This thing of my dreams (comments welcome) :)

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Rick.Horsman, Jun 30, 2005.

  1. Rick.Horsman

    Rick.Horsman Member

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    Thoughts of deepness, now awakened
    Virginity gone, yet still untaken
    It moves so fast yet is motionless
    It dreams and thinks but cannot cry
    It sleeps and there come no dreams
    It tells a story but does not speak
    It breathes and roams but does not move
    It is dishonest about its truth
    It tells the truth about its lies
    It has no shame yet its head still hangs
    It can not breathe but still it sighs
    Is very smart but still its dense
    This thing of my dreams it makes no sense
     
  2. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    I don't see where you're going with this.

    Also, you say "it dreams and thinks but cannot cry" then in the next line says it doesn't dream.

    On a positive note, this would probably sound pretty good if you could work it into a rhyming poem. Good rhythm on it too.
     

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