Any one know of any good jokes? My favorite is old and stupid, but it still makes me laugh- A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".
This joke is kinda sexest, please ladys, don't take offence. Why do women have two sets of lips? so they can piss and moan at the same time
Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. He hands the inkeeper three nails and asks... "Can you put me up for the night?"
A company owner decides he wants to mix things up a little. So he hires a new CEO. The new CEO was excited to get started. His first idea was to clean up alot of the slackers that worked there. So during a tour around the building he saw a man at the end up a workshop standing against a wall. He walked up and said loudly so the others could here "How much do you make a week?" The guy responded curiously "400$" The new CEO hands him 1600$ and says "Theres 4 weeks pay now get out. You're fired.". Feeling good about himself he asked one of the group of workers "What was that goof off's job?" one of the workers answered with a muffled laugh "He was the pizza delivery guy.".
a lizard is walking along in the jungle when he sees a monkey in a tree smoking a joint. he calls up to the monkey "what are you doing up there?" and the monkey told him he was smoking a joint and to come join him. so they sat in the tree and smoked a couple joints when the lizard said "my mouth is dry, im going to the river for water" while the lizard was at the river he was so high he fell in. a friendly alligator carried him back to shore. the gator asked the lizard whats wrong and the lizard replied "i smoked too many joints wiht that monkey" so curious the alligator went and found the monkey and yelled up to him "HEY YOU!" and the startled monkey looked down at the alligator and said "shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit dude....how much did you drink!?"
haha okay, okay, i got one hahaha.. So this lady she has a hands right and so she was talking to jesus one day and asks, why are my hands so big, why are my hands so big.. and then jesus replied so I can choke you faster with them...ahahhahaha heres another... There was this woman and this guy and they were about to have sex and he went down on her and says, geez you got a big who-who, geez you got a big who-who...and she said, why did you say that twice and he said i didnt..hahaha ( i got this one from predator...)
