thanks for the advice. My b/f brought this up. He sai d he thought about, but he can't do it. He said if I wanted to be with both of them, not to let him find out about her. I don't want that. Plus I know that she would be against it. She is very jealous. shes been known to attack ppl who flirt with me...kicking, punching, stabbning with pens...shes a little crazy over me...so, that lifestyle would not work out for them. As for me, I think I would go crazy. Both of these ppl are very demanding. THey are both really needy people and I wouldn't be able to give them both the attention wnated
Right. I think in any kind of relationship honesty and openness come first. And with one wanting not to know and the other being jealous polyamory or polyfidelity wouldn't really be an option. I do have to say that that level of jealousy can be a danger sign, please be careful, there definitely can be domestic violence in same sex relationships even if its not as common as in heterosexual relationships, and I have known too many people who started off feeling flattered when their partners would get violent or angry toward people who hit on them, only to find themselves the target of that same anger and violence later when they innocently flirted with someone else. I wish you the best, I have been there before and I know it is a heartwrenching kind of situation.
Jealousy is the ugliest word in my vocabulary. It goes against everything I believe in -- INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM. If were to be with anyone that jealous, I'd tell them to seek counseling and get some self-worth. Perhaps, you need some time to think about your situation more. Examine the pros and cons and see what benefits TheMistress, because only you are responsible for your life in the long run. You don't need to look back 20 years from now and say, "I should have..." You got a serious decision to make. THINK FOR YOURSELF and make the decision based on that. I wouldn't tell you anything I wouldn't do myself.
Well Mistress. If I get it right , your bf can possibly work round it if he doesnt know but your gf cant? ( Sorry Ive just come back from the traditional English pub , and the gorgeous barmaid who until recently I really fancied told me to go for the Russki girl- so Im still spinning). You have to look at the "least unfavourable option". I cant see anything wrong with polygamy or whatever the multiple sex partners one is. ( After 5 days of whatever Im feeling , Ive still got no interest in sex). ______________________ Dont do anything because of fear , or "because its too hard to work out" or because u think your family wont love you. _______________________ As a person youre still evolving.Youre confused but you'll work thro the overwhelming parts and it will look so much simpler. BUT The violence aspect needs to be looked at.Ive seen lesbian violence when a male3rd party becomes involved. Maybe I should consider deferring an answer til tomorrow. But u have to ask why she is violent. If someone doesnt want me , I cant lock them up , I cant intimidate everyone they speak to , there has to be some "balance", some agreement. The girl is the one you love , you must speak to her first.But you must clear out the mess with her and see that the relationship can work. Good luck!Self Styled xx
When you love someone, there is no "love more" or "whole love", there is only love. If you love your boyfriend, then love him, its obvious that he loves you. If you love your girlfriend, then love her, if she returns it. Since you can only be with one of them, be with one of them, but you can always love them both. I love two people very passionatly, and can only be with one of them. Yeah its tough sometimes, but i have an amazing love with my wife, and now an amazing love with my friend. YOu dont always need a label, is she my girlfriend? lover? wife? no, shes my everything.
Love is the most powerful force of Nature.. sometimes we are blessed by him... sometimes ignored..sometimes overcrowed with him.. it is always your heart the only right judge...noone can give suggestion..they will all be like frozen flower on the water... they cant get deep inside... let all the tears coming out... they can sign that path that has to be followed...
heron, the thing that makes this even harder is that I have the option. It's completely up too me, I can have either one of them. Anna told me about how much she loves me and wants me, she left her boyfriend, and my b/f tells me how much he loves me and wants me. This is completely my choice. Both people are willing to have me. It's really SOOOOO HARD. I'm so confused.
I hope that you feel better soon. I've found that i've never solved a problem or come to terms with a problem, while I was suffering over it. The best advice I can give, is to do something (as hard as it sounds) that does not involve either one of them - And enjoy the moment that it brings. Go to a place you enjoy being - And wipe your mental slate clean. Later.. After you have time to decompress - you might have an easier time deciding what you need to do. That heart of yours will always press you for an immediate answer. You don't strike me as someone who walks on shaky legs, so take the time to make the right choice, which ever one that might be. I hope it all works out.
thisismike, that sounds like a wonderful idea. my next day off is this tuesday, I'm thinking I will do just as you suggested!
Aww I know just how you feel. I do not have a boyfriend, but my best friend and I over the years have become extremely close and slowly I have come to fall madly in love with her, and vise versa. She is a wonderful, caring, beautiful person that I cherish with all of my heart...Sadly though her boyfriend is the biggest dick I have ever met. He is immature. selfish, and only wants her for his own pleasure. It breaks my heart how he treats her. He treats her like an object, only desiring sex from her it seems. He doesnt touch her like I do, I know that for certain. She means the world to me and deserves so much more then the asshole she is with...I cant stand hearing her cry over him, he isnt worthy of hurting her feeling... I get frusterated and yell at her for letting someone treat her so poorly, its so upseting. If I were you I wouldnt let this wonderful girl slip away from you, you seem to love her a great deal...I think you should go out there and carry her off into the sunset lol. Good luck dear.
thanks for responding innocentpoison, it means alot. I am so confused its unreal check out my new thread its in the relationships section called "please read".
