I don't know how I feel...

Hi, I’m having big troubles understanding my own feelings. I have told my friends that I’m bi, but the truth is that I have been unsure if I’m bi, or if I’m lesbian. Over the last time the feeling have been stronger, I guess I have to tell you why, cause I got to get this out of me.

It all started two days ago, I kinda had a treeway(I don’t know if that’s the word?) with my best friend and her boyfriend, the same thing happened yesterday. It’s just, I’m more interested in her than him, and everywhere I go, I find myself looking at girls. Sometimes, I think a guy is cute, but not in that way.


It’s not that I’m afraid of what others might think if I'm a lesbian, it’s the fact that I can’t understand my own feelings and that frustrates me so much.

After what happened yesterday and the day before, I have been even more unsure on myself. I wish I could talk to someone, but I am too afraid to tell people about my feelings. It feels more comfortable here where people seem more open-minded and I don’t know anyone here.
Pleas help me, I don’t know how to figure this out for myself, I wish there was an easy way out of this…

 

Well, have you dated boys before? Have you felt romantic feelings towards boys? If not, you may prefer a partner who is a woman. If you do feel attracted to boys, you might just be interested in some of their qualities; or, you might be attracted to them in the sense of a partner. The latter could label you as a bisexual; the first could not.

For example, I'm "transgendered;" I'm a woman in a man's body. From my point of view, a relationship with a man is heterosexual, and a relationship with a woman is homosexual. My gender doesn't agree with my biological sex, and my sexual orientation has nothing to do with my gender; I just feel attracted to both men and women. I tend to prefer to date women because of their personality traits, but I know several men who I deeply love; yet, I have not dated them. One of these men is very heterosexual, so he would not date me because of my physical sex; he was the first person I ever fell in love with.

This is a complicated web; but I do not worry about it. Answers will come, you just have to be patient. Even when it causes you anguish or frustration, you just have to wait for the answer. It took me 3 years of questioning, self-reflection, introspection and a whole mess of other things to figure out as much as I have about myself; just don't walk away right now, you might not understand everything all at once.

If you dwell on issues such as this, it tends to make you feel confused and lost. The faster you explore this issue, the more confused you will be by the time you get an answer. Just let the pieces fall into place.