I manage to always screw things up, I really do. I'm in love with someone, and I just always screw it up, It's like a monthly thing. Once a month we get into a huge fight about stupid stuff. There's so much I want, Need to talk to him about but he's been avoiding me for the last few hours. I don't blame him though, I was being an idiot. He knows I'm such a fool for him, I'm wrapped around his finger. Every song I own, I listen to, and It reminds me of him, I don't know if it's over or not. But I know I was wrong for what I've said, But, I just want to tell him. I don't know. This is horrible, I so just realized, I used Cranberries lyrics. Wow, I'm lame. If, I do get a second chance. I have to really try and not screw things up, like always. He's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.. I just keep, Blowing it all up. And guh. I should just. Stop.
You said this happens once a month? Does this correlate with your monthly cycle? I know I can be the devil incarnate during my cycle or the week preceding my cycle. If that's the case, maybe you need to try a hormonal balancer, or heck, maybe even improving your diet... Just a thought.
Yeah, I'm on birth control, It's going on my second month of being on it. But, Lately. It's made me feel worse, Depressed a lot, Feeling like I just want to die
I believe that we find people in our lives that help us realise things about ourselves and the world around us. sometimes these relationships dont last forever, but they however significant these relationships might be, they still leave us something, perohaps with the unconscious intention of not making the same mistakes if we ever get the chance to move on.... sometimes its best to let go of some relationships, because what you needed to know about yourself and others has already been learned and its time to move on, despite the fact that there's emotion involved. in most of our relationships there's some degree of emotional involvement, and it's just normal, we're that way. but only so, you can actually find what you really and truly want out of the whole deal called life. heartbreak is a really painful emotion. i guess everyone has to go through it eventually. but i guess if its something that we all should experience at one point in our lives, it may mean that it wasnt the right way, or the right person...but not necessarily a "mistake", just part of the whole "learning process" I just hope you get through this, if you ever get back together, well, i wish you luck. if not, be happy that you have been able to have sincere feelings for someone. not everyone can do that.
You need to become more reliant on yourself and not depend on him. From what it sounds like you have lost your own personality and seriously need to consider having time aparnt. Not necessarily braking up, but you have to have time to yourself otherwise you will end up fighting over trival things and beome dependant on him.
