What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you while you were stoned

And it is usually only funny when you are stoned?

 

My buddy and I pull up in front of his house baked out of our minds. I swear it took him 2 minutes to turn the car off, on click at a time, turning the key.

We get inside with munchies from hell and start foraging. It's near Christmas and there is some candy on the counter wrapped in bright foil. I open one up and it's two pecan halves. I'm stunned. I start chuckling and my buddy asks me what's wrong.

I tell him, this isn't candy, it's pecans. He of course doesn't believe me, so he starts unwrapping one himself. It takes him about a minute to figure out how to untwist the foil wrapper and he's being so careful like he wants to save the foil to wrap a present later. After 2 minutes of him fucking with this wrapper, he takes it off, only to reveal there is a second foil wrapper on it.

I'm fucking crying I'm laughing so hard, so he gets to work on this wrapper, opens it and looks at me and says very matter of factly " It's a pecan "

I completely lose it and have to go lay down on the couch and bury my face in a pillow trying not to wake his mom. Didn't work, she comes out of the bedroom and asks what we are doing. My buddy asks his mom: " Mom........................... why did you wrap pecans?" but he is laughing so hard he can hardly get the question out.

He tells her " They already come wrapped in a shell, why would you wrap them in foil", she says she just thought it would be pretty for the holidays.

I know I cried on that couch for 10 minutes.

 

I went to a Dungeons and Dragons convention and of course, we don't sleep for 3 days and are stoned as all hell. We always had to go take a drive to get baked so once while we are driving around and I'm in the back seat, the guy next to me says something that I couldn't hear. So I say:

Me: What'd you say?
Him: What?
Me: What'd you say?
Him: I said what. What did you say?
Me: I said what did you say?
Him: and I said what?
Me: No before that, what did you say?
Him: I said what did you say.
Me: No, I said what did you say, what did you say before that?
Him: I said what... did... you... say!
Me: No motherfucker, we were sitting here, saying nothing, you said something first and I asked what did you say, so, what did you say?
Him: I said What Did You Say!
Me: You stoned motherfucker, shut the fuck up!

Meanwhile the guys in the front seat are laughing their asses off trying to figure out what the hell we are talking about.

We start laughing so hard in the backseat trying to explain what the hell just happened.

 

Hehhehehheh, we went to a Hardees on a munchie run and when guys are stoned they always want the most elaborate orders. 12 guys in a house, wasted, ordering salads and burgers with 5 exact toppings.

By the time we ordered, the two of us that went to pick it up were so paranoid that everyone knew we were stoned. I asked for extra dressings, then croutons, then bacon bits, then ketchup. The mangager is throwing handfuls of 10 of each in the bag like he just wanted us to get the hell out of there.

 

I swear I tried to get an entire half pound bag of plain M&M's in my mouth while jonesing.

 

When I was 15, only been smokin' for about a month at this point, I used to make an ass out of myself on a rather regular basis On one instance I had been smoking with an older buddy of mine who was in the habbit of just taking a drive out into the pine barrens (NJ) and smoking himself silly. Anyway, like most stoners, he had his routine. Go for the drive, smoke a fuck-load, walk around the pines, stop at Wendy's, go home. It wasn't much, but for me at the time, it seemed like a "grand adventure". We're talking Lord of the Rings here, baby.


On this particular instance, my friend decided to play a lil' joke on me. So he tells me he's too stoned to drive us home. In his head I'm sure this is funny as all hell, but to me -- who has a father who would've beaten the piss out of me if I missed cerfew and came home red-eyed -- this was a life and death situation.. well, atleast in my head it was After watching me freak out for a bit, he tells me why don't I drive home. Seemed like a good plan. So I took the keys and he got in and off we went.

This was my first time driving stoned -- and I don't condone it at all either! Anyway, long story short, we pull up to a stop sign and I stop. And I wait. And I wait. And I wait.

Finally, after looking both ways about a million times, my friend tells me, "What the fuck are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for that stop sign to turn green so we can go."

::blink blink:: My friend almost pissed himself. Luckily he finally decided the joke was over and he drove the rest of the way home.

Man, what a toolbag I was
Ganja_Goo

 

I guess its not that funny, but the only time I was really stoned my dad had to walk me home, he propped me up and sort of pushed me towards the house as I couldn't get my legs to work. I'm not sure how funny he thought it was, but I thought it was hilarious. He had been at the party I was at though.

 

none of you will think this is funny but.. i randomly said "i want skittles" in a little girl voice and everyone just started laughing for like 10 minutes.. we laugh at it now even when im not stoned.

*sigh*

 

Yea well long story short we got rlly rlly rlly baked and decided to make a moltov cocktail out of an empty tequila bottle and we caught the grass on fire. I started cracking up it was so f unny they were running around trying to put it out it was so funny hahaha

 

I cant remember my funniest moment (wonder why that is?) but i do remember looking at a tv screen from the side trying to see if the little signing man was standing in front of the actual picture. He wasnt

 

I ate my cat

 

These are funny, but you have to have been that stoned to see it. I especially like the waiting for the stop sign to turn green...

 

I dont know but when i first started to get stoned shit like that would happen all the time.

Once, i was on a little bit of shrooms, feelin reeeely toasty and soft, and my dude takes the wick out of a firecracker and lights it and throws it into my lap. IT scared the living piss out of me and i jumped up out of the chair and threw myself against the wall. Everyone started busting up laughing, but it pissed me off.

I wish i could smoke some bud.

 

When I was in University I was friends with these really cool religious kids. I wasn't religious, and they were cool with that... it was a non-issue really. Sometimes I would hang out with their youth group, and every once in awhile I would play with their Worship Band at church when they needed a trumpet.

One night I am doing shrooms with my friend Tim, one of the religous friends. His sister calls and invites us out to a bonfire, not knowing that we are tripping. We don't tell her. Half an hour later, we show up at the bonfire.

Tim and I thought it was just going to be our group of friends... maybe 10 people. Turns out, its the entire youth group and their youth leaders and a couple parents, and some Ministers too. They had hymnals and people had brought their instuments. There was even a little pot luck supper, all out in the middle of the woods!

I started freaking... and was feeling totally obvious. Tim's mom came over and gave us and extra blanket, and then sat down with us. She turned to me and said "They are going to start singing right away... do you have a hymnal?".

I couldn't handle it, so I went and sat by myself on the other side of the fire. I spread out my dad's old leather jacket like a blanket and started tripping out, listening to the music and watching the fire.

I come out of it when one of the Ministers starts jumping on my jacket. It had started on fire, and I hadn't noticed. Everyone was staring at me, open mouthed... like I was this total freak, which I guess to them I was. I looked at Tim and we started laughing.

I still have that jacket in a box somewhere. It has a 4 inch hole burnt in one of the arms, but I can't bring myself to toss it out.

I went to a church bonfire while tripping, caught on fire, and had to be extinguished by the peacher.

 

Hehhheheh, new meaning on the phrase " you were baked "

 

One time, also during my less experienced years, I was driving home from a party with one of my best friends. My friend was a dealer and this was probably my first time smoking really high grade pot -- because he was what I like to call a weed-snob. He won't even touch it if it's not super kind -- whatever! Anyways!

We where on our way home from a party and I was wasted. About halfway home his bookbag must have fallen off the backseat and onto the floor and a 1/4 pound of the kindest nug my little ass had ever seen fell out (in a bag of course). Anyways, we didn't see it fall, but it started to REAAAK!

He looked at me and smiled and said, "Man, you smell that skunk?"

Now he meant the weed, but my dumb ass thought he was talking about an animal. So I start looking around outside the car and shaking my head, "Yea, I smell that fucker, but I can't seem him. Want me to roll up my windows?"


Pretty stupid, but we had a good laugh
Ganja_Goo

 

A true stoner can't remember.
Which is where I reside.

 

1 word...

Waffles.

 

Well this diddn't happen to me, but we were at Dairy Queen, me and my friend were sitting in his car waiting for our other friend to get back to his car and eat his ice cream so we can leave. Well while we're wating, this big, giant muscled guy who looked like a bad ass parks next to us. Well our other friend starts coming back, and we notice he goes towards the left(where the big guy's car was parked) instead of our right where his car was, then we see him get into the other guy's car, and kept trying to start it, and we're like yelling at him to get out of the car before that giant guy comes back and thinks he's trynig to steal it, and eventually he noticed we were shouting at him. Yea, and we weren't even that stoned.

 

Hehhehehehhh.