We live in a time of "seemingly" an over-whelming amount of single parent families. It's becoming increasingly difficult for those singles without kids to find childless mates. I have a few relatives who are young, single, and childless. They are adamant in their refusal to get involved with someone who has a ready-made family. What are your thoughts on this issue?
i think people who are destined to come together do. i see happy blended families everywhere. the people who are adamant in their refusal to even TRY dating or meeting someone with a kid are depriving themselves of a meaningful opportunity to not only fall in love with a mother or father, but gain a loving family as well. sometimes it doesn't work...for instance, a man will fall in love with a woman, but won't click well with or even dislike, her children. at that point, it's up to the mother to choose between a man who can't ever love her children or her children...in my opinion, kids come first, but that's a completely different discussion altogether. if i met and fell in love with a man with kids, i love kids so much i would probably love his kids like my own. it might be different if his kids were teenagers or adults. at that point you're not really required to take on a parental roll....but it's still good to try to at least get along with and enjoy the company of your sig. other's kids. my dad and his girlfriend both have kids and are unmarried and her and her kids spend time with my dad and me and my sister, and we have a good time. we're all adults, anyway, so it's more like a bunch of adults hanging out together anyway...that's my input on the issue...
I just got married in April. My new hubby took on two 'fatherless'(two different fathers but never involved) teenagers. This man basically picked us all up. I was working 12 to 18 hours a day and completely burned out. I had even gotten to the point that I really just couldn't care anymore. I met this guy at work, he's 16 years older than me. He was in a live in relationship for 25 years(a relationship he stayed in for over 20 of it because he didn't want to loose his son,his first wife wouldn't let him see first son really tore him up)(separate bedrooms completely separate lives etc) anyway he was still living with her for the first two years of our relationship and really didn't have much to do with my kids( they knew of him that was about it). Then he moved in a year before we got married and jumped right into it. He loves them like they were his own. Life doesn't come perfect like they like to tell us it should. Men who would be totally turned off by helping to raise anothers child.............who needs them........they'll get their own reality check someday
if the person with a family is a good parent, then it is an indicator of how they might be if you had children together, as well as how he might treat you in the future once the novelty of the relationship wears off. if he's abusive, irresponsible, negligent, rude to his kids, etc, he'll probably be the same way towards me down the road. if he is indifferent to his kids, i wouldnt get involved with him either. if he's loving, involved, attentive, and listens to his kids, it shows that he'll probably be good to me, too. one of my major concerns about getting involved with someone who has children, is well, the kids. i'd worry that we'd grow attached and bond, and that a break-up might be difficult for them. my dad hasn't been around since my brother was 2, and when my step-dad walked out when my brother was 14, he was beside himself. he took it personally, thinking that all male figures will desert him. he felt that their bonding was now rendered meaningless. he didnt feel comfortable talking to my mom about certain things that he'd talk to our step-dad about. his father figure was gone. i would be afraid of doing that to some other kid. especially when there is more than one kid, and the extra attention from another adult might be needed even more.
