Jesus fucking christ

I hate it when I'm stoned (like now) and can't find shit (my vibrator).

 

oh here have mine *hands over vibrator*

 

Its all shitty and gross, at least wipe off the poop and crusty astroglide first.

 

If you hate being stoned, why get stoned?

 

I love being stoned I just don't like it when I'm stoned and can't get sexual gratification.

 

sorry, have a fresh one, brand new, never used.

 

Do you have fingers? or a penis you can call?

 

Thanks for reminding me why I have to use a vibe in the first place.

 

LoL I'm sorry. I could help if you'd like.

 

Haha, where do you live, I'll help you out, as long as I get to smoke some

 

If your good, then I would smoke you up.

 

Sweet! I won't dissapoint. You wouldn't happen to live in the general are of Northeast Texas would you? *crosses fingers and hopes*

 

I live in Massachusetts. 1,450 or so miles away.

 

Damn...well looks like I won't be able to provide assistance, you'd probably no logner be horny/find your vibrator by the time I got there anyways...

 

i once got stoned while smoking a blunt, but i wanted to make a bong (since mine got broke) so i burned holes in a bottle with a cig and went out to get the mail. i came back in my house and i couldnt find that damn fucking bottle for almost 45 minutes, it was sitting right on my bed under a few things too.