thats an intersting question actualy.. when i was younger i had too many probly.. & at times acted like a real asshole but in recent years had too few & probly my only real good ones (and a few bad too) i think my character in general ha never been better.. i mean i still got things that need improvement ofcourse.. but i'm happier with who i am in general.. but that could just be from gaining maturity too..
I learn a lot from every relationship ive been in. I take the good and bad and use it as a guide of what i do and do not want in the future. Im always learnin about myself, and that helps me to become the person im goin to be
Having a relationship with a person, who had too many bad relationships is virtually impossible, becouse that person brings too much bad stuff form previous relationships into new ones. I think. Bad relationships made me choose women more carefully with my eyes wide open.
it might... but that all depends on what you got from each relationship you had. if they were meaningful then your experience would have been a good one (hopfully) and you would progress onto bettering yourself etc.. if all the relationships you have had have been short and meaningless, then maybe you havent found the right person.. or you are a whore?? haha i dont know.. i have never had a boyfriend before. I am 18 years old.. does that mean that I am destined to be alone?? hope not.. haha
actualy i supose some of the ones i think of as bad were realy good relationships that just ended badly..lol
shadowd_dreamr finding the right person is a bitch especially if you live in a small country (2 milion) where people are a little introverted (consequence of communism) and full of complexes. Small village atmosphere. What can you do with liberty if you still have Berlin wall in your head?
nah, you'll find someone But as so many people say it's hard to find the right one, I'm sure you'll manage tho And as for if it affects your character, well ofcourse it does... Everytime you do something right or wrong in life it leaves a note in your mind, all those notes however small they might be, your mind reads everytime before you take action... That way they determine your behaviour and character... Like if you burn yourself on the hotplate, then next time you're feeling dizzy you'll probably put your hand somewhere else
Of course it affects you no doubt about it. IF you try not to make the same mistakes again one fails because you always pick the same kind of guy .
That often is true, particularly if they were the one being hurt more than the one hurting the other person (like a woman in an abusive relationship (compared to the abuser) or a nice guy who had some manipulative bitch walk all over him). It can make you scared, expecting everyone to treat you the way a few assholes/bitches did. A lot of people have bad patterns that lead them to go for the same type of person over and over, then when they finally meet a nice person they expect him/her to be abusive or manipulative or whatever just like all the ones before. But, I don't know anyone who doesn't have major issues that lead to problems in a relationship, whether it's from bad romantic relationships in the past, from issues with one or both parents, from having been raped when younger, from fear of commitment, or from a million other possibilities. If you want to have a long-term, successful, fulfilling relationship, you'll have to work thru some of your own issues as well as some of your partner's issues.
dawn sky, I like what you have to say. in my opinion, we all have some sort of issues in relationships, with ourselves or our partner. Relationships are not static, so they will never be active and yet finished, so growth will continually be involved, or at least the potential for it. noone is perfect, and there is no such thing as a 'perfect' relationship. perfection is a finished state and theres no such thing as a finished relationship, unless you're broken up. though the needed effort varies for individuals, it is possible for us to all reach an organic, sublime state of relationships in our lifetime. I guess I'd call this a dynamic symbiosis. however i think any folks who are there very early in life are far and few between. people in some relationships make life a lot easier for themselves by approaching issues and problems as avenues for growth and learning. this could be juxtaposed to those who chronically have relationships they characterize as bad. i believe we attract certain people for a reason. there is nothin random about it, no matter how much it may seem just by chance. Life will send people the same message until they hear it, so, life will send similar relationships until there is growth. While those who have continually had 'bad' relationships may have a personal inertia of their own expectations and experience working against them, every new relationship is a seed of potential that could grow to great proportions. in this picture, both people are part of the seed. One person may sprout and simply move onto someone they can grow more with, if the other half doesn't germinate at all. both may sprout and support eachother's development until further notice. and as always both may do nothing and continue to be stuck in the same patterns, with eachother or with the next person and next person and next person. my opinion is a work in progress, imperfection abound : )
i honor the bad relationships i have had because in their struggles, my growth has surpassed what i would have learned on my own.... i haven't had many bad relationships....just ones that i grew out of.... as long as you take the lessons and apply them to the next....well then you are following the call...if you take the badness of them and close your heart, you are missing the beautiful melody that love could create in your life
It depends on how bad the relationship was, if it was really horrible than you might become more cold or paranoid toward future lovers. I never experienced this personally, but then I don't usually get into relationships with people.
