what you thought was right.

 

I disagree. The opposite of love IS hate! That's right.

Anyways, I grew up without any loonies like you, and I love my life. I don't believe in the bible, I don't believe god is responsible for all the good things that happen, but damn! This is a great life!

So...Instead of trying to stab them with religion, get to know them, be friendly, make nice, and don't try and push your dogma all over them. If you truly love them, you will not continue your present course of action, 'cause that isn't love. You love them as a number. A statistic. If you convert one, you'll say "one less person to burn in hell" and be quite satisfied, but that's not love. You can't love a number or a statistic. Only a person.

 

Freaker soup. Don't answer me again please. Read my last post. Are you really that blind that you do not see when I write "I have never preached them. I have never talked about christianity. I am not even trying to tell them anything about christianity."

What is wrong with you people?

 

Vas ist das? Stop trying to be so enigmatic and maybe you'll get more help.

 

sounds to me like you wanted someone to come here and say "good job, keep yelling at those children; be stern" Or perhaps to feel sorry for you.

 

Yeah ~ do what Mrfreakersoup suggested

Your post is absent of critical detail, and because you post in the "christian' forum, it is there to be presumed that you are preaching christianity to the kids!

 

Ok, maybe I was wrong not to make myself clear enough when I first asked help. But I believe that afterwards I made myself clear. I'm not doing my job in a christian school. It's a public school. And I thought it would be clear enough when I wrote:

"Only thing why I wrote here was that I thought there would have been thinking people who would have had some good ideas how to get along with kids who try to harm themselves and others all the time. That is why I have to hold them, run after them, sometimes shout because otherwise my voice would not be heard. That is why I was and am troubled. It is hard and I need tools to do my job and to bear all things that I have to face during the day."

I'm not wanting to hear people say me "good job" when I have had to hold those children fast or had to shout. I said that I feel bad and its hard. Subject was hard times. I'm asking for other solutions from someone who has been in a same kind of situation. Idealistic ideas do not help.

So I'm asking now as I tried to ask before that if there would be someone who would have been in same kind of situations please share me your wisdom. How to get along with those kids and in hard situations? I love them and same time I have to keep them in order so they wont harm themselves and others.

And yes, I'm a christian, so if there are any christian (it sometimes seems there are hear more them who are not) please tell me how you feel when you have tried to love but you have to, at the same time, keep children in control? Sometimes I feel I have not loved, sometimes their happy faces and words tell me that they are happy at last that they have finally found a place where they do not have to be the hard ones who protect themselves, but that there is someone else to protect them from others around them.

But saying that because this is a christian forum it necessarely involves preaching and threathning with hell is narrow minded. So no more advices for something I have not done.

 

An apologize for MrRee. In your post you really gave me advices:

"kids from dysfunctional backgrounds need to lnow that they are each valid as individuals, and loved and respected for being so. - - They need to know that it's OK to be angry because their lives are more crap that yours will ever be. They need you to show you understand that impoverished life forces people into crime and behavioural disorders just so they can survive. But after survival has been ensured, there are new and different ways to approach old and still existing problems.
- - Start with the basics ~ find out about their individuality, how they express it, what their family life is like, what their aspirations are. Work with them, not at them.
Too much to put simply and at the same time describe exactly how (you need the whole manual!!), because you sound so inexperienced and lost."

It was just hard to take it when you blamed me for doing something I had not done: preached and all that. So thanks and I'll try to follow your advices, those I have not already tried. ABout my experinece I have been working with this kind of children for some years. I have experience but to learn new is never a bad thing.

 

If you want teaching advice and advice on children, why did you post in the christianity section? Your posts did not make it clear that you were not preaching to them, and this being a religious forum, one can easily see why people would assume you were. Really, it seems your question has nothing at all to do with christianity. So why post it here? Try the parenting forum, or the education one.

 

I'm awfully glad my children aren't in public school in Finland then. Teachers who yell at children should be fired. Teachers who come HERE for advice on how to do their job should be fired upon.

You might consider a career change, friend.

 

I think I really do not belong to this forum, so sorry for everybody. I write in a too complicated way and I'm all the time misunderstood. I wrote here to get answers also from christians, but it seems that is impossible. I wont bother you guys anymore. I do not say this with bitter voice. I'm just realist. I noticed that my other posts were also not understood correctly, so why to write here.

Still to those idealists who say change job for yelling children: are you yourself that kind of a person that you never yell to anyone? Have you tried to keep things in order in a classroom where children try to hit others and try to get a fight and do not listen to you? If you have and you never yell, tell me how do you keep them in order? How do you manage to teach?

Why I didn't write to some parenting forum? I liked some posts on this forum and I noticed people were able to talk about different things. And I thought that people here would find it ok and a good thing to ask advices from different kind of people. Or do you think you will learn all there is to know about people from some psychology books?