crescent moon overhead wore pearl halo with intoxicating corporeal compulsion; and if I was draped over you like that, we'd finger-lock bones into helix shape, praying we won't die from heart attack when rapture rushing avalanche overloads our senses. we're prisoners, after all, helpless within a universe that doesn't explain itself. so just you hook your arm behind my neck, like that, and don't close your eyes; cos we're mirrors, aligned, our reflections harmonized and infected by enchanted effects of flawless soul combine.
I've missed this...music to my mind. [we'd finger-lock bones into helix shape, praying we won't die from heart attack] [so just you hook your arm behind my neck, like that,] Top notch!
*smiles* Once again, a truly beautiful piece. This is the only part that seems a little choppy. You may have intended that, not sure. The rest of it flows with mastery. Damn! "crescent moon overhead wore pearl halo with intoxicating corporeal compulsion;"
"so just you hook your arm behind my neck, like that, and don't close your eyes; cos we're mirrors, aligned, our reflections harmonized and infected by enchanted effects of flawless soul combine." okay fulmah, that was totally hot. *sizzlin' vixen*
Actually, I'm gonna disagree. I liked that part. I didn't think it sounded choppy, I think it sounds quirky and unique. I think she was going for imagery, more. It was an incredibly beautiful poem. I don't know if anyone can really say anything bad about it.
