Okay. I've come to conclusion that I'm gay. That's obviously not the sickening part, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll get to the "sickening" stuff in a few; just let me tell my tale. It took me awhile to completely figure things out, but I have a gist of things now. I actually always knew, just needed to settle. I couldn't picture it any other way, and I'm glad that I have things figured out. At first I told my grandmother a year ago that I am bi, she didn't agree with it, but she said she'll accept it because there isn't anything else she can fucking do. Anyways; I'm not just bi. I'm actually pretty gay. I always liked girls more; their just so hard to approach, and my feelings shift frequently when it comes to the thought of a relationship. Needless to say, I finally found a girl. Anyways; the thought of being with a male is completely repulsive to me now. Beyond repulsive; I literally cringe. Sure I've had experience with a guy, but that was just trial and error, and one last step to confirmation. My period of adjustment was awhile ago, and then I actually experienced sex with a girl, it was great! So that part wasn't awkward. To the sickening part. I stongly insinuated to my mother that I'm gay. She seemed to be in denial; considering I've experierience with a guy (it sucked). She also said that "at worst I'm bi", then trailed off into her wanting grandkids, and how eating *box* is unappealing to her. I was like whatever, I don't give a shit. I never want kids, and I told her that I'll never have kids to spite her. But really I have no desire to be a mother anyways. I don't want stretchmarks, I don't want dick, and I don't want a gaping vagina. So my grandmother and everyone else keeps bringing up that I should get a boyfriend. I keep telling them no, look at them with complete disgust, and as if they have three heads. I'm sure they know, they just don't want to deal with it. Which isn't my problem, I don't give a shit. I'm completely satisfied with my life(style) as is currently is, and don't have any qualms. They're retarded. Maybe I should vomit on them when they bring it up. I figure that when I finish school, get a great job, and find a nice place to live, I'll never have to deal with these fuckers again; mostly because I don't want to. So yeah, that's pretty much it. Thanks for reading.
you seem a littlle filled with hate abou this whole thing. is that relly what makes you happy?i'm not questioning you, but our outlook just seems a little harsh for you to be happy with it. sorry if i just dont understand
I'de probably share this really intense, passionate, messy kiss (complete with groping) in front of them. Or make it look like it's an accident that they saw. How fun! Spite! I was joking, btw, do not to that But then again...
your on your way to becoming a great dyke, keep it up Ill see you holding up the gay bar, with the 11th fluffy duck in hand while smoking a cigarette... No serioulsy... your parents/grand parents are not educated with Homo-sexuality, they are living of there stereotypes and pre-conceptions, you have to give them a chance, and not be so in their faces with it, to them you are there little girl who they gave dolls for xmas to , so tread carefully, because when you GROW UP, you will need your parents and your opinions about them change. you may even want kids when your older, just because you dont want them now doesnt mean you dont later, and you dont need DICK, (which i dont see anything wrong with hehe ) just a warm turkey baster. so do your self a favour drop the bullshit attitude and give them some time, they will try the boyfriend thing but that is just there way, they wont force you onto a boy, so what can they do. and if all else fails, you can always run away and become a great big lonely lesbian
Just putting my opinion down. When first coming out they wont accept it. Deal with it and move on. Dont cut them out of your life just because they cant deal with this one thing. There are worst things in life that can happen besides being gay. Your family will either accept your gay or ignore it. Either way they will always be your family. Like it or not.
Maybe they know, and maybe they don't know. People can be surprisingly blind to what they don't really want to see. There is nothing wrong with finding a nice place to live, but keep as many options open as possible. Live where you have a great job and good friends and there are all sorts of good things going on. In other words, move in order to be some place and not necessarily try to be away from where you are now. Vomiting on people is rarely an effective means of getting a point across, and there's always a chance that you'll miss. I truly don't recommend it.
I'm *slightly* misanthropic/jaded. But it doesn't mean I dislike my sexuality, by any means; if that's what you're implying. I just know human tendencies pretty well, and I refuse to let anyone shit on me. That's my personality. I'm not quiet this harsh; but I still like to keep my bounds. Who's "our"? Are you generalizing gay people, or this forum? What is "our" outlook? If you think everyone is super happy all the time, then hunnie you're kidding yourself. I don't necessarily think I'm completely filled with hate, and it doesn't make me happy. I consider it a safety precaution; some people call it a "mental wall". It happens to people that have been through enough to learn from their ordeal that life was generous enough to deal to them. Get it? Oh; just to clarify. I'm not just directing this towards mistreatment of the g/l/b/t, but mistreatment period.
Smoking; I could give up. But my defense mechanism is a no-no. Clearly; it doesn't get in the way because I met a great girl, and I have a few friends. If one day; I decide to become a social butterfly. Fine. But for now, I'm gonna stay the way I am right now. I'm not impulsive, so I doubt that I'll actually abandon my family entirely.
I know that rule damn well; oblivious to the obvious. Sometimes the things people are oblivious to, it's just really funny. By the people, for the sake of clarification; I was venting. I want to move where I want to move because cheap rent, and the area will be great for my career. Damn. Well it seemed like a good idea...
I think it was a typo, supposed to be "your". Anyways, I understand your frustation, my family is somewhat close-minded too. Hopefully your family will eventually accept the fact.
OK. Im happy your out, and sorry your family are having a hard time adjusting to your lifestyle. But, i must point out, that if you breast feed you will in no way have a gaping vagina as you put it, on the contrary my dear. I was tighter than a miser after a few weeks and felt like a virgin when i had next had sex. Also, you never heard of a turkey baster girl...you don't need a penis these days!! lolol.
The one's that know aren't that bad, and the ones that may find out soon, well I don't entirely care what they think, and there's not a fucking thing they can do about it. I didn't mean that women that give birth always have a gaping vagina, but after they give birth and it takes a few months to heal completely. I'm familar with the process of artificial insemination, but I'm saying that giving birth isn't really all that appealing. I've had enough experience with kids to scare me out of the idea. I've also witnessed it. I never wanted a kid, and hopefully that doesn't change. One thing that annoys the fuck out of me is people telling me that one day I will want something, contrary to what I say. I know things change, but I also know myself. Personally, I just want to focus on work, and school, be successful and relatively wealthy. I won't worry about having a relationship with anyone to the point that it overwhelms me, and it controls my life. I'll have a relationship when I want and if I want. But one thing I learned is that NOTHING is 100% gaurunteed; that includes my ideals changing.
