So, my mother just called to let me know that she was diagnosed with breast cancer last Thrusday. She is in Sk, Canada... and I am in Ohio, US. She has only told my step-father and my two much younger sisters (19 and 17 yr old). I am currently at a total loss of what to do, what to say. The lump they found is 2cm, and started in the milk duct. She will be having a lumpectomy (sp) in the next couple of weeks. After that, the doctors have recommended chemo and radiation. Have any of you ladies dealt with anything like this before? I know breast cancer isn't all that rare. I am going to look for some sort of support group to join tonight, and my husband and I are going to try to move to SK by the end of September. Of course, if I need to, I will relocate earlier. My mother is a very independant and strong woman. She doesn't like to let people help her, or even let them know if they need help. We have always had a rather difficult relationship. And I don't know if she would want me around to help.... but to be honest, at this point there isn't a whole lot I do know! thanks for listening, regan
There are lots of good books out there on breast health and breast cancer...both about conventional and unconventional methods of treatment. It is a good thing that your mom is strong and independent...she will likely have more emotional reserves to fight this thing. Good luck to both of you...I know this is a very hard time for your family!
Thanks for the luck and well wishes. I am feeling better now, more positive about things. My grandmother passed a couple years ago from cancer, so I went into a panic when I heard CANCER. The doctors said that my mom has a really good chance of beating it, and I have to believe that. My mom is soooo stubborn that she wouldn't let it kill her. They have made BIG advances in the BCancer field in the last 20 years (my great aunt had both breasts taken in '86)! We were really lucky that they found the lump so early, as the women in my family have really dense, fiberous breast tissue... so self-tests are pretty useless. The found it at her regular yearly mamagram. I talked to my eldest sister and to my bestfriend back home, and they are totally behind the idea of my husband and I moving home. They are both going to keep quiet about it for the time being, as my mother would probably tell us not to move home. She likes to be difficult sometimes! But, she is sick, and will need someone to drive her into the city for chemo treatments, and I am the only person for the job. I am feeling better. She is positive, so I will be too. She is being strong, and I will be too.... I am the big sister, so i have to be the rock for the little ones to cling to. Thanks again and remember to get those mamagrams!
I am so sorry. She and you will be in my thoughts. One of my best freinds from high school had breast cancer about 7 years ago. She had not yet started menopause and the cancer was very aggresive. She had the surgery, the chemo and the radiation, and she has been cancer free and healthy ever since. She just had her first baby last year, which they said would never happen. There are many advances in cancer treatment lately. There is a LOT to be hopeful about. Blessings
I'm so sorry Regan (beautiful name by the way). I will be keeping you and your mother in my thoughts. Please keep us updated. {{{BIG HUGS}}}
It is good to hear that your mother is a strong woman, that will definitely improve her chances of recovery. I have a family history of breast cancer, my great-grandmother battled it her entire life, until passing away at the age of 91. Even though she had moved in and out of remission about 4 times in her life she was able to lead a long happy life. My aunt just finished chemo for her breast cancer and is in remission currently, and happy and healthy. You should be encouraged to know that cancer treatments are becomming much more successful and that they are working hard every day on new treatments. Researchers recently discovered a virus that naturally targets and kills cancer cells without harming normal tissue, and are working on gene therapy techniques to increase the virus's effictiveness. http://www.med.nyu.edu/communications/news/pr_37.html This, of course, has not been tested on humans, but I wanted to offer the information to give you some optimism on cancer treatments for now and in the future. With as far as they have come, and where it things are heading it seems like losing a loved one to cancer will soon become a worry of the past. It isn't something anyone should have to worry about. Best of luck to your family, and to your mother. It seems like your family supports eachother very well, and there is nothing better you could do for your mother. She'll be going through some tough times, current cancer treatments are not easy on a person, so she'll need all the support, care, and love she can get. So don't feel helpless, your family can do more for your mother than any doctor in the world!
Thanks for the love and luck. I will let you know how the surgery goes (should be in a couple of weeks). My mother is one tough cookie, and I know she will fight this with everything she has... and the family will fight too. I am going to talk to my birth father (they divorced 24 yrs ago) tonight when he gets in from seeding... let him know I am coming home. He will help if there is anything he can do. My father is a good man, and he still cares for my mom, although more in a old friend way. My step-father is coming home from Ottawa on Sunday... he is there teaching a summer class for the national math board or something. I will call him Monday and talk logistics about me coming home. Everyone goes back to school in september, either teaching or learning, so I would like to be home to "take over" by then. I think I have moved into a planning mindset. I have understood and absorbed the fact that my mom has breast cancer... and now I am making plans. It keeps my mind occupied, so I am not laying in bed overwhelmed by emotions. Compartmentalizing is my way of dealing with things, I guess. Thanks for all the well wishes and happy thoughts! It means a lot to me. p.s. My mother read "King Lear" alot when she was pregnant with me. I think I got one of the better names... I could have been named Goneral. Imagine the nicknames?!
Just remeber it is amazing what doctors can do today, and it sounds like they caught it early. I hope everything works out for the best. I will keep your family in my prayers!
I'll keep you,your Mom,and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Try to stay positive...everything will be okay. *Lots of hugs*
I know that I am not a woman, and all. But my mother had breast cancer, and it spread to her liver. She passed away three years ago when I was 15. It was hard on everyone. There are so many things I wanted to say, but never did. Please just give ur mother all the love you can, and lots of support, and I am sure she will do great.
I understand what you are goin through, Icedtea. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer several months ago. Hers was also 2 cm and she underwent a lumpectomy and mammosite radiation (which is radiation given directly to the area where her lump was removed from her breast). Her cancer was not advanced enough for her to require chemotherapy. Your mom is very lucky because 2 cm is not very big for a lump and it means that they most likely have caught it early. My mom and I were very close even before we found out she had breast cancer so we have always been open with each other and my mom did not mind when I had lots of questions and she talked freely with me about her procedures and such. I hope you and your mom are like this because it really made everything easier, instead of keeping everything bottled up inside. It is definately a scary time for the family, but in time it comes to be an accepted part of life and everyone will keep on keepin on. For GREAT info., my mom has relied heavily on www.breastcancer.org. The people in the chat rooms are regulars for the most part and provide wonderful support. There is also TONS of information. Also, I dont know if Canada has the same programs as the US but we have in the US what we call "navigators" in the community to help someone who has just found out they have cancer. Its not the end of the world.
ice tea, I am glad you and your dh will be able to be there for her. Not just to take her to the appointments, but to take care of her afterwards. Make sure the doctor gives her lots of Zofran, if she gets Chemo or radiation, it is one of the best for the nausea. And, if you can, stock up on some primo weed. It will work to make her feel better when nothing else will. My freind's dh was all paranoid about me getting her some weed when she was sick (he thinks I'm a "bad influence" on her LOL!) on the few occasions when the Zofran didn't do it for her. She got her sister to get her some weed, and had to sneak it, but she felt reallly OK afterward. Candle lit for your mama and your family, icetea. Blessings and love, Maggie
My mother and I aren't really that close. I spent most of my childhood with her parents, and it wasn't until my half-sisters were born that I came to live with her and my step-father. Years of therepy later, well... we actually have a relationship, although it isn't always a good one. I left her house when I was 17, and I haven't spent more than a single night there since. I love her very much, but there are times when I don't like the person she is. She is open about the fact that she feels the same way about me. My mother is very conservative. Money means everything to her... new cars, nice house, name brand clothes. One year, I donated pretty much all of my Christmas gifts to charity, and she flew into a rage. She finds the fact that I smoke the occasional joint to be horrifying, because "What if people find out!". When her mother, my grandmother, was sick with cancer I bought her a pipe and some weed.... my mother found out and didn't talk to me for 7 months... basically, the first words she said to me in 7 months were "Grandma's dead". So I doubt that she will allow herself to smoke pot, even if it would help. I will offer it when the time comes, but unless something major changes, I don't see her accepting. I feel guilty about the whole situation. I know I really have nothing to feel guilty about, as everything I feel about her she feels about me. lol. I am my father's child, and as my mom once said "I divorced his hippie ass for a reason.". To be honest, I don't even know if she will let me help her. She isn't good at letting people "in"... she is a fortress, a one women army. Our relationship is really messed up, but maybe if she lets me in a little, this whole thing will bring us closer. I hope and pray that she will survive, and that some good may come of the situation. Sorry if this is long and winding... but it helps to get it all out. I am calling my step-father tonight, so we will see how that goes. Regardless of what they say, we are coming home... and I will be there for my mom even if I have to fight her over it.
I admire your courage and tenacity...it looks like you inherited your mother's strength, and that is a good thing. Maybe through all of this, the two of you will reach an understanding. A healing (hopefully) of the physical (your mom's), and a healthier relationship between the two of you. I will be thinking about you through all of this!
