i'm generally a very happy person, but lately i've been feeling angry at everyone. i'm too nice and people use me. i seem to be a liar magnet too. "friends" boyfriends.. that i'm no longer in contact with, because of lying to me. i look young and people talk to me as if i'm a child. i get shy around adults and don't feel every much like an adult myself. i was driving around earlier and just suddenly wanted to be away from everyone, everything. somedays i just want to hid from the world, stay in my apartment all day with my kids. i'm a bit agorophobia and have troubles with anxiety. the stress of things that have happened to me recently are getting to me. i feel i always make the wrong choices in life, and then figure it out too late to change anything. i just want to crawl into bed and stay there. i'm in the wrong place and time.
You sound just like me. I have had a life full of regrets. But I would have regretted it more if I hadn't taken any risks. And probably my life - and more importantly I would not be what I am today if I hadn't made those choices. Yes, I am also a nice person, yes people take advantage, but I don't regret being me. Don't be disillusioned. You will look back and see that it has been good for you, no matter what has happened. But you are like me and if you ever want anyone to talk to, feel free to send me a message.
i don't know if i regret things, just wish i had done things differently. spoke up when i didn't. was bold when i felt shy. i think part of the problem too is i don't know anyone like me. i find people that i have only a couple of things in common with, and it always seems to end bad. people are pretty damn shallow around here. i don't have a big fancy car. i don't live in an expensive house. i have kids.. that seems to be the kicker. i'm not a bar hopping materialistic high maintenance kind of person. i plan on trying to go back to school this fall. hopefully i'll be able to find some like minds.
boogabaah, don't feel like you have to be like everyone else. there is nothing wrong with being apart from other people or becoming angry or bitter with other people. there is nothing wrong with being a loner or having only a few close friends. there is nothing wrong with feeling isolated and lonely. there is nothing wrong with wanting to spend all your time on your own away from everyone else and the world. infact, i think it is probably more healthy to do so. if you can be comfortable with yourself and the emotions you feel whether good or bad then you are laughing over the people who have to surround themselves with company because they can't face the silence when the music finally dies down. which it will.
thats just the thing.. i'm tired of feeling lonely. i always have. my family tells me i'm socially retarded. i just don't know how to relate to people. i'd like to feel like i belong somewhere. i'd like to go outside and not feel like i have to put on an act, "normal person" show for everyone, when i just wanna run back inside and hide. maybe i need to talk to a professional.. but even thinking about that makes me freak out that they'd put me on meds and say "good luck" maybe i'm just over reacting :&
hmm i took that test... and my highest personality disorder was 66% schizoid... Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings. seems pretty accurate actually, but it is just an internet quiz..
Paranoid |||||||||||||||| 66% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 74% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66% Antisocial |||||| 22% Borderline |||||||||||||| 54% Histrionic |||||||||| 38% Narcissistic |||| 18% Avoidant |||||||||||| 46% Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||| 34% interesting
quote form Boogabah "maybe i need to talk to a professional.. but even thinking about that makes me freak out that they'd put me on meds and say "good luck"".... (dont understand the quote thing) your not a freak out to think that. I went that route 12 years ago now on 21 meds and agorophobic. The two main two hours a week of human contact I have verbal socialization are those two 'professionals' who get paid to listen to me talk till they quit the job then try to get someone new. Your doing ok. you have your kids. Im sure they love you and give reason to carry on. I have a cat only not the same you know. Dont give up. Just dont go the 'professional way' unless you really think it is the only way. they can screw you up more in the end of the end. take care--rxhead
i don't want to go see a professional. i've had just normal people insist i'm depressed. i don't think i am. i'm just not happy with the cycle i'm in and can't seem to break. the people (in general) around me aren't helping any. sucks to feel lonely. i don't know how to remedy that. i want to go back to school this fall, hopefully i'll find some new people to call friends. :&
that's deep. i know it's deep 'cause i battle them feelings from time to time. i noticed though, i only get that feeling around adults who like to talk a little more than normal and almost display a superiority complex. that sounds more of a problem for them. are you shy around other shy people?
Wow are you really five? You don't sound like it. I wonder what my 5 year old self would say to this thread.
no .. around other shy people i become the loud crazy one. then i talk too much.. sometimes.. not always. but i do feel like a child in an adult (sort of) body. doesn't help that i'm short, or that i have small breast. i work at an elementary school and during the first week of school last year i had at least 6 kids ask me "whose class are you in? are you a 5th or 6th grader?" THATS BAD!! i think adults just see me as a child so they treat me like one. i just need to know how to be an adult.. ? grown-up lessons?
