I am with my girlfried for about 2 years now. We are complete opposites. I like horro movies, she likes romantic, i like camping, she likes clubing, i like computer, she doesn't. It seems like the only thing we have in common is some real passionate love for eachother. Is this a healthy relationship for the future? Were the Beatles right? "All you need is love?" Or is it "all you need is love, and some other stuff."
well, so long as you agree on the more crucial aspects of each other's character, you should be fine. how do you feel about fidelity, what are your values, how do you feel about children, where do you see yourself in 20 years, that sorta thing. you're bringing a degree of variety to one another's lives, which is never a bad thing.
don't you know the proverb: opposites attract? I don't see why it wouldn't work, if you guys love each other! You don't need to have the same tastes.
We watch TV, eat, talk, try eachother's hobbies, go places, and some other stuff . We agree with eachother when it comes to our morals and values. It is the little stuff that is hard for us to relate to. Our biggest disagreement is our view on money. I like to save money and be a little cheap, and she is a shopper. Often she gets angry at me when i am stingy. We came to an agreement that neither of us are right or wrong about money. We just have different opinions. I just hope it doesn't get worse in the future.
Uh, that is exactly what she is against. I am kinda against that too, but not as much. Please elaborate.
well, seriously, you haven't been together long enough to lay out the ground rules for how the money is to be spent. this is not an insult to her, but you need to protect your personal interests a while longer. i would definitely keep the money seperate, and if she has a problem with that, i'd say you have a deeper seated issue in your relationship than perhaps you're willing to admit to this early in the relationship. share the bills and living expenses, but if she wants to shop, she can use her own cash that isn't necessary for paying agreed upon expenses. sorry, i saw that you were together a couple years instead of a couple months, my bad. still, keep our finances seperate, or you're looking for money arguments worse than you probably already have. i've been with dave 7 years, and since we pooled our money, we've had nothing but trouble with the accounts. for simplicity's sake, perhaps you can keep a joint household account for the bills, then have your seperate personal accounts?
I enjoyed athletics and gaming, she enjoyed clubbing and socialising. I like computers, she doesn't. I like emotional movies, she likes will farrel & Adam sandler commedies. I'm a cheap scrub, she's a spender. Seems like the only thing WE had in common was a love for eachother and a willingness to try. healthy relationship has more involved than shared interests. but you may want to think of things this way. Two uyears from now you go for a week long camping trip with your buds. You either bring her along, and she's misserable, or You return home say "wow! What an awesome trip" and she says "That's nice dear". Sometimes Iwonder if the point of a relationship is not also to enhance the joy of the things we do, as well s sharing ourselves with other people.
well, dave and i enjoy our time apart. we also really enjoy our time together. people will always need time apart from one another, and i think the best relationships are the ones where they get a healthy balance of both.
I have mixed feelings on money, so I can't help you there. I think that if you trust each other and know how to communicate with one another and respect each other then there should be no reason at all why you can't have your money together. My parents have had a joint account for as long as they have been together. They pay the bills together and both of them know what is in the account at all times and both of them know how much debt they are in. It really prevents arguements in the long run. However, they are married and have been for like 30 years or something now. So that is really different from where you are. Jer and I live together and we have been dating for 5 years. We haven't put our money together yet but we have been talking about it. The reason we haven't is because I really like my bank, they have convenient hours, I can go in and talk to a teller and not be charged (his has to do everything through the machine) I have no min. balance, and they don't charge ridiculous fees for things. He has been with his bank for a long time though (over 10 years) and his account is linked somehow to his parent's account so when applying for a loan it looks like he's got $50,000 in the bank (even though that has to do with his parent's account). So we can't agree because if we go to buy a house together we obviously want our credit (both individually and combined) to look good. Oh yeah and the other thing is I am very anal about balancing my checkbook. It has to be exact to the penny or I will go over it 25 times if I have to. He on the other hand doesn't keep track at all! Yikes! Just a running total in his head. He's never bounced anything or gone below like $500 but still, it scares me, especially if there were two of us withdrawing. Know what I mean. Oh anyway, as far as having things in common, don't worry about that. Like the others have said it is the values and what you want from the future and how you communicate, etc. Jer and I don't have a lot in common. We come to the same conclusions, but go about it completely differently if that makes sense. He does do things with me that I enjoy like go see the Dead play or go hiking or he even went to the beach once this summer (he absolutely despises the beach). And I do things with him like help him work on his car, (well sort of) and I watch Family Guy with him, and I even eat Sushi with him (and raw fishies just aren't my thing). We find other things that we can enjoy together even if it isn't either of our favorite activities like going for long walks and talking, and joking around with each other, making fun of family members (that one is really fun! LOL) cooking together. Don't worry too much. I'm sure it will work out for you. Good Luck Jen
"In love you find the oddest combinations: Materialistic people find themselves in love with idealists, clingers fall in love with players... homebodies try to capture and smother butterflys. If it wasn't so serious we could laugh at it." - George Davis I find it true, there's nothing wrong with opposites. I find it always works better when the personalities contrast rather than clash. Blessings Sebbi
opposites do attract but u guys have to have at least SOME common ground to relate to each other on. but ultimately, in the end, love is the most important thing.
well I know plenty of people who make it their function in life to watch telly together and go out and try different restaurants so u do find some common ground there. as for money.. well as long as u're both working and choose to do with your cash what u will then no complaints. it does get trickier though if u settle down together and share a flat/mortgage/decorating etc etc.. then u really are going to have to agree how to split those bills. don't see why it can't work if u truly love each other and are willing to compromise on things.
