my boyfriend and i have been having lots of sex since summer break began. it's usually really great, and i enjoy it completley. but lately, as in the past week perhaps, i've been entirely unable to get off. we keep trying and trying, and even though i'm consenting, afterwards i start feeling shitty... it feels less like sex and more like he's just masturbating into me. i'm worried this is becoming a vicious cycle. the frusteration puts me off, though i try not to verbalize it and lay that on him. i think he's just as frusterated as i am. it's getting really stressful... i think we both feel like it's our fault even though i've assured him wholeheartedly not to worry about it being him. it's really bugging me. i guess i dont know waht to do, or if there's anything i can do. it kind of makes me feel inadequate.
maybe you guys should lay off of sex for a couple days, maybe a week. and no masturbating either. then the next time you guys have sex its gonna feel so good you will both have orgasms really quickly and will be able to keep having more and more. just make sure hes in shape i have a problem of collapsing on my ex after a while
This sort of situation happened to me & my boyfriend toward the end of last semester. For us, we were both just really busy with school work, so we didn't have much time to spend together. When we did get a chance to spend an hour or two together, we headed straight toward the bedroom... And, I started having trouble getting into the mood, regardless of how much I wanted to... Basically, we were losing that emotional intimacy that made sex between us so great. What we had to do was just decide to not have sex for a while (no specific time period set) & just focus on those romantic things that made me fall in love with him in the first place. In no time, we had it back. I realize your situation is different, since you are spending a lot of time together, but if the only "quality time" you spend is in bed, it could be the same root problem... *edit* Oh, and don't put too much pressure on yourself to get it back. I know that the more I felt like I should want to be with him, the less I really wanted to... Which would frustrate him, cuz I'd try to get things going, then in the middle of it just pull back & start joking with him... Or, he would stop things in the middle of it because no matter what he did he couldn't get me off, which made him feel like shit. Once you relax & don't push yourself to be in the mood as much as you think you should be, it happens much more easily!
My an my ex g/f used to have sex all the time. Towards the end of our relationship, I'd take so much lnger than ever to get off, which was really weird because it usually takes me no time at all. I think it's because of all the sex. When we waited or didn't see each other for awhile, it was awesome. Waiting it out for awhile is so worth it.
thanks so much for your replies! i think i'll suggest the waiting. a break would probably be nice for both of us. thanks again!
