Lets all together tell a story

...vicar, who had drunk the wolf's liquor supply entirely earlier on, so now...

 

Jerry avoided the front door and came through the back to help poor old grandma out of the house, safe from th wolf. When walked into the kitchen Grandma was cutting potatos at the sink. her sister danced around the room Yelling 'PEPPER ! PEPPER more PEPPER!'

 

then she pulled out a Glock 18 and shot G.W. Bush in the face and grandma was stoked and they both had a shot of shine and when to bed

 

And then they dreamt that they were in a house full of gnomes and that the gnomes were saying "GRIN goddamit GRIN" and everybody grinned...it was a terrifying dream so they woke up and decided to....

 

Get up and eat some oatmeal and think in a comfortable silence, when suddenly........

 

a reporter came to the door with a crowd behind.
"hello! we want to hear your story about your journey Sally. What to have your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stones?"
Sally didnt know what to say so enlightenment...

 

took off running.Sally followed suit.There was the sound of broken glass and the room filled with a yellow haze.Soon gas masked uniforms were everywhere.Luckily our heros were gone and out the door.Enlightenment remembered an old trail out back he had seen in his travels.It lead down to the creek.If they could just make it across the creek!"Come on Sally!" he yelled.There was no response.He looked around and Sally was gone.

 

She was to his immediate left, somehow he was tripping off of the special oatmeal still, when suddenly a bear holding a tv popped out of the shadows

 

lol ok...

well Sally stopped right in her tracks. The bear grunted and looked down at the TV. It was a show on capitalism which made Sally...

 

want to become a communist...so she decided to head for Siberia

 

thats where she met Enlightenment's sister Enchanment. She lived in a small apartment on the top floor of one of the tallest buildings in Siberia.

 

But on the lonely steeps of Siberia there were no tall buldings, only dereclict shacks...so she realized she was not in Siberia, but in Moscow and that everything was wrong....

 

lenin had not fallen, the cold war had become hot, and all of russia had been destroyed by warmongering warmongers.....

 

The Red Army had entered in a state of anarchy and it was destroying and robbing all through Moscow...and then

 

the world flipped upside down. Changing the whole entire climate ...

 

And The Mole People Came Forth!!!!!!

 

and decieded all people over 5'8" must enter the underworld of deep cavens and produce food for all people smaller than themselves...bringing forth (forth - thanks Qt).

 

.... but the tall ones revolted REVOLTED I SAY Bringing forth the light and beginning








MOLE WARS

dadadada duh dua buh bua duh duh duh duh lala lala lalala

 

of the great "stamp out moles" bumpersticker enterprise.0.0001% was to go to the orphan kids in New Brunswick,wherever the hell that is.Anyways when the kids saw the violence purpatrated on the moles in their name they started secretly sending the money to the moles,funding the second great mole revolution.Unfortunatly so much money started coming the moles started getting lazy and complacent.Gophers soon filtered into the ranks of the mole army,working their way up the chain of command.If you asked them they'd tell you the reason they joined was to get an education and escape poverty,but secretly to each other they'd admit the real reason was revenge.Yeah that and the mole woman.There was a lot of molestation going on,but thats a hole different story,this story is about one gopher in particular.A handsome little fellow,well except for the mole on his cheek.The things he would do.With a moto like "go pher it"one could well imagine.You see he had lost his front teeth when he bit into a flute one day.

 

it was painful and he knew they would never grow back so there was indeed a big problem. How could he possibly eat? oh what to do! Thats how he met Stumpy a squirrel deprived of its tail.



ps. Gate very humorous writing