The Other Closet: Coming Out

One of the hardest things a gay person goes through is to "come out" and tell friends and family of their homosexuality.

The " other closet", however, is that of Atheism.

I grew up in a wonderful, loving, religious family. They believe in Jesus, holy ghost, tongues, heaven, antichrist, 666, rapture, blah blah blah.

I went through years of HELL (pardon the pun) on my own and finally discovered what I really was: ATHEIST.

Some of you already know my background. But, for those of you who don't...

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived in a nice neighborhood.
He had a nice family, nice friends and a nice little church.
He was taught of God, Jesus, the Bible from age 0.
He attended the finest private Christian schools around.
He was trained in Biblical studies: history, customs, Hebrew, Greek, philosophy and lots and lots of commentary by authorities on the subject.
He graduated w/honors and won the trophies and certificates to prove it.
He went on to study philosophy, minor in psychology.
He became a teacher of Christian philosophy.
He continued to study more and more philosophy, more history, more mythology.
Finally, he decided to step and investigate the "other side" (atheism) from their own literature and not from the filter of Christian apologists.
He challenged himself and eventually came to the realization he was agnostic.
After two more years of further study, he embraced the skepticism of the lack of evidence of the supernatural and became an atheist.

There.

My question is...how do I break it to my grandfather who is 80? I am having a difficult time with this. Any good advice would be appreciated.

 

Why do you think you need to tell your grandfather about it at all?

And I'm sorry, but I have no advise.

 

Personally, I wouldn't. What are you going to say, "As far as I believe once you're dead you simply stop existing! ".. I'm sure you're quite aware that one of the primary reasons anyone embracing a religion is from fear.. Fear of death in particular, it gives them hope that perhaps they are not going to inevitably end in some incomprehensible cessation of existence. I suppose what it all comes down to is do you feel is more important, your being honest to him, or or you making the sacrifice (of perhaps your pride?) for his continued peace of mind. Well that would be my thoughts on the matter anyway.

 

I've been atheist since I can remember. Proof of "god" etc. just does not exist. Now if only I could find someone else's name to use in vain...

GOD DAMMIT
HOLY SHIT
JESUS!
And so on...

 

you can rent mine for 3 cents a blasphemy .

 

It's a long story. A long, long story.

But, my grandfather has always been more understanding than my charismatic father.

 

Why tell him? I was raised much like you were, only whenI began to doubt this "god" that my parents always told me about, I studied beliefs similar, Judaism and Islam, hoping to find answers without straying too far.

They held no answer for me. I have always been very spiritual, so no belief wouldnt do it for me.

I looked outside the box as far as I could, and one day in an act of despiration, i broke down and prayed to whatever would listen. I prayed for knowledge, I prayed for answers, and soon, wheter it was answered, or i just found myself looking harder, the answers came.

I discovered paganism, and have watched me belief system grow and double yearly since then, i have become more that I had ever imagined since that day.

My beliefs have given me honor, faith, love and passion. I have discovered new talents, i have found new ways to express myself, and i have watched my ability to know go up a hundred fold.

You believe in no god, i believe in them all. Only i pray to a handful, and worship a few. I dont even believe my gods mythologies as whole truths, but I believe in them personally. Stories get blown out of proportion, but you can learn from them.

Now I am beginning my next step in life, getting my PhD in Anthropology, because I want to study even deeper where my beliefs were born, and how they parallel others in the world.

My faith has done all that, so if i am wrong, then i have had nothing but good come out of it.

and as to what you should do, dont worry, i havent told anyone in my family anything i have learned, because they wouldnt understand, and it would only hurt them because of their ignorance.

 

The last part...Good point.

I've thought about it. However, I've always been a straight-forward person.

And it's getting harder and harder to deal with the religious aspect of my family and the way they are so intolerant of anything, but Christianity. I have built up quite a bitterness to the whole thing, I admit.

But, I would like to be free to be me around them rather than be "in the closet" and just nod my head or change the subject all the time. And my grandfather just seems a little more reasonable than my father-- a charismatic tv evangelist. ha ha...yeah, laugh if you want, people... it's funny, I know... Libertine's dad is a televangelist.

 

I know what you mean about being yourself, i can completly sympathise with that. Everytime i am around my family, I am forced not to be me, being unable to talk about what I am passionate about. My mom asked me if i was in a cult once, I answered her by saying "no i am far to intelligent for that, but i am starting one however" lol

But even if they knew, i couldnt be myself because, if i still went around them, they wouldnt understand me, just like the always have not understood.

Having children does make it harder for me, but im not sure how it would help you change much, aside for openly opposing their beliefs.

I hope you find the answers you need, guess now would be a good time to have a god to pray to? LOL sorry, had to stick a punch in.

Take care man, and good luck

 

im going through something similar to that Lib, although more with my imediate family [brother and sisters] and i think it just stems from the fact that im shy, and insecure, and just want to be accepted...my grandparents would probobly be thrilled

i like you, and i like you even more...i always know there is a face on the other side of the screen, i just never know who that is...i see yours now


im sorry i don't really have any advice thoguh
peace

 

I have some advice for Burbot, GAUSSIAN BLUR!

it helps correct the horrible clipping job.

Try it out man lol.

dont hate me, just being a dick for humors sake.

 

oh, you mean the choppy yellow junk in my blazer?

EDIT: and well, now that i see it, you mean that choppy yellow junk everywhre

 

Here, its the best i could do with what I had lol

 

hey, thanks heron ...im gonna switch it

 

Libertine:

This is my advice.

Walk up to him, slowly, while he's sitting in his rocking chair, bring him a glass of milk and oreos, kneel down next to him, take his hand and clasp it in both of yours, and say, "grandfather, I'm atheist."

(And for added devilish taste, take one of the oreos, dunk it in his milk, and plop it into your mouth and walk away.)

... but seriously, the easiest way to tell someone is to tell them. That's what I did, and I like to think I have the least hassle out of the rest who have been caught performing Satanic rituals, or making Wiccan magickal brews, or sacrificing a lamb to the Pagan gods, et cetera ...

 

MUCH better! *claps*

 

Thanks, Burbot.

I'm not really an asshole, I just play one on tv.

 

As you remind me a bit of Johnny Depp. The oreo bit sounds exactly like something he'd do in a film.

 

i've never really had this sort of trouble. i usually just say it and let them deal with it however. usually they're pissed. oh well. better than lies of ommission, right?

 

I just don't like to hurt people, but I can't live in the closet either.

The pressure is getting heavier.

"Why aren't you at church?", "Everybody bow and say grace", "I really wish you'd consider going back to teaching a class", "Have you prayed about it (whatever situation)", "Pray for so and so", etc. etc.

"The Last Days are upon us!", "I can't wait until Jesus raptures us, can you?", "Have you thanked God lately?", "The signs of the times are evident, aren't they?"

I am tired and just smiling and attempting to change the subject. I feel as if it is getting closer and closer...

And I just want to do the best thing.