I've been reading an Introduction to Existentialism. It's helping me out with questioning my purpose in life and finding answers to better myself. One question I've asked myself lately is why am I so lonely? I find it is because I don't really feel sympathy for myself. People tell me if you want to solve that problem you need to find an interest or hobby. I've decided to get into art and I like to read. The only problem is that no matter what hobby I find interest in I always end up feeling lonely, frustrated, depressed, angry, etc. I can never find anyone in my city that's got the same interest in things that I do. So what's a loner suppose to do? Right now I'm trying to enjoy spending time by myself, so that I can learn to love myself. People say, "If you can't feel sympathy for yourself then how can you feel sympathy for others?" Can anyone help me out?
yo bruda, you sound pretty smart already, and you are not alone and there are a lot of people who are probly much worse off than you, trust in that. you may not see it now, or it might not click or make you feel better, but if you ever meet someone worse off you, youll know, and your bound to meet someone whos worse of than you if you pay attention. lots of other people experience the obstacles and stuff you are now, to lots of different extents and in lots of different ways. and then it might truely hit you, and youll find strength in that, and probably feel sympathy for them. you got it all with you right there, whatever answer your looking for is right there within you just waiting to be found or for you to be drawn to it through some way you might not even have imagined. nothing can tell you whats right for YOU or what you REALLY want, society and culture will try their damndest, but they cant, they really cant when it comes down to it. unfortunatley that gives us all a bit of a burden giving us the task of overcoming that and freeing ourselves, but we can do it, its far from impossible.just be open to whatever you see, and stay open, and youll be alright. everything will work out as its supposed to.
if you want to love yourself, look for all the things about you that you love. it shoudnt be about learning to love yourself. ive always loved myself. more than other people do. its what keeps me going when people doubt me. what sort of people do you hang out with? make sure theyre not losers (as in, people who dont get anywhere) dont look for other people like you, because that will just make you find passion in the things that you dont love. and you dont love them for a reason. (ie, if you dont love yourself, which you seemed to infer)
sympathy is something that we all feel, more often than most of us are conscious of. Being able to recognize our sympathies goes a long way in understanding the interrelatedness of things. Wherever you are, there should be something right in front of your nose that is important to you. Look for that, involve yourself and the rest should follow.
No matter how hard it is just know that atleast it is hard. Hard is amazing to experience. But worry not about questions. Worry about what is right in front of you. Which is the beautiful planet Earth. She is quite an experience
I think that the awareness and aknowledgement of something that you struggle with will let you find ways around your obstacle. Well done mate.
Joker... Thats really honest and cool. Occam respects that. So if you need a friend or just someone to talk to.. occam is at nemesis@westnet.com.au Occam has many interests, from the roman empire to online FP shooters. From the nature of singularities to the nature of love. He reads much and watches many movies. This is the path of the generalist Your honesty is a strength.. The greatest there is. Both in reason and in the heart. ps. Existentialism has its points.... But , be wary..philosophical schools are but human perspectives on reality and humanity. Occam hs found that the least contradictory path [to reality] lies with usage of parts of many philosophies. Occam
I think everyone feels sympathy to some degree, and if you can find something that you really love (whether it be a person, hobby, aspect of living, whatever) then just go from there. Also, self-introspection can be a good thing, but be sure to go out and socialize somewhat because that's also really good for you. Finally, just because you may not feel extremely sympathetic toward yourself doesn't mean that you aren't sympathetic at all, it may mean that you don't necessarily feel that particular way as much as other people do, which is perfectly fine.
Joker, I know exactly what you're saying. I'm going through the same thing and its hard beause i have social anxiety. I'm a nice person and even easy on the eyes lol, but i just can't seem to fit in with anyone. I've tried different lifestyles but i never seem to click with the different cliques. I try to keep myself busy, expand on my knowledge and work on loving myself, but I never feel whole. Keep on keepin' on and I'm sure it'll work out for us soon. Peace and Harmony, Sarah.
Despite everyone's best efforts, trying to talk someone into fitting in or not being shy is like trying to talk someone into being 5.5 feet tall. Like someone said above, a significant part of it is finding the right people hang with. Who gets your humor? Who likes the same kind of movies (or at least can appreciate why you like them)? Some of it is just dumb luck, to be sure, but (and this fits with existentialism) the most important part is attitude. Are you even worth a damn? How do you see yourself reflected in these other people? I myself have had plenty of walk-on parts among groups of friends over the years. Good things will happen, but it all starts with you. I know what it's like being on the outside looking in and it's no fun. Despite what some people on this website would say, fitting in is the better, more fulfilling thing provided that you fit in with the right people. As far as feeling whole, it will never happen. As a scholar of philosophy (seriously), especially existentialism, there is always an emptiness about us. Heidegger talked about this (as did Sartre) when he discussed guilt and being-towards-death. There is always a lacking and something left to do. It is a condition of existence always and already. How will you appropriate it? Are you swallowed up by it, or have you carved out an enjoyable life for yourself? To take a quotes from one of my favorite movies: "No man is a failure who has friends."
Read ancient indian philosophy. A most helpful thing when living in this degenerate industrial culture of ours.
Get out of the city, obviously. I say go jogging, biking, skating, water skiing, etc. Get more exercise. Lots more. Don't masturbate. Eat right, sleep right. Take dancing lessons ($$$), learn to golf, play pool, play baseball, throw the football around, throw darts, go hiking, join the YMCA for swimming, etc. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Save money for your first home. Don't buy things to make you feel happy, like DVDs and music CDs. Get a job in a restaurant, at the mall, at a supermarket, etc. (anywhere where you are forced to interact with people.) As for the philosophy of existentialism, don't read too much into it. Nietzsche would call you a weakling, not fit to live. When you first fall in love you'll probably laugh at Nietzsche; he fell in love and couldn't marry her, so he probably became embittered. You're probably lonely because you're looking for love. Same as everybody else.
