I think this is the right place to post the following. I'm nearly 22 years of age, single university student. Most people think that i should be down in the pub every afternoon after class but honestly, i dont think its fun to get pissed every single night. I suffer from really bad hangovers when i drink too much, so i dont know how others can do it. I feel a bit of a freak sometimes because i dont enjoy the student life at my university in particular, everyone is into other stuff and i feel like a fish out of the water. i dont enjoy the music they play there, what people talk about, the environment, etc etc i dont enjoy what they do, but then this has made a bit isolated from people and i'm not living student life to "the fullest" I like having a drink or two at weekends mostly, but i dont enjoy binge drinking. Mostly because i'm very concerned about my health and i dont find it fun at all. I like having a puff on my own when i have some or with friends but never too much. i dont like losing control of my actions, though i enjoy getting really fucked from time to time, but not that much anymore. am i missing out on something really great if i dont do what most people of my age do? should i be worried that if i dont mingle with people now i wont get to meet someone who i can start a relationship with when the time is right? i feel so out of place most of the time. only few people really understand the way i am. so sad
If you're doing what you want, then you're not missing out on anything. As long as you're happy with life. If you're curious, go out and get completely wasted one night to see if you like it. Then, you'll know from experience what you're missing.
I think you sound smart !!! I think that you just haven't met the right folks. Maybe try hanging out at different places. What kinds of things are you interested in? I just hope that my kids are as smart as you when they get to be your age.... Im only 28 but I see these college kids binge drinking and all I can think is what dumb ass's ... I mean... really... I would just go out and get into some things that interest you and then the right people will come along.
you may also be slightyly running the risk of isolating yourself too much, though. i had the same sort of issues, preferring to being on my own rather than with the potential friends around. you really should try to find somone to link with or you really will be missing out.
im not a drinker either...just dont like it.....and so long as you are staying true to yourself and happy with that then you arent missing anything. i wonder how many students feel the way you do but then let peer pressure get the best of them, go out and get piss drunk, and then wake up with a hang over (and their grades maybe suffer).
Can you find other people who don't verge on alcholic behavior? I, too, choose never to drink alcohol. I had some freinds who drank, and I had some who didn't. I occasionally did go to bars with them, and drink pop, myself. Other times, I would find something else to do, with people who either didn't drink, or weren't drinking that day. I tried not to isolate myself from people, unless they were really assholes. Maybe some clubs on campus would help. Drinking is not allowed, usually, during school activities and you can meet people there. Good luck.
I don't party nearly as much as most students in germany do. Some just have to take a job to be able to afford all the partying and drinking.... I really enjoy being on my own, and doing other things. but I used to be quite isolated in my first year. But that is also due to the fact that I am very shy and in a way afraid of people. And I also don't drink. Ocasionally a beer or glass of whine, most times not. I also hate the way how it makes me loose controll. But maybe you can go and eat lunch with people, or have breakfast to not get too isolated
Well, when I was 22 years old, I had already been married for 2 years and had a 1 year old son, so I was far from getting pissed and hung over because I had an infant to care for. I used to compare myself to individuals the same age as I and felt so out of the loop. I felt like I was 10, 20 years older at times, like I was an old biddy. I have absolutely nothing against having fun and enjoying life, because that's what I do. You never know when your day will come, but not everyone is into the same way of enjoying life, you know? Embrace the fact that you are different. Unique. Not that there's anything wrong with those who like to do things differently, but don't feel like a freak, because to me, you just sound mature, which isn't exactly a bad thing. Hugs girl...
So what do you enjoy? Why are you at university? I mean, if you're 22, either you're far enuf along to have chosen a major or you took some time off, so are not just another kid going from high school to college because that's what everyone expects you to do... So why are you there? With that established, look for clubs that cater to that interest. I was 22 when I decided to go back to school. I had next to nothing in common with the little 18 year olds in my classes, who were just getting their first taste of having the freedom to party all the time. I didn't really make any friends that first year, but early in my second year got involved with the student organization associated with the department I majored in. For one thing, being a departmental club, I met some of the older, more serious undergrads. And, at the school where I did my undergrad, there is a lot of interaction between undergrads & grad students, who have to be even more serious students. So I met a lot of people who may like to have a few drinks on the weekend, may like to get drunk every now and again, but can't afford to make that a regular (much less daily) habit. Maybe you could look for a similar type of organization? Would you really want to start a relationship with someone who wants to be out at the pub every day? No, you're not missing out on anything really great. From personal experience (side trip before going back to school), getting drunk and making a fool of yourself on a regular basis is not some wonderful amazing experience. It gets old fast. But if that's where all your friends are, you just keep getting sucked back in. So you tell yourself that it's great... That doesn't mean it would be great, or even tolerable, for many of us.
personaly i'd be alot more interested in hanging out with someone whos not getting pissed drunk all the time, you seem alot more mature, those kids who get so drunk i think do it alot cause theyre not yet secure enough in themselves to not jump on the party till u drop bandwagon drinking is ojk as a occassional distraction..but when its a lifestyle its just pathetic dont feel bad about not fitting into a pathetic lifestyle
Maybe the reason you feel so out of place is because you don't realize that the most important things are your classes, your research... if you do that and whatever else you try to do in your school that is considered "academic". You see, I am also like you, I don't like to mingle with people who get wasted by drinking or who just try to "hang out" everyday when they are paying so many thousands of dollars -for going to college. That type of hanging out everyday and not doing the work - I find to be the most ridiculous thing most people our age do. What you need to do is use your college to do something fun and something that helps others and also helps your position later on , after you graduate college. In our college , my friends and I have started a club that helps out international students with their problems at school. We have fun by helping people out and also gain some status in the eyes of professors, administrators etc. so, you might want to do something like that... something that you might think is fun/friendly in your spare time. But mainly concentrate on what you have to do now, so that you will get a better job/position later... don't concentrate on what everyone else does, because if you do what everyone else does, you will always stay mediocre and you will not get ahead. Use your precious time in college to make something of yourself.
Hey, girl, don't worry... No, you aren't missing out on anything; unless, of course, you believe so. Our fantasies often become our realities... You're not alone, trust me. I've struggled to fit in my whole life; but, decided to just... not. I'll definately be feeling for you in a year or two, when I'm in college myself. Hang in there, be yourself; be with your good friends often.
Well... im guessing that becuz u are here at hipforums.. you arent like other people anywayz.. everyone here is special... which is why we come here to find comfort becuz none of us are like the people in our environment. I feel the same way, but I am only in high school. I dont enjoy doing the other things that kids my age do... theres nothing wrong with you. I say the problem lies with the other people. you are obviously unique and special... and it sounds like you are a lot more mature and focused as well. you'll be okay hun. be who you are.... and love it.
everything on moderation, so too much of a good thing can be bad, drugs, drink, sex and isolation. Listen to your inner spirit to guide you, you know whats right for you. But i agree don't isolate yourself find others that have the same interest............and when they hit their 40s and are all burn out and had enough of life , you will still be going strong and just getting started ..........Peace & Love
You're really talking about two separate issues, partying (by which I mean drinking) and having a social life. I have never been into drinking. You're not missing out on anything. I'm not a prohibitionist, I just don't enjoy it for the same reasons that you mentioned. Drinking and socializing are not one and the same. People have often told me that I needed to get out more at different times in my life. Sometimes I feel like getting out and sometimes I want my space. Just think about why you want space. Do you really want all the space you have, or would you like to socialize a little more? It's possible to do both. On the other hand, when I do feel like getting out, not drinking has never held me back. I have been involved in various causes that I care about. I go dancing. Nobody has ever tried to enforce a drink minimum on me. I drink water and soda if the music's at a bar. I haven't really had any problems with people pressuring me to drink, either. There are plenty of people who like to go out, but don't get wasted. Jedi and Dawn Sky had some great ideas. If you want to socialize with people that have more than binge drinking going on, get involved in clubs and committees on campus. I would also suggest that you take advantage of college while you're there. Enjoy it. I don't mean party, I just mean that you have a chance to interact with other intelligent people and enjoy yourself. You're not tied down with any kids yet. (The only parties I go to these days involve pinatas and birthday cake.) Make the most of it.
bohemian coffee shops and healthfood stores!!!!!take yoga, volunteer. I very much respect my health and very much respect u for respectin yours. if u have a way lot of time make art. The energy of creation will aid in any manifestations ( and make u very much more attractive to whoever u are going to attract) Be nice to everybody!!!!!............................................................... .......
