I'm really scared

about 3 days after i broke up with my boyfriend this guy that i was friends with decided he wanted to kiss me and tell me he wanted to be with me. i told him it was way too soon and i didn't want anything like that now. he ended up getting kicked out of his house and i can't just let the poor kid stay anywhere so i brought him to my house. things would happen when we were drunk or something and i never thought anything of it and i thought he felt the same way. then he would never leave and he was so clingy. he just always had to be touching me and i hated that. then one night we got in an argument about how i was leading him on which is bullshit bc i told him i didn't want a relationship. then one night i was saying i wanted to go to california and he said to wait for him to go and i said ok. about an hour later he brings it up again and i was like, dude we already talked about this and he kept saying no we didn't when i know for sure we did. i knew that he just wanted to be babied and hear me tell him of course i won't go without you, i wouldn't dream of that. i'm not that kind of chick, i'm not into babying guys...especially when i know he's looking for it. then he kept yelling. i can't deal with yelling bc i had a bad childhood and it makes me really scared, he knows this but still he continues to do it. he kept trying to rub up on me and i just kept saying do no touch me. then i decided i couldn't take it anymore and i was gonna leave. he said, no i'm leaving and he gets up and i hear all this glass shatter and i lost it. i was crying so hard, i didn't know what he was doing. then i got up to leave and he grabbed my wrists so i pulled away hard and ran upstairs as fast as i could. i grabbed the keys and as i was running out the door i could hear him running behind me and screaming NOOOO. i got so scared then and i screamed as i was running to the car, i hopped into it and i locked the doors. he stood behind the car and said he wasn't gonna let me leave so i started the car up anyway and started backing out slowly. then he jumps on top of the car and i kept going really slow cuz i just wanted to leave, i didn't wanna hurt him. i went to my friends house and in the meantime he left mine. he had some of my clothes and my cd's so i called him and told him i was gonna pick them up and i made this chick go with me cuz i was scared to go by myself. he opens the door, tosses the shit in, closes it and walks away. when i was making sure everything was in there i saw he put his journal in the bag. it scared me bc the only thing it talked about was either me or music. to make matters even more weird, my friend tells me that he talked to one of her friends and said that his old friend "stole" me from him. i was never with him and i was never with his friend. it's like this kid makes things up in his mind and really believes them bc he lies so much. then a couple days ago i had a dream that i decided to hang out with him and he tied me up and was holding a knife to my throat and another one to my chest. the freaky thing is i really could imagine him just snapping and doing something like that. i'm scared to death of this kid and i don't know what to do bc he could be anywhere and any time.

 

Moral: when you sleep with a guy a few times, he might get the idea you like him.

 

shit that isnt good, if he comes anywhere near you again phone the police. If you feel really bad about him get a intruder alarm, panick alarms etc. Maybe ask a friend to stay with you while just till you feel a bit better. he does sound a bit wierd and you are very lucky you got away from him cause anything could have happened. you could even go to your local police station and explain this to them and they might be able to help you, if i were you i would go and get some councelling about your childhood, dreams etc. im sure you will be ok though xxx

 

i totally understand that and agree with it. but it is possible for someone to be really cool until something happens and you see another side of them. a side that you know you can't deal with. that's what happened to me. i did like him until i saw that psychotic look in his eyes and knew it would never work out. i'm glad i saw it before i got deeper into it though...i think i was lucky.

 

All's I'm saying is better quality control on the dudes you're with FIRST.

Look at Cher. Hocking vitamins on TV. "You want to be really careful with what you put in your body" and I'm like "hey! you married Gregg Allman!"

 

to me that doesn't make sense bc i've watched my mom go through a lot of relationships and i believe that people can change or only show you the side they want you to see until something happens and the other side dominates. i know for a fact she wouldn't agree to marry a guy that would beat her ass but she still married a guy and after they were married she got the shit beat out of her.

 

get a big ass dog

 

get a restraining order and surround yourself with people, but don't live in fear...that will make you feel worse and worse. make sure you spend lots of time with friends and doing things you enjoy.

furthermore, you don't always know a person will be an asshole until you let your guard down a little more. abusers and psychopaths often hide who they really are in order to get what they want...then once they feel they have it, start to show their true colors. i am tired of the men on here telling the women that abuse and crazy men are their faults because they somehow "drove him to be that way" or "led him on." i could understand a guy maybe being upset and dissapointed, but flying off the handle, completely losing temper, completely losing control and being destructive? that's some fucked up shit, and most jilted men who are civilized won't act that way. stop blaming the victims! this is why domestic abuse continues to be trivialized. victims of domestic abuse or rape (male and female victims alike) somehow "ask" to be abused? i'm sorry, nobody ASKS to be treated like shit. i'm sorry!

 

damn i want to help t0 make a diference,, sux, you may not remmeber me but i remeber you

 

Confucius say 'woman who attracted to asshole, always first to complain he an asshole'.

 

uh, being an "asshole" is one thing. being an "abuser" is completely another. she is "complaining" because this guy tried to ATTACK her and that is NEVER okay! furthermore, guys who ARE assholes rarely show their true colors until you are with them for a time...that's when they feel it's okay to show who they really are, which is an asshole. but this guy OBVIOUSLY didn't appear to be an asshole until this event. so shut the fuck up.

 

uhh, ya I like that! Men...God love ya...sometimes you aren't so bright. It's Ok for men to sleep with wmoen without knowing them too well, but a woman sleeps with a man under the same context and suddenly that is permission to act the fool. Nope sorry, not buyin it!

 

Christ!!! Another one. *sigh* ok lets stand up once again, we'll start with the refrain "neverending storrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeey....."

 

So many people are mentally unbalanced these days (kids just aren't getting what they need at home) and relationships (even imaginary ones) tend to bring out the most psychotic aspects of a personality.


It's almost getting to the point where people fall into one of two catagories; either they get way too clingy way too fast, or they're almost completely unavailable emotionally.
Put one person from each catagory together and you've got the makings for a really good country song.

 

When you go to California, please make sure that you don't hang out with the same kind of guy.

 

Kid, when you're old enough to maybe wipe your own ass, you might just get it. If you are dumb enough to believe assholes are all oscar class actors who deceive poor, little innocents who - always - thought the guy was really, really nice and yummy....... until he suddenly became Mr Nasty, then that is your problem.

Part of the attraction for this young lady was her gut instinct that he wasn't Mr Nice. She might not like that fact, but as I'm over 20 years older than you, I reckon I am in a slightly better position to 'spot' certain female patterns of behaviour.

Women have a far better built in barometer than men do for the 'type' of person she is with. Some women, however, often choose to ignore this, as they are attracted by a hint of danger, arrogance, uncertainty, etc etc that the classic asshole has........no matter HOW good an actor he is.

Now, you can choose to accept this or not. I don't care. But being abusive because you disagree with my original post, or that I wasn't exactly overcome with sympathy for the original postee's whining about how awful some nasty men are, is REALLY grown up of you, isn't it? Wait, I better let you go;.... I'm sure I hear Mommy calling for your bedtime.

 

Wow, that’s so incredibly ignorant I don’t know where to begin. I take it, with your age and years of wisdom, you've studied psychology, sociology, and abuse in general rather extensively; and you're opinion is really just some form of farce. I mean, if you have studied this stuff, you'd know that most abusive people really are that good at hiding their nature. They're so good at it they get their victims to believe they're the one at fault. Sure, there might have been warning signs and gut instinct involved, but being experienced enough to interpret them and make the right decision isn't a factor in where the blame lies, or how abuse should be regarded. Had she kept her mouth shut about it, thinking she deserved it, then she might have had some deeper issues to deal with, but even then, it wouldn't be her fault. What really pisses me off about this is belittling the situation makes someone who's been abused think they won't be taken seriously. It's a form of abuse in itself. I mean, if he'd killed her; you're basically saying she would have deserved it. That's idiotic...

 

Salamander - be this as it may, that doesn't give him the right to hit her nor does it make it her fault he did.

 

to make matters even more weird, my friend tells me that he talked to one of her friends and said that his old friend "stole" me from him. i was never with him and i was never with his friend
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Sweety, I've run into this shit many times, first hand and also friends of mine. Lottsa guys (women too I would assume but I've never dealt with breaking up with them,lol) can't stand the idea or responsibilty that it was their behavior that ended it so they rather believe that its because another person is involved. Easier on the ego to believe its because you cheated than to believe the truth, that they may have been found lacking in some qualities.
Obsessive behavior like the journal isn't totally abnormal with young people either but is another warning sign. Just steer clear. Sex does change everything and not everyone treats it as a casual indoor sport. Saying you didn't want a relationship then taking him into your home and sleeping with him gave him mixed signals, along with conversations it appears you both had, especially after he told you how he felt.

 

WHOA! hold on here, big boy! i'm sorry, but all of your posts smack of a man who is pompous, arrogant, and emotionally unstable. yes, i said it: EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. you are obviously coming up with these crackpot theories of women only being attracted to assholes because YOU still have some issues with a past hurt, obviously. i don't know your past, present, or future, but your cynicism towards women in general is extremely disturbing. maybe you should get some help? i would be afraid to meet you in real life, because you speak so lowly of women in general in MOST of your posts. you basically say that women are attracted to asswipes, and in general deserve what they get. so if this guy did kill her, that would be his right, because she should have known he was an asshole, right? or because she drove him to the brink of insanity because his "love" for her was so intense, and the fact that she didn't reciprocate his feelings drove him to harm her. that's seriously fucked up and disturbing.

that was me judging you based on something you wrote...

i may be young in years, but i'm wiser than you think. you think years always give a person wisdom. i believe that years will give a person EXPERIENCE. that's a given. but wisdom? obviously not for you. in every post you repeat yourself, saying the same thing over and over. you don't come off as a very wise person to me. i'm not saying you AREN'T because you very well may be. it's hard to gauge what kind of person you really are because how you present yourself in print is much different than who you really are. these impressions i'm getting on you are based solely in what you write. i guess what i'm trying to say is, you judged something i wrote as unwise, then you looked at my age and said, "stupid little kid," and formed a rant for me, when you have no idea who i am.

for the record, most kids learn how to wipe their ass when they're toilet trained, and that was quite a few years ago for me, my friend. oh, and i don't live with my mommy. haven't since i was 17.