I wish I didn't know about this abortion

I have a friend who's having an abortion probably right now. I'm supportive of her personal choices but it's still very hard for me to handle right now just knowing a child's life is ending. The baby's daddy is going to be told she's had a misscarriage. I don't know if I'll be able to look him in the face after this. I probably won't have to but it's still hard to know that today he will go to bed thinking his baby died a natural cause. I wish I didn't know.

 

oh my god...

I don't think that abortions are right, but i am not against them either. It just makes me sad.
And it makes me so sad, that she has the guts to do what she does, but not to tell the baby's father, what's truly going on.

 

Oh, wow. That's a terrible secret to keep. Was the boyfriend trying to prevent her from terminating, or is it something else?

I'm sorry you have to be part of this.

 

Why is he even a factor? It's her body

 

?Are you serious? The baby is part of both mom and dad~

Anyways... Im against abortion but would not give someone a guilt trip over it. I, myself, would never do it.

I know that you must be feeling very sad. My friend has had like 6 abortions I have a really hard time with it.

 

If she can't be honest with him about this, there really isn't too much of a future between them

 

No there isn't a future for them. She does not love him. He's got quite a few issues that cause her to believe that she will end up doing much of the work on her own in the long run theres a lot to it. I just remember I told her if you need someone to go with you I'll go and then today as it's happening I'm going jeeez....I don't think I could handle being there for that.

 

RE: ?Are you serious? The baby is part of both mom and dad~

Not legally.

 

she said a girl has done this to him before and he knew about it and that if he knew she was doing it he'd kill himself.

 

I'd hand him the means to do so.

 

he sounds insane then, so maybe she knows what is right. horrible secret and burrden for you to know. but everything happens for a reason

 

No, he's a manipulative asshole.

He seems to have a history of impregnating women and threatening himself if they would dare to get rid of it.

I'd hand him a straight razor and call his bluff.

 

How does she know?

Because a lot of times when people threaten suicide in a situation like this, they don't actually intend to.

I just think that lying to him can only make the situation worse. What happens if he finds out?

 

Also, if she sees she doesn't have a future with him, and he's someone she can't even feel safe telling him something so significant, why is she still with him?

 

Jeez, what a NUT this guy is. IMO, she's better off without him. I hope she doesn't go back to him afterwards. A Drama King who threatens suicide if people don't do what he wants? She's better out of his life. THIS behavior will not stop. I feel really bad for her. But, why is she still with him? He's crazy. Some dude threatened suicide to me, I'd hand him the bottle of pills. I hate that type of manipulative behavior.

 

I know this is slightly off topic...but it came to mind while I was reading this. A man the other day pretty much called me superficial because I won't get involved with a man that can't help support a family....he was under the impression that all you needed was love , and money shouldn't matter (of course he had just lost his job and was trying to get into my pants at the time , lol). All I can say is....if ya can't help keep the boat afloat stay the fuck out of it...ie...feelings are all gooey and good, but when it comes down to it raising kids takes money,stability and a butt load of work and I will never blaim a woman for realizing too late that the man can not support that and realizing that she doesn't want to take the burden of raising and supporting children (and possibly raising and supporting the man as well) on all by herself. Often women are just as young and naive as their counterparts until the pregnancy hormones start coursing thru their body and then it's "Fuck, I don't have stability,I have a child coming into this world, and this whiny man spending all his time sitting here complaining instead of kicking in more help." Abortion sucks but I can entirely see the motivation behind alot of them.

 

RE: Some dude threatened suicide to me, I'd hand him the bottle of pills. I hate that type of manipulative behavior.

We agree on something? Call the militia!!!

Guys don't whine. When they're tired of life they do something dramatic to end it. Usually involving a firearm or a high fall. Women on the other hand tend to send "signals" to people ... "I'm gonna take this bottle of pills now.... all of them...."
and do things that aren't really that fatal.

RE: A man the other day pretty much called me superficial because I won't get involved with a man that can't help support a family

That's why we take the boring careers that pay well. That's why we do math and engineering rather than careers which are interesting but low paid.

 

I know how you feel, my friend came to stay with me the night before she had her abortion. i hate abortion, but she had no one else she could tell and needed a friend, it was so hard to be there for her though, in her case the baby was the result of a one off with an old boyfriend, she had just met the man she later moved in with and they are still together. ive found out my m-i-l had three abortions after she had her first two kids.

i just tried not to think about it and kept my mouth shut, nothing else i could do cos she needed me. Im sure she has her reasons. but this guy does sound unhinged and possibly dangerous, he may hurt her if he found out the truth, she is better off out of there.