The most terrifying experience of my LIFE. Part one

I have tried shrooms 3 times now. 1st time was half a bag of liberty caps shared with Dan.....mild trip, odd visuals, felt really heavy and giggly.
GREAT fun.

Second time was at Avebury for the Solstice just gone. Libertys again....the guy in Solstice spirit sold us each a tenners worth for a fiver.
Well, not understanding the implications of this...(little skinny shrivelled things? They cant do THAT much?.....can they?)
We took em all.

Started off fantastic......weird visuals....couldnt keep still....the Kings Drummers were playing and dancing and I was obsessed with the fire and I was convinced there was a huge bubble of energy above them that kept firing off sparks and hitting me.....and I was enthralled with it!
As time went on it got more and more intense.....my whole vision and being was taken up with colour and distortion, and as I came to realise I had ABSOLUTELY no control over this it began to scare me a tad.
It got to a point where I was in another world. I kept drifting in and out of reality and at one point when I came home for a minute I found myself sitting in the grass grasping lumps of sheep shit!!!
I kept dancing around to the drummers and was convinced I was surrounded by a huge crowd of thousands of people.....then I'd turn round and find there were only a few.
I could hear and feel a scary electrical buzz going through my brain.....it felt like I was in touch with and part of the electricity that powers your nerves and neorons.

I called it the Zow.....cos I kept floating about and feeling like I was swooping about and kept saying in a descending tone "Zoooooooooowwwwwwww, in the Zooooooooowwwwwwww" Z is a scary letter. It reminds me of electricity...of which I am fascinated and slightly afraid......

I could only focus on one thing at once. I kept trying to do missions...like standing up......pass this bag that i didnt want to hold to Dan.....but id forget what I was doing and find myself somewhere else...and the fact i couldnt get rid of this stupid bag started to stress me out. Thats when it started getting bad.

I then lost all sense of "self." I lost my soul. And thats when it started going REALLY bad.
I stopped wanting or needing anything. I felt completely pointless. At that moment in time I had nothing I really cared for....no goals....I wasnt looking forward to ANYTHING. I felt like just a souless ball of energy floating pointlessly through time and life...destined for a lifetime of nothingness. Stuck in the Zow.

I was getting deeper into my mind....into a world where I think no one but Shamans or something should enter into......and it was getting fucking SCARY.
The stimulation, from the drummers and the dancers and the people was getting too much for my brain to deal with, and I knew I needed to get back to the tent. I kept trying to talk to people but all that came out was gobbledegook and they all kept looking at me weird and all I could hear people saying was gobledeegook. I started feeling as well as being nothing...like I was insane. No one knew me and I was nothign to them all in my head.

We needed to get back to the tent. However walking was extremely hard and it looked like MILES from the sun circle to the gate and the Red Lion.
We got through the gate and by the St Johns Ambulance I decided to sit down.
I was getting deeper into it and losing myself...seriously disconnecting from reality.....I got convinced I was going to die........I was imagining the headlines in the paper....How disapointed those who knew me would be...Id be just another dead person heard about on the news who everyone said "Aww" about but didnt REALLY care.
Then I made my aquaintance with death and accepted my fate and THREW myself backwards at the floor (I still have a huge bruise on my head...and the remnants of a black eye) And I well and truly entered the Zow and lost all sense of reality. The real world was gone and I was in a freaky TERRIFYING dream land of full on hallucination.
I woke to reality with St Johns ambulance people and Dan talking to me and asking what I'd had and stuff and I was trying to get them to make it stop but they wouldnt...I wanted to go to hospital but they wouldnt take me......
I was CONVINCED I had thrown up everywhere..I could feel sick chunks in the back of my throat and could taste bile and my nose was all runny and had that feeling like when u just threw up and it came out your nose...
But I hadnt...I never threw up once that night. Not at all.

I then was lifted and I staggered with Dan half way down green street until the Zow started returning and rebuilding its strength, I decided it was just too far....(my perspective was distorted and a few feet looked like MILES) adn I burst into tears and slid down Dan in absolute desperation......I heard him saying "I dont know what to do here......" And that got me more scared as he was my rock at the time.........
I was convinced that EVERYONE at Avebury was tripping and that was no use to me as I wanted tomeone to look after me and make me safe and OK...I heard screams and fireworks...it was just everyone celebrating in the circle but I got convinced that something really bad....some disaster was happening.

I fell to the floor and started screaming at the top of my voice for someone to help me and get me an ambulance...........I couldnt understand why no-one would get me an ambulance and I was getting frustrated.

I knew it was bad when I decided that even Dan couldnt help me as he was tripping...and no one trippign could help me.
But EVERYONE was tripping wern't they?
PANIC moment!!!!!!!!!

One of the guys camping in the wood and his friend came over and he was older and obviously more experienced in the ways of the trip and he started just talking at me..............People had been trying to get ME to talk which I didnt want as I found speaking really difficult and stressful......but he just talked at me. Told me I was having a bad trip and just kept talking and providing my brain with a stimulus for a link with reality.
I was lying in the foetal position and returned to the freaky Zow world for a while....but I could hear everyone talking far off in the distant real world and I was getting paranoid cos I was going to die goddammit and no one was doing anything to help!
Plus i also realised that REALLY I didnt know anyone byut Dan really well, and in this position abyone could hurt me...rape me, kill me whatever......
But the guy instead of trying to get me out just talked at me and let my brain get over and through this particular wave of zowyness by itself.

I sat up convinced I was surruounded by loads of people. But realitys vision returned for a second and I realised I was staring at the wire fence. I looked behind me and it was just those three.
I then felt a desperate need for water and was crying out for it. The guy had one of those hiking water bottles that u attatch to your back pack with a sucky thing and put it in my mouth....Lying there in the foetal position sucking this thing actually comforted me and calmed me.....I sent me back to being a baby......safe at the nipple with no concern for the dangers and reality of the world.
I had this dilemma of thinking millions were there and then realising it was still really dark and just those three several more times before I came to...turned round and suddenly...WHACK!
I came out of The Zow, judgement returned, and my soul came back. I regained my human wants and needs and felt sort of like a person again. I said straight in the guys eyes "Right! I have to get up and back now. Help me up"..
I was still tripping my ass off and I was constantly fighting my tripping mind which wanted to go back into Zow........but the important thing was is that I had regained at least a part of my rational mind which knew that Zow was too close to another world...too close to death or soemthign for comfort and I REALLY shouldn't be there at all as its a land of monsters and disturbing things..where lost souls walk...some kind of HELL......and at least now I was actually able to fight my mind.

They walked me back with my arms draped round their shoulders and put me in my tent. I was able to talk and to laugh and stuff again....and then Dan looked after me for the rest of the night...Id gone bloody FREEZING!

I then swore I would NEVER EVER take them again.........

Of course by the fact this is a part one....that tells you now that Samurai Seahorse disregarded her better judgement and tried again a week later........
I'll tell u after my dinner.................

 

Fascinating description of getting lost and tapping into the subconscious.I haven't done psychedelics since the 70s,but I was 28 when I first did LSD,so maybe I didn't get completely lost like you did when tripping ,due to what?Life experience?I had some INTENSE times,but I usually was the one that could talk people down.Imagine staying in that state-for a month-a year-forever.I saw kids in my travels here and there who seemed to remain flipped --when they weren't stoned.Must be what schizophrenics go thru.The fact that you realized you were slipping had to be truly terrifying.I think it would be better to not realize it, in some way.Well-don't go away forever!--------be careful--or not.------------------------------scratcho--------------

 

It sounds like you experienced destruction of the ego; you lost the sense of who you are. I've experienced this once before, it wasn't terrifying, but definately confusing as I was getting my stomach pumped at the time; but that's a whole different story.

 

Please, do tell us. lol