wondering about most natural contraception?

Hi,
I'm just wondering if what is thought to be the most natural contraception... Other than the calendar method or just withdrawal method. I'm just so fussy/worried about contraception. Ugh, i'm crap at this subject too.. :&
We use a condom sometimes, but hardly ever. It just doesn't feel right. It is also hard because it is one of the most unerotic things putting on a condom and usually after the act of putting it on, nothing is going to work anyway.
I used to be on the pill, but really didn't like the thought of synthetic hormones going into my body. I also started to get worried about varacouse veins because they run in the family and apparently the pill makes them worse? My legs started throbbing too and i think i may have a varacouse vein starting up. But it could all be psychosomatic..?
My mum used the coil... But i can't think of anything worse to be honest. The idea just scares me.
I just don't like using unnatural methods to hinder a perfectly natural process. But at the same time i don't particularly want to get pregnant!

How effective can the caldendar method be? I am charting my cycle and he just stops before he explodes (hehe, much better word than ejaculate!) on the days when it is unsafe to be having sex. When it is supposedly safe (From about day 18 onwards? I bet i'm totaly wrong anyway- Eeek!) to have sex it is just unprotected sex. So yeah, i know that i'm playing a pretty risky game at the moment really.
For the past few months i've kept on having false pregnancy symptoms and sometimes missed periods and stuff because of thinking and worrying about it so much. I've kept on doing pregnancy tests and it keeps on being negative. Apart from not wanting to have to do this anymore, pregnancy tests are just too expensive for me to buy every month!
It doesn't help that i am feeling very maternal and the unsensible part of me just wants to go with the natural instinct and het pregnant. But really i know that i'm not ready yet. If i did become pregnant, then i know that i'd just have to have a complete life convert and deal with consequences of actions, because it is just against all my morals to have an abortion. I could deal with that, because apart from occasionally worrrying about things (but i don't show it too much really!) I tend to take anything as it comes and see the positive side of it.

Also, I'm finding it hard to keep my sexuality out of issues in the relationship too. I've always been bisexual, but mainly leaning towards gay. I know that i'm probably being overimaginative and worrying too much about nothing, but the thought of getting pregnant and landing myself in a much more committed situation when part of me, the irrational part, but a part nontheless, is scared about staying with a man anyway.

Blegh, I guess there's more issues there than just contraception that i really want to talk to somebody about. I'm not very good at talking about my problems anyway. I'm just about to go away to work on an organic farm in Czech Republic with Tom (my boyfriend), and would kind of like to sort some of this out before i go. This is all stuff that has been boiling up in my head and i need to explode it all out i think...

Sorry for making this post so annoyingly long winded!
Thanks,
Sunshine Lily
xxx

 

I used to use condoms, and didn't have that problem of "nothing working then". I always saw ít as something necassary, and a lot more comfortable then the pill, because it does not modify the natural cycle. The secret of erotic condom use is not to see it as something unerotic, rather including it into foreplay. Feeling erotic has a lot to do with how we see things. If you see a rubber as a nasty hygiene produkt, then... you won't have fun.


I have chosen the themperature-method now. If you don't want the near 100% safety of the pill, and don't need the disease preventing function of a condom (because you are in a highly committed relationship), and if you are into your body, and willing to measure your temperature every single morning at about the same time before you get up, then this is a good method. (Your cycle should be very stable also)

This is how it works:

You measure your temp every morning at about the same time, (the same time issue is different from woman to woman. some need it, for some it works also at different times, but it has to be BEFORE getting up)
at a certain time of month, the temp will rise about 0.2-0.4 degrees Celsius. This is you "ovulation day". You are considered fertile at about 5 days before and 2 days after it, plus 2 "securety days" before and after. So after it, you are free to go.
This method only shows the infertile days after ovulation for sure. But experience with your temp curve, and eventually using the cervix method also, you are able to determine the infertile days before ovulation.


This has something to do with the so called callender method, except you are using the data your body provides, thus this is a more exact then just counting days. But you have to be very consistent about measuring. Also if you want to try it, you should buy a good book about it.
Something to say: THis method is only as secure as consistent you are. Just knowing your fertile days is great, but you also have to either abstain from having sex or use condoms, to prevent pregnancy.

The reason I chose this method is that I weighed out the pros and cons about different means of contraceptions vs. getting pregnant, and that I chose for me, that the pill was not it, and that it would be unplanned to get pregnant, but it would be far away from a desaster. But this is a decision you and your boyfriend have to take. Educate yourself, read about it. Go to a family planning center for counseling.

Good Luck, Hope I helped

 

Hey,

Thankyou so much for telling me about that.... It's really made me think about it and it sounds more accurate (if i do it correctly!) than kind of half-guessing which days are safe and which aren't.
As you suggested, i'm going to be reading up more about it and may go to the family planning clinic.
I think if i do that method we'll probably start using condoms more on the days when i'm fertile, because the 'withdrawal' method feels too risky...
Thanks so much!
Love,
Sunny
xxx

 

Withrdawl is risky because of self-control issues and the small number of sperm in pre-egaculate (that is, even before he comes). The calender method has a failure rate in practise of about 5% and that's when it is used correctly not by guestimate. The condom has a failure rate of about 2%. I use this method and have no problem with fun or perfomance as part of sex (not using it for foreplay, by the time penitartion is on the cards he can't wait to get it on). If I have any doubts about the condom working I get a morning after pill (twice there have been accidents). When I am in something long term with a tested guy I do use the pill.

 

Natural Family Planning is a good choice. "The Calendar Method" sounds too much like the old fashioned rhythm methods the Catholics with 9 kids used to use. NFP is much more scientific and accurate. It relies on temperature, cervical mucous, and symptoms, which you learn over a period of months to use.

here is one site, there are many more put Natural Family Planning into the search engine to find more.

http://www.fertilityuk.org/

 

Natural Family Planning looks really interesting, thankyou for telling me about that! I'll explore that site a bit and read up on it... I think if i can understand it and get to know that method then that'd may be be best.


Thanks all of you,
Sunny
xxx