ok, how do u know if ur gay? i am a girl. i have attractions and crushes to other girls, but not sexual attractions. am i gay?
I have had questions like that as well... although I like men, I adore them actually, I've had strange desires related to women and I even posted a profile on a personals site looking for a woman to try new stuff with. I dropped it in the end, it wasn't for me you know (personals). But I still wish I could have an affair with someone of my own sex, it would be cool and insane, just absolutely UNLIKE me which sounds great! Like discovering new stuff about myself. I think I'm really gonna go for it, at least once, you know just to see what it's like so I can say 'been there done that" ) This strange attraction could also be explain by the fact that the first person I ever kissed was a girl, a friend, when I was like 13 or something. We're not gay however, we're just curious and vaguely bi-sexual, but I think that's already too much to say. Sexuality is a complex thing so don't jump to conclusions... I just think we're alright, straight... and veeeeery curious, haha . Kisses, Shirley
I think answering the question "Am I gay"? is not important. It's your reason for even asking the question in the first place that you should be looking at. Ask yourself Why you feel the need to label yourself? I say screw the labels. So you prefer guys but you have feelings or have had an attraction to another girl. So do most of your peers. I say who gives a ff?! Why all the boundaries? Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride called life..... dance like nobody is watching...
I think that unless you can actually have a meaningful relationship with the same sex AND have a physical relationship, that's usually a good indicator of whether you're "gay" or not. It could mean that you're bisexual too, but I don't think that simply finding a slight attraction to a sex means anything. I like girls and find it pretty disgusting to even think about sex with males, but I do find the occasional male pretty or...well not hot, but whatever is a good substitute for "hot"...I usually just call them pretty. But I agree with iamwhatiam. Screw the labels! I just decided a few days ago that I refuse to ever call myself a lesbian again. I may or may not have been high when writing this so it's wordy but I'll go ahead and copy/paste my journal entry on the subject. I've been meaning to splurge on this tid bit for a while. My whole...lesbian/bi/gay/whatever issue. Maybe I already have and never got to my actual point...ah yes, when I was talking about Zach, the prettiest boy I've ever seen. Got a little confused there, but I think I forgot my main point. I always debate on what to call myself now because there ARE males that I'm attracted to. Having to catagorize myself as ANYTHING sound terrible. Saying I'm a lesbian sounds so disgusting. I think because there's so much negative stigma attached to it, it just sounds like something that was made for the porn industry to sound sexy or for straighties to mock the gay ones with. It doesn't sound like a way of life, it sounds like some terrible thing to call someone. Lesbian...it sounds like pure sex. Dirty sex...looked down upon...disgusted. Ack, it sounds bad. And gay, gay sounds wonderful for men or dykes. I'm neither so that just doesn't sound right. Bisexual sounds grotesque to me. I'm not bisexual. I think that sounds even worse than lesbian, mind you it's not the fact that they like both sexes, it's just once again the negative stigma attached. The horrible...name with it. It sounds like dirty filthy sex...and not in the hot sort of way. And straight...well I'm obviously not that. That seems almost foreign to call myself straight. I don't want to be called anything, it all sounds so dirty and so...negatively labeled. Homosexual, while it says a lot about a person and it IS true, once it's applied to a person it sounds disgusting. I think I will refuse to call myself anything again. There's too many rules to follow, it's ridiculous to catagorize myself, it's...not right for me. Whatever floats other people's boats, fine, but not for me. I simply am me. The End. When asked I'll admit to it, but I refuse to "introduce" myself as a lesbianAnd so that's how the cookie crumbles. ::Then I said yada yada yada, I'll go ahead and post this tid bit just because it was really meaningful to me:: Someone once told me "what does it matter what sex the person is as long as you love them?" Very true...but that doesn't speak for sex...that's a whooooooole different story. I don't see why anyone should have to care what sex a person is...it's love what matters. It's ridiculous to include the sex of a person...now the actual act, that's something different.
Hey sneekysquared. Your diary entry really set me thinking, everything you said there is so true and I never thought about it before. But then, isn't that the society that destroys the individual? That their labels and irony has the power to bind anything to its model? F* society, screw them. Who could speak better of your life than yourself? Just be what you wanna be and nevermind the categories they wanna squeeze you in. Just like that thing that being a woman and being sensual imply lack of intelligence and that women can't do mathematics and a lot of bothering matters - all that becaus of labels and social pressure. I know women who won't wear skirts because people will think them sluts,and that's SO SAD! You should dress the way you feel, not feel hindered by what others might say. And yet many of us are. Nobody should judge as nobody is perfect. Just because they're straight doesn't make them better and besides, it's the emotional and spiritual side that matters, not a physical preference, and sex is just sex and if you love it's even better... just think sex is like going to a restaurant - it's even better if you're accompanied by someone you love. Hey, catch ya later! Shirley
I knew when I was 13, even younger in fact. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to know at any particular age. If you're feeling attractions for girls and women but not for boys and men, that's a strong indication that you're probably gay or lesbian. If you feel attractions for both, you may very well be bisexual. Don't worry about a label so much as about being the best and happiest you that you can be.
It's not a esxual thing (mostly). If you fall in love wiht a woman or know that you could, then yes, most likely you are a lesbian or bisexual.
