i don't even know why i'm writing this, probably cos i don't know anyone here personally so no-one can force me to get better. i don't eat because i am sad. i don't want to get better, i don't want help, i don't want sympathy, i don't know what i want, i don't know why i am writing this. i can't tell anyone i know how i am feeling because, well i don't know why not actually. i don't want anyone to know there is anything wrong. i am losing weight and i like it which is scary but also feels good. i don't don't why i am saying all this, i just feel like i'm carrying it all around i am so lonely but i have so many friends, i don't understand. and although i have so many friends i am now telling people i don't even know how i feel. i don't understand anything.
You've got a serious case of the 'Brit Blues' !!!. Okay: have a swig of:' Flight From Ashiya's Old Elixir Wonder-Tonic' & place this nice relaxing C.D. on your player & chill out to comforting aural vibes:
ha ha, oh my god, hold me back baby he's gorgeous... yeah you may be right, brit blues happen a lot. thanks, i haven't laughed for a while
yeah i love that cd listening to unkle no-one knows at the moment sorry, hate being miserable, but its just how i feel. don't wanna tell my friends tho cos no-one wants to sit and listen to someone else's problems. oh well, another night, another party, i'll just get wrecked and shut it all out...
sometimes i just wanna hug y'know? someone to put their arms around me and make everything seem better. i wanna be held so tight that no sickness or sadness can get to me anymore.
What is that makes you feel bad? I mean,what's causing you to feel down or unhappy? I'm sorry...wish I could give you a big hug,though
i don't know really. the thing is, i have lots and lots of friends, i go out nearly every night, we go to bars, to parties, i work two jobs, i go to uni, i have a gorgeous boyfriend, on paper my life looks almost perfect. but i have been starving myself for weeks and i can't eat properly and i just feel inexplicably sad and empty. i don't know whats wrong. its like all my friends are behind some invisible barrier which is all around me, and even when i am surrounded by them i am still separated and alone.
thankyou for replying though, i don't wanna waste people's energy by being so depressing. i think i only made this thread cos these feelings have been eating away at me and i had to get them out SOMEWHERE.
Maybe because you are so active that you are getting too many highs followed by too many lows. Perhaps you need to slow down a little & make nice appetizing food that you cannot resist & only have special friends in your life & not just socialisers?. Also maybe your self-expectations are too high. I dunno - I just think you should be wary of the slimming disease: anorexia.
hi hi hi sorry!!!!!!!! about this thread, i was feeling so low when i wrote it. i am feeling better today because people i know have told me i lost weight which is good (i need to lose a bit) and i just got back from a party which always makes me feel good cos my friends were all there. i do have a lot of friends who are v. close to me but my best friend in the whole world just told me he's moving to france. maybe that's why i've been down.
i'm not better, in fact i think i'm worse. i have been making myself sick after eating. i haven't binged (unless you count the sandwich and chocolate bar i had tonight) but as soon as i eat anything which i didn't plan to eat earlier in the day, then i make myself sick so that i know i haven't strayed from my eating plan. the thing is, you would think that i would be losing weight but i'm still grossly fat and disgusting. i don't know what to do. i don't want to be this fucked up about eating but then again i really want to lose this weight, which i just can't do in a normal way. does anyone have any suggestions? they would be much appreciated as i am going out of my mind with frustration.
It sounds to me like you may have a serious case of depression. Inexplicably depressed, feeling like your friends are far awar even though they are right there. I know the feelings, but not on very large scale. Perhaps you should seek professional help?
How odd....you seem intelligent .... so you know that not eating/inducing vomiting means you'll be dead soon........strange girl
