I want to go to a black folks church, but I'm afraid they'll like... stare at me the whole time. I used to take piano lessons from an old black man from Mississippi at this church. He was the grandfather of this lady who works with my mom and he was one of the first people who got me into blues/jazz stuff like Sun Ra, Charlie Christian, T-Bone Walker, Muddy Waters, and John Coltrane.
They wouldn't stare at you. They'd just take you in their old, brown, crackly hands and shout "Lawd Jaysus is alive n' well, honey!" And make you dance in the aisles.
Oh my god I'd kill to see george dancing down the aisles of a black church i can totally see it happening
Haha, it's not like I haven't done it before. But one time I did go to this black folks barbershop and the guy didn't know how to cut my hair... took him like two hours and he had to call this older guy to help him. Felt bad for making him have to do that but I didn't want to offend him or anything, haha...
actually, from what i've experienced, its the white folks who stare at you if you're different from them.
I haven't been to church in a long time, but I think I might go this sunday with one of my friends, if I can wake up. They should have church at about 2 pm that way I could be up in time to go.
Oh god yes, it's even worse at the crazy white southern baptist churches... ugh, that's like the time those people spat on me. Bastards. I love the black folks churches... they aren't as commercial . It's also fun to listen to/watch... etc. I can see why some of the people go to them like three times a day, ahah.
hahaha kj i was gonna say sumpin, but now i'm not except ... you guys need to see "the apostle"...i wanna go to a church like the ones there... except i'm not christian.
my week sorda sucked to. been feeling reaaal depressed and seem to be sinking back into anxiety, or post traumatic stress disorder or whatever im going to call it now. i learned a decent amount about myself that was so simple that i didnt even realize because i hate facing certain aspects of myself so much i just dont even acknowledge them and they get bottled up, blurred and lost somewhere inside me. it seems like those around me who know me have the same problem when they talk to me, and almost like it bothers them more than it bothers me, so theres a constant reminder of this dreadful aspect of my life that really sucks. even now i dont like facing them, i feel like my being has been shattered into a million pieces. and im not sure that i can ever be whole again, and i look around and i see many others who arent whole either. to this day, sitting silently in a room with others freaks me the fuck out, and i still get hoooooooorrible panic attacks, and that shit sucks. i mean dont get me wrong i realize some have it way worse and millions have been traumatized via rape, war, etc, and are in way worse shape than me. ive learned much and am so lucky to have love and knowledge in my life, though i have to admit im sordove losing hope lately which is a truely depressing and heavy weight to be carrying around. thats like my whole life you know, not being complete again. but i dont think life can be that unkind or cruel, i think and really hope and pray my life will unfold nicer than it has, and i hope the same for all the other rape and trauma victims out there, it really does suck and i can really sympathize with them now....think about it, being raped and not trusting a single soul anymore, losing your capability to love and trust your fellow man, it can really fuck with you if you let it. ive been biccyling lately though a lot and that seems to help, i told my mom i want to be in the tour de france, LOL. she took me serious though and is gonna get me a spot in some race for diabetics which sould be cool, bicycling is the shit. maybe thats my calling in life, i truely could have an edge over many others in the sport. knoweldge of yoga and the body and true vegetarian health, i just have to develop balance and a calm heart. and maybe i could develop that with bicycling if i do it enough and learn to stay at peace and keep focused on what im doing despite distractions, which seems like it MIGHT work. maybe its going to be my therapy and key out of this depression, i really fuckin hope so. if not i may as well go toss myself in the river tonight, or try to assasinate president bush and go out with some kind of noble and crazy purpose, haha.
par·a·graph n. A distinct division of written or printed matter that begins on a new, usually indented line, consists of one or more sentences, and typically deals with a single thought or topic or quotes one speaker's continuous words. A mark ( ¶ ) used to indicate where a new paragraph should begin or to serve as a reference mark. A brief article, notice, or announcement, as in a newspaper. tr.v. par·a·graphed, par·a·graph·ing, par·a·graphs To divide or arrange into paragraphs. Haha... hi.
see readme.txt for how my week sucked..... if you don't wish to then I will not burden you with it http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=103919
