the summer begins in the fields, vast and faithless. the breeze disects a fountain and finds its history renamed. in the breath of a city your bones were made no one will lie with them forever. the scent of boiling lilies falls like an arrow into the afternoon ending around your waist, a dark October.
i like this and think it's really well written... but i must admit i'm not sure exactly what it's about... would you mind enlightening me?
it's impossible to tell you exactly because i'm not entirely sure.... it's very difficult to describe my method of writing... but if you could understand it i think you would understand the words... but that doesn't help you soooooooo: the first few stanzas go like this: basically playing with the idea of contrasting civilization (the city) from the... wild i guess (the fields) saying summer is sort of born there while this person who i'm writing to or about is born in the civilization.... THEN in between with the breeze/fountain thing it connects the wild (breeze) with civilization (fountain- something man builds at least...) but the point of it is that when the breeze comes into the city man gives it a name, a science, etc.... and then the idea of death comes in.... then i go back to the summer idea combining the arrow (man made) with lilies (nature) the lilies are BOILING because it's HOT in the summer (am i going to far into this?!) then the last few lines speak for themselves. I can't believe i actually just analyized my poem. this will never happen again... does anyone like it less after reading that?! i think i would...
reading it the first time...it was a beautiful poem w/ good imagry...reading it after reading your analyzation it was an insightful poem with very clever connotations...i liked it both times...
