deep depression? share it here..

hi,
I haven't seen my boyfriend for about 20 days and I don't want to do anything.. even sleep or eat or meet someone or do something..
I wanted to make some craft to present him, but I don't have willing..
Tomorrow another friend comes to me. That means I must clean my room. I feel comfortable when everything is in chaos around me. I hate guests

now about you, what are your problems?

 

I HAVE ALOT RIGHT NOW!

but they arent really problems... they suck in some ways though. and in other ways i couldnt be happier!

Lets see, my lover, love of my heart
went to see her family, and figure some things out.
her families about 2500 miles away.
We had been working to be together for a year before that
we were together for 2 1/2 months, and decided that we need some time apart to find our true selves. Things that i had been planning for and her too with us together, had to be refigured.. especially for me. We slept in the back of my truck while picking fruit in the okanagon valley for those 2 1/2 months. I realized that this new way to do things was imminent, i felt something like the position im in now, about a month and a half ago on the rise. So i started moving the wheels to encompass this new spectrum.. Alot of decisions where made, and now i'm here.

So now I have to get a Job an apartment, i'm homeless and broke.
my car, my source to pursue these necessities, needs a new battery.
and it has a flat tire.

and once i gets those things, in about a month after that, im going to need mechanic work done on it.

I owe about 1500$ to various people also, and am borrowing money to get what I need at the moment.

theres so much paper work and neccessities, and craziness to get this money.. I have to do alot of work, and have no base to stand on to complete it. and at the same time trying to do the things i love, like play music, and be comfortable and happy in myself to continue exploring my spiritual journey.. It's kind of a strain. Oh yeah i ran over my acoustic guitar a few days ago too with my car, so i have no guitar.

Oh yeah, so my car broke down, and i borrowed someones bike, and the bike tire went flat, and I gave away my skateboard.. so i pretty litterally have nothing!

I'm staying at a family friends house, and I have a week 1/2 limit to staying here...

I could probably have everything i need by wednesday...

I think i can pull it all together, still find myself and the beauty within my soul touch the sky, and continue to create wonders with my girl, and begin expressing myself creatively again, and on higher and higher levels.

I'm just in such a wild time right now...

feels good to write it all down, and share it with some caring minds too...

I'm pretty much forced to be completely encompassed in Love Light...
And let all turn to ease...

Theres no more left in me, to create mazes for myself to get out of.
I've found the exit and it's eternal love. As old as time. As young as spring. Over and Over again.

 

Dear sitareric, I'm glad you shared it here. I hope you feel now better.
You must be proud of yourself, 'cause you got power to be happy and you are optimistic.
To be optimistic is the best thing in man I think. Optimists are happier and the life is better for them.
First of all, think about your girl and try to be happy with her when she returns. When you have a partner , life is more easier and problems are not so scary
good luck and take care!
I'm sure you'll find a job 'cause I saw you're very poetric. it seems in you style how you're writting poetric people are romantic people, and romance is needed everywhere - even in bussness offices or somethig like that ..
good luck again!

 

I stubbed my toe. The world is black and dead to me now.

 

I'm struggling to get things set up for me... I still have to apply for a legal name change and get my letter of recommendation before I turn 18; I'm a tgirl, btw. I went through a significant amount of depression because of my own denial; which, eventually got better, up to where I came out. Then, I began experiencing even more stress to get things set up so that the next two years go right.

All the while, I'm trying to keep my parents under control and I have to guide them along so that they aren't freaked out by any steps I take. They jump to conclusions and assume things and make it very difficult for me to continue lying to them... I told them they could take their time, when, in reality, they can't... I nearly wince everytime they call me by my current legal name, or, refer to me with male pronouns. I have a month till I'm 18, which is when things will change a great deal; it marks the true beginning of my life as a woman.

 

i just came out of a depression, though i don't know why i was depressed... but it was bad

 

i have been very depressed in the last couple of days and i have no idea why..maybe its because i kinda fucked up..i thought maybe if i started talkin to this kid it would be a good thing and could maybe work out..i cant seem to get this other kid off my mind...who knows why i still think about him and the fact that he will probably never talk to me again..i thought the other kid waz different..but i messed it up..i waz supposed to hang with him today but i had to work meanin i made him wait around and by the time i talked to him it waz already to late..then he tells me that hell call sometime..so im takin it that means he is either mad at me or really doesnt wanna hang out with me..i dont get it i never do anythin wrong to anyone and no one seems to wanna be with me or hang with me seriously does anyone know what im doing wrong..why ever time i try to get close they pull away..these are the times i truly need some one..life is hard for me right now..with the shit im goin through..my weight lose..no one cares although they say it it doesnt mean anythin...sad about not gettin into a good college and havin a dorm and everythin im stuck at the stupid ccri...f that shit..plus i have no boyfriend or anything of that sort...i dunno what to do anymore i seriously dont

 

Dear Ocean Byrd, problems with parents is more than usual. Try to find +es in your situation. F.e. there are hundreds of parents, who don't care about their children, and believe me, it's worse than when you are full of their care. They're just scared because you'll be woman soon and you might leave them.
I don't mean that you must have friendship with ancestors, but it's enough when you understand them you know.
Maybe they call you by your legal name 'cause it is what they gave you. Every normal parent will become sad when his own child refuses what he gave him.
Good Luck!
and happy future birthday!


Dear hippieseba,
maybe it was because of your age? when I was 13-15 I was fallin' in melancholy mood every other day! haha, it was funny..


Dear jaja318,
you're not the only one who lost weight.. Here I am!! I even lost my cicle because of it it's 0.00001% that I'm pregnant so more real is that it's because of lost..
So please take care of yourself and eat more than enough to be in normal weight.
You know, there are thouthend of kids and if this one makes you uncomfortable, you can find another. I see you have problems, so you don't need extra, right?
I think you must try to find power in you, which will help you to solve your problems. I mean when you feel powerful and good, that you can 'force' the environment to roll around you! When you're melancholic, everythin is against you.. it's only my view I might be wrong but with myselft it's true!
I always try not to be forced by situation, but force it myself..
it's difficult but not impossible..
Good luck!

 

my problem too, 'cept i havent seen my girlfriend for about 3 weeks, and i dont think i will since shes away at college...

 

This threads bringin' me down.

 

My problem is I haven't had any money for the past couple weeks. I've hardly been eating and lost 20 pounds. The only thing I've been doing lately is lying on my couch, constantly drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. There's a shit load about the world that depresses me, but I'd be typing all day. I've basically been isolating myself from others lately. The only thing positive I'll say is I hope everyone works through there problem, although things may seem hopless and senseless. Best of luck.

JOKER

 

on a slightly happy note, joker! what the hell is up?!

 

well, I won't be seeing my love until probably christmas.. aint seen her since august 16th.
everything seems to be getting harder by the hour... at first, i was okay with everything, but now its all so tough...
aside from my little drup expedenture last nite, i've been really fucking sad for about a week now...
this is the first time i've openly admitted this, even to myself.

i never should've let her go.

 

amen man, i wouldnt have let her go, but i had to... and my arms just cant reach 400 miles

 

Well, Im quite depressed atm as well. On Monday I move to Georgia (eww) and I have to leave my boyfriend who I love so much. I have never felt this way about ANYONE and I have to leave him just cuz my dad wants me to come live with him. He missed out on most of my life anyway so whats the point now? And I have awesome friends here as well. If I dont like it there he said I can come back after a little while. And my boyfriend said he will wait for me. But he has also said that in a way me going away will be a good thing. So he can get his life together n not have the stresses of a relationship. That upse me but I can understand what he is saying. And also, Im nervous about starting a new school. What if no one likes me? Everyone says Im worrying over nothing but the fact is, I really dont want to leave...

 

that sucks

To have your love away is the worst thing ever I think..

Why?? I think you have problem but can't write just do it believe me you'll feel better

 

dear joker, don't be alone doing nothing try to change something I know it's easy 2 say but difficult 2 do but be optimistic and enthusiastic, I'm sure you'll be ok soon!
Best luck!

Dear little sunshinelovepeace, it's cool that you can return if you don't like there. Who knows, maybe there is better. If not, you will simply come back. On the other hand, to change environment is a good thing for your experience. You don't move to alaska or somewhere where is uncomfortably so feel good life is full of changes!
Your bf feels bad and it's good that you understand him what he said, you seem peaceful nice girl so you'll be loved in other place I'm sure!





Now about me.. Damn! What a crazy feeling when you know you are hated and subject is(are) the parents of your love.
you know, here, by me, most parents are old-fashiond, me and my bf just wanted to have holiday together and his parents decided that we plan to get merried.
brrrr!!! after a few "shows" I'll never call him or go to his house, even if he becomes ill What the hell?? WHat have I done wrong? Why couldn't we just having rest together, with our friends! we weren't planning to travel alone, also our friends.. Blah!
I think about his mother every moment.. I think how it will be if one day I meet her in the street. I saw a dream recently.. scary scary dream, blah

 

Lol, I found this old thread in my posts.

So, guys, how have you solved your problems?

I hope now you're fine unk:

 

ursula....i understand you are sad an am missing your boyfriend....but look at it this way - he's coming back. he's not dead!!!!

you wanna know depressing? how about your 16 year old cousin just dying! After you just saw him!

everyone---stop feeling sorry for yourselves....you have your health, your life, your friends and family....there are a lot of people who have WAY more to mope around about.

 

ok, i just noticed how old this thing is.........sorry.

but he came back!!!!! right?