S&M Help.

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Who_Killed_Marilyn, Aug 7, 2005.

  1. Who_Killed_Marilyn

    Who_Killed_Marilyn Member

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    Alright.
    So I don't know how to go about this situation. I'm a masochist. I love being put down, bitten (especially), and pushed around. If I'm ever with a guy and he asks about my fetishes and I tell him about my masochism obsession, he kinda backs down. It seems like I can't find anyone to be my sadist, fuck...I can't seem to keep anyone at all once I tell them what I like.

    Should I keep to myself about my wants?
    Should it be all about him?
    *Sigh*, where can I find a sadist.
     
  2. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

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    heh... a true sadist would deny you what you truly want....

    as for an aggressive boy who'll treat you like you want... you may have to move into specialty sites like www.alt.com to try and hook up with someone who has similar interests.
     
  3. toolmaggot

    toolmaggot Nuts Go Here.

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    Keep looking, I promise you there's plenty of sadist boys out there.

    And don't be afraid to voice your wants. If he doesn't like it, tie him down and beat the shit out of him. Make him do it.
     
  4. Lodui

    Lodui One Man Orgy

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    Cheer up emo kid. You're still young. A lot of people are late bloomers into kinky stuff.

    I didn't know I like S&M til I was 19 and my girlfriend asked me to toss her around. I was a wimp at first too, I was scared I was gonna hurt her til I realised thats what she wanted.

    Once you get a saftey word everything is fair play. [​IMG]
     
  5. babybud420

    babybud420 Member

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    wish you lived here, id hook you up with some guys I know. They would love to please you.
     
  6. stonr

    stonr Member

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    i dunno if looking for a sadist on the net is a great idea.
     
  7. cymru_jules

    cymru_jules Member

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    You could try http://www.bondage.com

    Bondage covers a broad subject, so don't be put off... covers s+m. It sounds like you're not that sure about yourself either so taking a peak at some of the other stuff may help to explore your sexuality. On the other hand, you may find it that perverted it may put you off for good! There are chatty friendly forums and stuff, and when you actually start reading profiles you seem everybody is quite normal, from accountants to lawyers, etc. Probably some hippies too!

    With regards of what stonr said, obviously common sense is important to stay safe... beware of people trying to take advantage of newbies! I looked on the site out of idle curiosity personally... can't say I've tried it myself though, not sure I want to either - so maybe they ARE all wackos! ;)
     
  8. Who_Killed_Marilyn

    Who_Killed_Marilyn Member

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    The hooking up with an online sadist doesn't seem like to good of an idea though.

    Earlier ihmurria said a sadist would deny what I truly want. Does that mean, he'll back down and not talk to me for several weeks? Not even with a name calling or anything?

    There is one boy, though. But I know he's afraid to physically hurt me. He's great atthe name calling and put downs, but when it comes down ot it he always seems timid. I'm afraid he's just giving me what he wants rather than doing it for the better of himself.

    Then again, I'm not an experienced masochist. So tips are welcomed.
     
  9. cymru_jules

    cymru_jules Member

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    Like most alternative sexual activity, talking about it properly with your partner seems your best bet, make sure they know exactly what you want rather than giving vague hints. If he says, "Sorry, I don't want to do that to you!" then that will be that and you will know where you stand - simple! If he agrees and then still falls short of your desires then perhaps you didn't make it clear enough.

    I still think you sounds a little confused and unsure (I guess if you were absolutley sure, you wouldn't be posting on here about it). Therefore, research your fetish. And indeed, many of the aforementioned sites have forums with posts and questions just like yours - you are more likely to get sound advice there than from people here. It doesn't mean you *have* to meet any of them! Same as this forum/group in that respect.
     
  10. Who_Killed_Marilyn

    Who_Killed_Marilyn Member

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    I really appreciate all of this.

    Thanks.
     
  11. Aerosolhalos

    Aerosolhalos Member

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    Haha, wow. You must be the first girl in history to be upset that men are too NICE to you..
     
  12. parnell

    parnell Member

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    Tbh I couldnt have a relationship with a woman who liked paid ... did try once - I was bangin her (hard) she started bleedin and cryin out for more ... I was like ... wtf this chic gets off on pain... dumped her and broke her heart - worst thing was she was a real good girl ... I haveta wonder if sh had been abused to be honest. Hope that you stay very safe.
     
  13. Who_Killed_Marilyn

    Who_Killed_Marilyn Member

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    I'm sure there are plenty of girls like me.
    You just have to keep your eyes open ;).
     
  14. cymru_jules

    cymru_jules Member

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    It's quite normal though, because it's in our instincts. Females tend to be more submissive, and males more dominant - it goes back to caveman times and you can see it throughout the animal kingdom! It came about through evolution and basically because the ones that didn't feel like this were more likely to die out because they didn't reproduce.

    Of course - it's not a rule - you can get submissive males and dominat females, and you can also get examples of people who like to be particulary submissive and slapped about a bit like yourself! We also have a caring instinct though, which is why it's difficult to find somebody that can get you off on this unless they are familiar with it all already.

    Ultimatley, I imagine it can be very frustrating...!
     
  15. bauer

    bauer Member

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    Isn't there any alternative club/pubs/parties around where you live?
     
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