my boyfriend AND i have been together for over two years, iwas 15 and he was 18 when me met, i love him so much, but he is an airforce brat and im a small town hippie girl, and we are having problems starting a life together because we want totally different lives, i want to be a hippy and live in the words and smoke pot the rest of my life and he wants to quit smoking weed and join the airforce, he says he wont be able to be with me if i live this life but its who i am and i cant sacrifice who i am, do you think we can make it?
i'm sorry, but no. marriage is about compromise. one of you must compromise, but must also find some balance if you both want to be happy... a lot of times ppl grow in different directions and you just move on... you should both figure out what you want out of life.. you've already stated that you wont compromise, so i think he'll have to be the one to do what you want.. and do you think he'll be happy with that, or resent you later on?
Lifestyles are important in a relationship and you need to have the same goals or things could get ugly. You shouldn't have to give up something you want to be with someone.
Agreed, live in the woods and smoke pot with me instead. Really, thats pretty much my litmus test. Quit weed to join the airforce...wow, I have trouble even understanding the motivation behind that.
"I want to be a hippy and live in the words and smoke pot the rest of my life" I hope that you were using stereotypes to illustrate your problem. If you seriously included "smoke pot" as of your life goals, I don't think you are ready for any kind of life commitment. I'm not trying to beat up on you, but to point out that your descriptions include relativly unimportant factors. May I offer this "homework" assignment for the two of you: Assume that the two of you marry. Each of you seperatly write down in detail, what your life will be like in 10 years. Not a description of your wishes, but what do you predict your life will be like. Where will you live? How many kids? Will you rent or own a home? What will you do with your free time? How many cars will you own? What will you do on holidays? This should take about a week to write. After you are done, compare the descriptions. What of each description is important to each of you? What is not? Discussing this with him will give you a better idea of your chances than our guesses across the internet. (BTW, you are 18, he is 21, statisticaly your chances are lousey. But your relationship is different than most so maybe...)
anyway 17 years old is kinda young to decide your futur lifestyle in 10 years, for the moment all you want is smoking joints, but you'll get over it one day, trust me, I know you won't right now, but eventually you will.
