Still Questioning, What am I?

I'm 21 years old and I'd like to think I'm comfortable with my sexual orientation, the thing is, I don't really no what it is. All of my significant others have been female, including my current one, yet I've always had a curiosity, an empathy with gay men. I have dreams every once in a while about making love to a man. Its even possible for me to maturbate to gay guys on the femmy side. I'm not afraid of this, but I don't know what to make of it. I don't think of myself as bisexual as my preference leans much more towards women. I also don't really conform to any gay sterotypes, my place is a pig sty and my fashion sense fits into the slacker category.

On the other hand, gay culture is so cool. If I'm not gay then I must be something a male "fag hag." The only bars I enjoy myself in are gay bars. I have also experimented a wee bit.

A few weeks ago I went to this party that was hosted by a friend, Sai, a gay guy who works for Disney who got me and my girlfriend in for free in early June for gay days. I totally forgot he was gay and invited a couple straight friends who in retrospect I should have known would have had a problem with it. We went in there and played a card based drinking game that had some spin the bottle elements. I kissed a few guys there as part of the game, (my girl way cheering me on, she is totally aroused by guy on guy). A little later, my straight friends, a little disgusted, walked out and I went back to Sai's room to play some strip poker with 4 other guys. I didn't get a full erection and I left the room a couple rounds after getting naked when the semi orgy started. I wasn't sure if Irina, my girl would be ok with although later she told me I should have gone all the way, preferably with pictures. There was also a guy who kept complementing me and seemed like he was hitting on me. He wasn't bad looking either. I had fun playing along but I was a bit more leery in front of my straight friends. On the way home, I used the excuse with my guy friends that I had like 9 drinks, which was a lie as I wasn't really that drunk.

I don't know. I would like to experiment a bit more. I don't know if I could settle on a guy but it still puts me in a bit of a role conflict. What am I?

 

Yup. You're gay all right.

 

Either: don't worry about it.

Or: date a man, at some point.

If your curiousity is great enough to allow you to see a man, it's worth investigating. However, your comfort with that thought is another issue...

 

i think being bi must be gorgeous: able to respond 2 all and sundry and being potentially attractive 2 the entire population must also be good 4 the morale. i'd call u 'very lucky'.

 

btw, is ur cyber name a pun or something darkly unconscious?

 

You certainly sound at least bisexual to me. I would encourage you to explore these feelings as much as possible.

 

It Sonds Like My Life At 21. Now 36 And Comeing Out
Lost Boy7 X

 

Maybe your girlfriend will let you have a boyfriend on the side.

 

Heh heh, faggot. And uhhhhhh...to the post above, chicks usually aren't down with thier dudes having multiple partners.

 

I was fine for my ex to have a boyfriend, as he allowed me to have a girlfriend if I wanted. Depends on the chick.

 

WEAN I WAS 21 I DID NOT UNDERSAND HOW I FELT I HAD JUST GOT MAREIDE
AND WORKING AT A GAY BAR AND I GOT OFF WITH A GUY. I AM NOW 36 AND I KNOW I AM NOTT 100% STR8T BUT I THINK OF MY SELF AS OPEN MINDED JUST BE YOUR SELF AND THE ONES THAT REELY LOVE YOU WILL UNDER STAND

 

Okay, maybe not usually. It happens. Trust me. It really does happen.