haha more like where to start? Well I have 44 minutes left in my battery, so better get to it. I married woman, under durress, with less than optimal romance/trial time. Things go hairy. Post engagement Pre weddding I was indiscreet with an ex/Freidn with benifits. (We kissed). My now wife was angry, as she should have been. I then had some pretty terrible nick names, and general feeling of unwantedness. Things change, we move. We've moved 6 times in 2 years. We're about to move again. Fuck I say. Okay, let's make that coherent. I've been maried for just about 3 years, and i think it's time to cut our mutual losses and walk. thje problem is my honey is from the south seas, and is now living in my homeland, without family support outside of yours truely. Things started gettting wierd when I had a passionate interlude with an ex when my then fiance was back home. it had been 4 months, I was kind of torn between the two (The ex and I were awesome friends and better lovers). I come clean, a month after the fiance and i get back to gether (in same proximity. Fine. I livethere for 3 months, we start making wedding plans. more, I felt pushed into weding plans. 6 months after moving there, I get married. I return home. She comes alonmg shortly. Fine. Then she starts with calling me names, getting pissed because of what happened with ex a year + before. I do all the house work, and cooking. Right now I'm trying to live out the dream, and complete university. Since comming home 3 years ago we've moved. my schooling ended up loosing a full 3 semesters because of bullshit moves. Serriously, we move any time I start feeling settled. Now, Things are kind of crappy on other fronts. I have lost a lot of sexual interest, mostly because I realy have trouble someone who holds a grudge against me can give two shits and a fuck about who I am or care about me. Yeah I fucked up, if you can;t deal with that dump my sorry ass. Anyways. Now things are getting scarry. Money. I don;t know what the hell she's doing with it. Her cash priorities are way different from mine. I'm a scrub, I get by with second hand clothes, cheap but wholesome foods and simple pleasures for entertainment. She likes big and bigger homes, expensive foods or eating out, and new clothes, housewares, potted plants you name it. We have nothign in common. the only thing we realy agree to do is watch TV. I used to be an athlete, but it's hard to justify 20 hours a week in different gyms to a partner who doesn;t care. She used to be a club girl, I have never been one for drinking, dancing or whatever goes on in clubs. Fine, now things get bbizzare. I am Tired, draained from doing all the house works, dead from having lost so much of my education time, and out of shape from bad living. I turn these things and blame them on her. Bad me. I try to recognise where my fault is in these things, I know she didn;t staple my ass to the couch. I headed north to get some work, and worked my ass off for 3 weeks doing a quick course in nutrition and doing labour work. Fine. While there, I get a phone call. "We're moving" Fuck. Again! An why, well she thinks it;ll give us the space we neeed to wwork on our problems. Three days latter, she shifts the decition making process off of Herself and on to a join decition between her and our roomies. A few days latter, the roomies "wanted" us out, and she agreed. I talked to our roomies, and they seemedd quite genuine when they said " no we never asked you guys to move". I belive them, partly because that fits the firsst story, partly because they are honorable. Okay Fine so now I'm sleeping in a friends basement, with my wife. Our stuff is in boxes, and our money seems to creep away. I am sick, and have been too sick to work let alone get to classes from all the stress I'm under. I have a 500 loan comming in, and just recived 200 from a rebate, and she tells me that we don;t have 650 for rent on the first. Now I'm here basicly to do the right thing. She needs a place to stay, and her only social resources are my friends. her closest fmily is 40,ooo miles away. I miss my old life, and worse, I n olonger have any dreams, I can;t see myself or any goals for myself. I feel fucked, annd worse, trapped. What the hell do I DO? Maybe this was all just a mistake form the start, I think things went sour a while ago, and have just been fermenting since. I need a place to stay, and i need the chance to see what i can do. I feel like I'm faalling behind, like I'm dying in this relaationship, and the onklyu timees I feel joy are away from her. So you tell me, do i pack my things and find another place? do I wait until she/we have the new appartment then take off? Do I do the marriage counceling thing? And how the hell do I make arrangements for her to get home if that;'s what he wants? is it even my responsibillity anymore?
Never stay were you are not wanted - as far as your responsibility for where she lives - that depends, did she leave her country because you asked her to. In addition, did you pay her way to leave? If either is true, I think you have some responsibility. If not I think, she is on her own.
She came here because I couldn't stay there. Fact is we were both well intentioned when things started. She paid her own way over here. Not sure if or how her paying or my paying plays into it. Also thanks for reading the post. It's a mile long.
sounds like it's over to me. keep your money FAR AWAY from her. let her find her way. it was her choice to show up over here even though you showed you weren't faithful from the get-go. both sides fucked up.
Right now I realy have no money left. I pulled what I could out of the account last night, and Today i'm going to try and get another 500$ float. that will atleast provide one or both of us with a place to live for a month. I never thought I'd have a life that sucked so much. yournameismkc I think you're pretty right both sides have fucked up. I don't think either of us are bad people, just very bad for each other. But I think most people who get married when their 21 make a bad choices.
yeah. youthful marriages rarely work out. you're just not ready yet. especially youthful marriages after such a short courtship. y'all are just gonna eat each other up if you don't make a clean break.
Would have to agree strongly with that - also that if she came to you without active help on your part then it is not your responsibility to help her return. It seems that you are going the extra mile as it is by trying to provide a place for both of you to live. Your life will get better as you learn more about who you are. Good luck
since who we are changes, i wouldn't worry about having to get reacquainted. or perhaps more truly know for the first time...did that make sense?
Makes sence. but perhaps I knew, I just lost my sence of self, or the self i wanted to be fell away into the self I had to be. I have always had the aspiratin of who I want to be, and it hasn;t changed, it's just become clouded and I can't see or focus on it.
Just a heads up, I paid the first month on the appartment today. the thing that sucks, we get along well as friends, we are just horrid together.
