ok, so here is the situation. I'm totally in love with this girl, and she know it. we do things together sometimes, but she is really upset about herself, even if she is the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I never stop to tell her how beautiful she is and everything, but she always says that I'm lying. so here is my question. do any of you have an ultimate arguement to convince someone that she is beautiful. seriously, it's very disturbing to try to tell her that she is beautiful is she dont even believe it
point out specific things about her that you find attractive. Saying your beautiful is pretty vague, but if you get specific, she will look at specific things and slowly she will start to feel better about herself. Am I making sense?
um, welcome to most women don't argue with her, just give some positive reinforcement every time you see her. Ask her why she thinks your lying and refute it, but don't get all upset over it, it won't help. A lot of gals have self esteem issues, and think that a fair number of guys lie about how attractive they are just to get into their pants. How long you two have been dating and how thick you lay it on can affect this a lot... don't tell her she's beautiful every five minutes, it'll seem like you're lying. Just once or twice every time you see her should be good.
She might just be trying to get you to continue to tell her. Girls like hearing that and want to hear it a lot if they can. All you need to do is continue to tell her in moderation (like ihmurria said, once or twice a visit should do). I know I love it when my boyfriend tells me I'm pretty or gives me any compliments at all and I want him to continue. Maybe she thinks by arguing with you about it, she's being modest. Don't worry about one final argument to settle it, the more you tell her, the more she'll believe it, and even once she does, don't cease telling her.
Okay coming from someone who is self conscious I can totally help! I am aware that this post is a few months old but I wanted to put my two cents in. Growing up boys would tell me I was pretty or beautiful and as screwed up as this is, I only thought they were telling me these things to get something from me. Even past them not getting anything I still felt nervous about compliments. Now that I am married I find that I still feel odd when even just my husband tells me I am beautiful. No I don't think he is just telling me this "because" or to get something but I just feel like I am so ugly that what he is saying isn't true. I would even go as far as pointing out flaws to avoid being told I was pretty! My husband was getting upset and discouraged by this game that we seemed to play and so he cleverly found ways to tell me I was beautiful. He would compliment me on things that I didn't even think were a part of being beautiful but I slowly started gaining some confindence! He will point out little things like my belly button or the freckle on my big toe and tell me how cute they are. When I would change the subject by telling him things that were wrong with me, he would say okay let me see. So I would of course try to prove that I am right and that I there was something wrong with me and that I wasn't perfect. So as I would show him my "flaw" he would say something like OMG you are right your knees are crooked but you know what, they are soooo cute. I like the way your one knee has a dimple in it here and how when you stand this way your other knee pokes out. He would let me think that my flaws were flaws but find good in them. Does this make sense? lol Also since I had such a low self esteem he would compliment me on things that didn't have anything to do with my looks. My husband is the reason I am confindent with the way I write and speak, my views on life and just being me. It is sad that it took someone else to help me realize that I DID indeed have good qualities but I am here now. Still a little self conscious but I am mostly here. I hope this helped, if not with this girl but another one. The society we live in today is so cruel to young girls and boys. The perfect image is plastered all around us and truthfully even the models selling that "perfectness" don't even measure up themselves. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
that was perfectly put!! what a wonderful answer, and i totally agree. rather than avoid a person's flaws (we all have our little oddities), acknowledge them! that's love. tell your guy what a kick you get out of belly, even when he's got a bit of a pot, tell your gal how much you adore her feet, even when they're oversized, .... sounds like you've got a hubby who knows what love is, jules.
thx everybody, but I might just abondon, everything is fine except one thing : she dont want a relation with anybody...even if we totally connect... she accused me to be weak...
