The Invisible Dance I’m dancing for you My Love Do you see how light I am on my feet? Watch me twirl My Dear So I may fall in defeat. Do you notice how I stare? Do you see the roses in my hair? I wore my dress of red I thought it would turn your head… Look my way Love Can’t you see me through the crowd? Should I be screaming out loud? My feet are aching…my heart breaking I dance so divine Mayhap I need be more refine? Is the color of my dress too red? I feel as if I am losing my head. The girls surround you Flock to be by your side They press their hands upon your chest But it is I who loves you best. I am starting to feel dizzy And I fear I’m getting weak My mind is going crazy Do you admire my physique? My feet now bleed Tears clouding my view I stretch my arms out To You I stand alone now Twirling in circles My feet bleeding on the floor But still I dance some more My dress is torn And those lovely roses… Have fallen from my hair I am in despair I keep dancing though on this bloody floor Although you chose to ignore, I promise to dance forever Until you take notice and adore
very cool..i like the imagery alot. I get a sense of colors and sounds, and the colors of sounds, and the sounds of colors. Very far-out
wow, that was fantastic....i so thoroughly felt the shift in hope to dispair and it made my heart bleed to.....hope is a wonderful emotion unless it gives you a false sense of reality...
Well, some of the rhyming was forced, some parts didn't rhyme, and the rhyme scheme wasn't consistent. Nonetheless, I really liked the poem. The emotion is really coming through, the love, then the broken heart.
I have mixed feelings about it I liked the inconsistence I did not like how forced some of the rhymes seemed I liked alot of the imagery but some things seemed they could have been emphasized more but overall it was pretty good keep at it
